It's evident that the Green Bay Packers have struggled so far this season. Currently, they hold a 5-7 record and playoff chances are slim.
In the "What have you done for me lately?" world of the (Ron Jaworski voice) National Football League, the answer coming from Packer fans has been "Not much."
So here are my suggestions for Green Bay's board of directors.
The trouble starts at the top; encourage shareholders to sell to a single owner.
An old man wearing a leather Raiders jacket and a World War I style flying helmet and goggles has reportedly been running around the parking lots at Lambeau Field shouting "Let me run this team! If anyone can drive a storied NFL franchise like this one into the ground, it's old uncle Al!"
Maybe that guy's interested.
After selling the team to old uncle Al, he'll want to hire his own front office. What would be stopping him? He'd be the owner, after all. One of the resumes that would surely come across his desk would read something like this:
- NFL Player, 1980-1992. Won four Super Bowls as a player with Oakland, Washington, and San Francisco.
- NFL Broadcaster, 1993-2001.
- President and CEO, Detroit Lions, 2001-2008. Oversaw many high first-round draft decisions, including ones that became Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and two more wide receivers. Well-known in Michigan, many crowds at athletic events throughout the state chanted my name.
Looks like a good candidate to me.
Next, the team would have to upgrade the head coach. Mike Nolan will probably be available. He has some experience in drafting with high picks in San Francisco, so he could help the new general manager.
The quarterback would have to go as well. One tough season is one tough season too many; let the Brian Brohm era begin! Surely, he'll have a better go at things than Aaron Rodgers.
In the ensuing years, this brain trust will ingeniously maneuver their way into the top ten picks in the NFL Draft. They'll be able to get an injury-prone quarterback who had inflated college stats thanks to a spread offense.
They'll also be able to draft wide receivers (lots of wide receivers) and let the rest of the team fall as it may. And then after six or seven years of paying top dollar for top draft picks, team finances will be beyond repair.
In addition, the poor management and cold weather will make it impossible to sign decent free agents without overpaying them, and if these players really hate playing for this team, they can just trade them halfway through their first season on the team.
It sounds like a good idea to me. Change needs to be made and made immediately in Green Bay. Otherwise, they'll keep drafting good NFL talent in late rounds, develop that talent, and compete for division titles year in and year out with homegrown players.
Please, make it stop!
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