Wrestling fans have come a long way in the past 20 years. What was once regarded as a sport and fat, smelly, ignorant rednecks is now a family entertainment product that people of all ages and backgrounds can enjoy.
However, there as "those" fans (Some call them "marks"): the ones who are totally obsessed and their lives revolve around wrestling. Or those "other fans": the fat, smelly, ignorant redneck ones.
Or how about those other "special" fans: the ones that don't know anything and just go along with everyone else or who's popular. Then there are "casual" people: the ones can casually discuss the product with it's fans but not spout of catchphrases or jump up and down like a chimp when their favorite comes out.
Using my simple formula, you will be able to tell what kind of fan you are.
Are You Serious, Bro?: These fans are what some call "marks". They are obsessed with wrestling. They find ways to include catchphrases and wrestling in everything. They likely have made their own wrestling character, despite having little to no athletic ability.
They spend hours scouring the Internet for "inside information". While very proud to be wrestling fans, they tend to be very annoying. Basically, the ones who get so worked up over storylines, you have to say "Are you serious, bro?"
What a Slobberknocker!: These are your old-school stereotypical fans. These are the loud rednecks. Ever go to a show and sit next to some guy in a wife beater who reeks of onions? They love love love Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Stone Cold, Hogan and most recently John Cena.
They try and tell all the kids about rasslin' from back in the early days of NWA, AWA, and WCW...and nobody cares. This type of fan is a dying breed.
What?: This is the ones who are just puppets. They cheer for only faces and boo only heels. Usually, young kids fall in this category. You know the ones: they use to HATE Randy Orton, but since he is now a face, they love him. They use to HATE CM Punk and now they like him. They love Jeff Hardy, despite the fact he is a total moron in real life. Basically, this fan is "Little Jimmy" and "Big Jimmy."
The People: Your most common and level-headed fans. They watch the shows, go to events, talk about it with other fans. They do not, however, take it to an uncomfortable level. They have their favorites and stick with them (whoever they may be). Best described as casual. Literally, millions (deep breath) and millions of these fans exist.
How to tell what kind of fan you are: (If you answer yes to the majority of questions in a category, you are this type.)
"Are you serious, bro" fans are a plague. They tend to annoy everyone with their "insider knowledge" and autograph collecting. You are this type of fan is you've ever followed or waited on a wrestler outside of a store or restaurant that you saw them in. Not only is it kind of annoying, it is also kind of creepy.
Another thing is begging them to follow you on Twitter. Bad news, I am sure they could care less about what you are doing or thinking. Do you take piles of fake belts and toys to signings? If so...Are you serious, bro?
Do you feel the need to criticize people who don't like your favorites and correct them at live events? If you answered yes, then you are this category. Do you fantasize about yourself being a WWE star, but don't take any steps to make it happen?
Have every taunt, catchphrase, music, and move mapped out that you WOULD use? If yes...I'm sorry to say, you are this person. Since you take the product so serious, why not track down DDP and enter his self-help program? Seriously, you like him...he likes you...he will help you like you!
That's not a bad thing. It's a good thing.
What kind of fan are you?
"What a slobberknocker" are your stereotypical rasslin' fans. If you have ever tailgated for a house show, you might be a redneck. Have you ever worn a sweat-stained wife beater to an event? Have you ever bet on the outcomes of matches?
Do you long for the days of The Four Horsemen (no, not Fortune), AWA, and old school WCW (pre-nWo). Did you enjoy Stone Cold Steve Austin's vehicles, more than The Rock or 90s DX? If yes, perhaps you need to get with the times.
Do you think John Cena's Marine shtick (he was only a Marine in a movie) is the best thing going on today? Do you find Good Ol' JR's euphemisms, metaphors and similes amusing?
Do you not know what a euphemism is? Answered "yes" of these? Let's get you some soap and a Steveweiser because you might be a redneck!
"What" fans are a peculiar group. No, they aren't the only ones who chant "What?" at events. They are fickle. They let WWE and TNA pull their strings. Did you once despise Randy Orton, CM Punk or Edge, due to them being mean to Triple H and John Cena and are now a huge fan?
Did you once want Lita to get hit by a bus and now want her to return? Do you root for both The Rock and John Cena? AND NO YOU CAN'T LIKE BOTH (you can not like either)! That's like rooting for the Red Sox and the Yankees.
Do you dress or dress your kids head to toe in John Cena garb? Are you "Little Jimmy"? If you answered yes to most of these, you make all other fans say: "What?"
"The People" are the most common fans. They like who they like, whether they be heel or face. Do you only talk about wrestling to wrestling fans? Can you watch a WWE show and not complain about it not being TV-14? Can you not try to fight someone when they call wrestling "fake"?
Can you meet a wrestler without being a total spaz or taking 900 pictures of them? Have you been a true fan of someone since you first saw them? Can you appreciate the show without criticizing and over analyzing every aspect of it? If you can say "yes" to most of these, then you are a casual fan.
You don't need to troll other fans or try and relive the past. You watch because you appreciate the art or wrestling. While you appreciate good promos, you can like wrestlers with less than stellar mic skills. Congratulations, you are not a hypocrite or a troglodyte (-10 points for stealing big words from Jericho).
So what kind of fan are you? Are you about to type something hateful in the comment section without reading the whole article or because you are mad about the category you fall in? Well if you did or were planning on it: Are you serious, bro?
Sure there are shades of gray and some people might be more than one category. Take it as you will. Feel free to comment below.
Thanks for reading! (This was intended as satire, so don't get so worked up.)