"I know we're meant to be these hard-headed, money-obsessed professionals, but we're still little boys at heart. Just ask our wives." - Rob Lee
Athletes' wives and girlfriends, otherwise known as WAGs, are a crucial element in every athlete's life. They provide him with a sense of balance and keep him grounded. Without WAGs, athletes would roam the Earth like nomads looking for food and shelter. They can also be a source of good luck to some of these guys.
But not all WAGs are to be categorized as good luck charms for athletes. Many of them, like the ones in this list, are the exact opposite. Instead of bringing the athlete to another level, these WAGs make sure he stays right where he is or even pull him further to the bottom. You could even call them bad luck.
A.J. Feeley is most certainly a professional football player. I promise you he is. I think I saw his football card in a Target one time.
The best move of his career is marrying the beautiful and talented Heather Mitts. This is a fact and cannot be disputed.
She might be the most annoying person in the world, but she is still something sexy to stare at for a minute or two.
Her husband, Tim Hasselbeck, the one Hasselbeck brother who is not good at football, is now a fantasy football expert on ESPN.
When you go from playing in the NFL to talking about fantasy football for the NFL, at the age of 33, things have probably not gone the way you planned.
Misty May Treanor wins gold medals and beach volleyball championships. That is what she does; nothing else. She does not have to win at anything else; she is so dominant at her own sport. Her husband, however, is a different story.
He might want to follow in her footsteps one day. I am not talking about learning how to win at his own sport, I am actually thinking he should give up baseball and hit the beach volleyball scene. Nothing says fresh like a clean pair of board shorts and some sandals.
When I first heard about Brittany Koehl, my first thought was, "What lucky athlete is she married to?"
Then I was handed a sheet of paper with the name Stephen McGee. Who? I know a lot about football and even I had to contact the Stump the Schwab guy for this question.
No one should feel bad for Elizabeth Smith. She is still married to Alex Smith and making loads of money while being nothing more than a beautiful housewife.
However, if we could go one NFL season without anyone talking about how close he is to a breakout season, I would be happy. Face it, America and 49er fans, he is the same guy every year. There are no breakouts left. He is who you thought he was.
Heather Kozar is married to Tim Couch. These are the facts of the case.
Tim Couch was once an incredible college football player until someone told him that NFL quarterbacks are required to throw the football to their own teammates.
Things got so bad for Tim that he was booed off of Lambeau Field when he attempted a comeback in the NFL with the Green Bay Packers.
Bottom line: He is still married to Heather Kozar, a former Playboy playmate, and that is winning to the extreme.
Brett Tomko has a great last name. It sounds like a toy you would give a child. His wife, on the other hand, is kind of the same way. She was a former Playboy playmate, so we already know children are sneaking her issues into their rooms anyways.
His career never really got off the ground. He always managed to be a mediocre player with the most beautiful wife Major League Baseball has ever seen.
There was a time in her life when Jessica Simpson was a simple country girl. She was married to a tool, but he was still a nice guy.
But then came the Tony Romo experience, which sent her to the loony bin. She gained enough weight to be worried about her and then moved on by marrying Eric Johnson of the San Francisco 49ers.
I am not saying she is bad luck, but every athlete she has ever been with has either choked in a playoff game or never plays.
Do you remember when Alyssa Milano married that baseball player and he ended up winning the MLB MVP award that year?
She has been with more pitchers than a German drunkard in October. The only difference is that when she is done, they are usually the ones who get sick.
Tony Romo has proved he is worthy of being called tough. But that does not excuse him from not being able to win games in December and January.
Candace Crawford jumped onto a sinking ship, but has not even tried to do anything about it. She is too busy enjoying being the wife of a Dallas Cowboys quarterback, which was once a well-respected person in the NFL. Sorry, Tony.
Dennis Rodman was already dealing with the loss of Scottie Pippen, Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson in Chicago, but the weight of a quickie marriage in Las Vegas to Carmen Electra proved to be a bit much.
He eventually retired two seasons following the divorce in 1999, but from the moment he said, "I do," his NBA career took a dive. He played for the Lakers and Mavericks until he decided to call it quits in 2000.
I hate to keep doggin' on NFL quarterbacks, but these guys have the life. Kyle Boller is a career backup quarterback for different teams around the NFL.
The former first-round pick by the Baltimore Ravens is hearing the hot wife jokes and bench warming ones too.
But do not feel sorry for him, as he brings home enough money, more than you will ever see, to keep his beauty pageant wife, Carrie Prejean, around.
And you thought I would not be able to hook you up with a Sam Keller reference.
I have dug the name out of the waste bin long enough to talk about how he never really played NFL football, but his girlfriend when he was at Arizona State, Casey Connelly, does not care about that now. She is too damn busy to worry about her man playing ball.
She only cares if he is cashing those big checks.
This is the ultimate door prize for Andy Roddick. He has lived his entire tennis career as one of the best players in the world who does not win anything, so being married to a Victoria's Secret lingerie model is icing on the cake.
He might have to keep losing matches and throwing fits because most of the women like Brooklyn hate winners. You will soon understand who I am referring to by the end of this slideshow.
It appears that Kim Kardashian is no longer chasing waterfalls. She has settled down with New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries.
She has done her part to mess up different athletes. She already gave Reggie Bush the kiss of death before leaving him last year.
If she would have waited until after the summer, she would have been happy to hear he plays in Miami now, right down the street from her shop.
Thanks to Jeff Gordon, people love NASCAR. He was one of the most hated drivers in the history of the sport, and it had a lot to do with his abilities. He was dominant in the late '90s, winning four championships over a six-year span.
Then came Ingrid Vandebosch, the hottest female associated with NASCAR ever, and life took on a whole new meaning for Jeff Gordon. He has yet to reclaim his dominance since the two got married. The best part is, he does not care what you think, because, look at his wife.
Everyone already knows this story, but I will tell it again.
Kendra meets Hank Baskett. At the time, he was playing for the Philadelphia Eagles but was later released to make way for a guy named Michael Vick. Then, Hank and Kendra got married.
After that, he has had an onside kick in the Super Bowl bounce off his hands, left the NFL and was even drafted by the Virginia Destroyers of the United Football League.
Yeah, I would say things have not gotten any better.
It is hard to imagine a list of athlete wives and girlfriends having the beautiful Maria Sharapova on it. I thought she was an athlete herself?
She is, but she is also engaged to Sasha Vujacic, shooting guard for the New Jersey Nets. He will not mind the NBA lockout this year since he has Sharapova at his disposal.
She would make most men quit their day jobs just to spend more time with her, and I am including the President.
Does Jeff Garcia carry around a bag of luck every where he goes? He has to be one of the luckiest men alive.
Once he married Carmella Decesare, a former Playboy playmate and an easy 18 on the sexy scale, football began to become his second biggest priority.
Can you blame the man? The only reason he still plays football is to reinforce to his wife that he is, in fact, a real man.
Adriana Lima has always been the most beautiful woman in the room. So when she announced that she was getting married, it came as no surprise to anyone. That is, until she told the world who it was to.
Marko Jaric? She is going to marry a former NBA player who has logged more time in the waiting room at a DMV than on an NBA court?
Since they began a life together, all he has done is gone from NBA to Euroleague. It is not a step up, but at least he is going to be playing basketball in the next few months.