Thanksgiving: Lessons In Giving Thanks and Turkey Hunting

• The GM that signs Manny Ramirez: Look, we all know exactly how this will play out. Some GM will fall in love with Manny’s all-universe ability to strike a baseball and overpay him. Scott Boars will get his commission, Manny will come out of the gate gang busters, and then sometime around the 2009 All Star break, we’ll have our first incident of Manny Being Manny. Caveat emptor.
• Allen Iverson: What’s the saying about a leopard never changing his spots?  Iverson skipped practice…again…and appropriately enough, on Turkey Day. Seriously, you couldn’t script this better. Would someone please tell this guy that there are ten million unemployed people in this country right now, he plays a kids sport for a living, gets paid millions of dollars to do so, and he can’t even go to practice? I do realize “we’re talking about practice,” but come on.  Iverson’s contract is up at the end of the season. Maybe he and Manny can sign up to play for teams in the same city next year.
• Hank Steinbrenner: The Yankees last won a World Series in 2000 (that groan you heard was from a few million Cubs fans) and the Baby Boss has had enough. Armed with a few gajillion dollars burning a hole in his vault, Hank has already offered C.C. Sabathia and is prepared to pursue Derek Lowe and A.J. Burnett as well. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Didn’t New York learn from the failures of the past eight seasons that big ticket free agents are NOT the way to restock your team? While pitching is paramount to winning, signing a plethora of free agents will rob the Bombers of precious draft picks to restock their farm system and that will lead to few and far Joba Chamberlains.
• Jerry Jones: OK, let’s review the roster. Tank Johnson? Check.  Pacman Jones? Check. Let me guess, next on Jones’ To Do list is spring Michael Vick and O.J. Simpson. If the Cowboys medical staff can heal Simpson’s knees, then Dallas, will have the dream back field to run the option.
• Daryl Gross: While Gross finds himself on the turkey list, he should be thankful that the Syracuse football faithful aren’t the ones calling the shots on his employment status. The Greg Robinson Era at Syracuse, which draws to a conclusion this Saturday at Cincinnati, has been a disaster. The cupboard isn’t totally bare as there is some good, young talent on the Orange roster but given the size of the Carrier Dome crowds the past few years, the pressure is on Gross to hit a homerun with this hire.
• LSU Tigers football fans: OK, we get it. You don’t like Nick Saban.  But really, let go of the hate. While Saban is coaching rival Alabama now, he left LSU for an NFL shot. Can you blame him? The man did win a national title for LSU in 2003 and current coach Les Miles won another in 2008. Life’s been good for Tiger fans so the next time Saban and the Tide roll into town, just cheer for your team.
• Stephon Marbury: So the story here is that Marbury is, yet again, being a selfish, disruptive teammate by refusing to play for the Knicks for the second time in six days. Wow, that’s never happened before. He obviously doesn’t like the treatment from new coach Mike D’Antoni but at $20.8 million this season, you figure Steph could deal with it. Marbury couldn’t make it work in Minnesota with Kevin Garnett so what do Paul Pierce and Ray Allen know that he doesn’t?  To paraphrase George Costanza, “hey Steph, the jerk store called and they’re all out of you!”
• The BCS: Yet another BCS mess is brewing. Texas hammered Texas A&M by a score of 49-9 (style points anyone?) yesterday so Bob Stoops, your serve. Should Oklahoma pass the Longhorns in the BCS standings and get a title shot after Texas beat the Sooners in the regular season, what better excuse for people like me to write an article about the BCS.

• Charlie Weiss:  As Notre Dame heads into Saturday’s tilt at USC, which is sure to be an exhibition in offensive prowess for the Trojans, the Irish have managed to obtain bowl eligibility by the skin of their teeth.  ND has managed to compile a record of 6-5 against a schedule that has an overall record of 64-71.  Not exactly the SEC or Big 12 South. Included on their schedule are San Diego State, Michigan, Washington, and Syracuse. Those four teams have won a total of eight games. Here’s the rub: Starting with 2006, Weis’ first full season of recruiting, Notre Dame’s class rankings have been number five, 11, and two according to recruiting service Scout.com.  And so far this season, Scout has ND ranked at number ten. Given the lack of success on the field, this certainly stands to be an off-season worth watching in South Bend.

• Clay Bennett:  Here’s a man who shouldn’t be expecting too many holiday cards sent from the Seattle area this December. Bennett, as you may recall, bought the Seattle Supersonics. When he couldn’t get public funding for an arena, he took his ball and went home. Or in this case, he moved the team to Oklahoma City, thus killing basketball in the Emerald City. Now, I understand the financial benefits that cities receive from having professional sports franchises but I am bewildered when owners can spend hundreds of millions of dollars to buy these teams and then have the audacity to demand that taxpayer money be used to repair or construct their facilities.  If that isn’t the epitome of greed, then I’m not sure what is.

Gobble gobble!

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