Joey Porter spoke yesterday. After telling any who would listen that water is wet and he is the best that ever was, many claim he apologized.
Speculation is it was for refusing to come off the field when coach Sparano benched him late in the Dolphins 48-28 loss to the Patriots.
An alternate theory is it was about the lamp that got broken in the Living Room when he was seven.
"Everbody's good," nose tackle Jason Ferguson told the Palm Beach Post on Tuesday.
When asked to explain what's good, Mr. Ferguson just shook his head and walked away.
I've moved on to the upcoming St.Louis game," said coach Sparano. Coach "no not Soprano" Sparano the asked if anyone had questions about the Rams.
Mark Massner of the Online Daily News asked what Joey Porter thought of Rams' interim coach Jim Haslett. Coach Tony Sparano had no comment.
When asked about facing Marc Bulger and the Rams, Joey Porter said, "There are strawberries then there are strawberries! You ask me about the Rams offence?! Really?! I'm Joey bleepin' Porter! Strawberry Jam tastes good, but like anything you can over do it, you know! Especially with peanut butter! Same goes for Torry Holt! The last time we played them they showed up! I've never been disrespected like that! It's like they were using grape jelly!"
He then breathed.
"Horseraddish!" he yelled. "Horseraddish! They will be eating horseraddish, Sunday. They will because I'm Joey bleepin' Porter! I ate horseraddish once. Didn't like it. Didn't like it at all. They will all eat horse raddish!"
"Interview over!" he yelled. He then left for his car in the parking lot, mumbling about his his keys jingling musically because he is Joey bleepin' Porter.
This is satire, and some quotes are made up.
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