RAW coming to us live from Cleveland, Ohio.
CM Punk starts us off.
Apparently, there was some serious shenanigans in the main event last night. Punk says that he is beat up, but the thing that hurts the most is his pride.
Triple H comes out to say that he is every bit as beat up as Punk, but today he is still the COO of the WWE.
There’s another Pay-Per-View in two weeks?
The Game announces that the WWE Championship will be contested in a triple-threat Hell in a Cell match between Punk, Alberto Del Rio and John Cena.
Triple H then says if Punk can’t get it through his head that he isn’t involved with all the conspiracy shenanigans that went on last night, then he has no problem going to war once again.
Punk says someone is using their dislike for each other to their advantage.
Laurinaitis interrupts and says that he thinks Punk is in the middle of the conspiracy.
Punk says that Laurinaitis is behind the whole thing because he wants to take Triple H’s job.
Laurinaitis tries to fire Punk, but Triple H doesn’t let him.
The Game says he is going to figure everything out, then fire someone at the end of the night.
Triple H, do us all a favor and fire R-Truth.
First match up next. It’s a huge 8-man tag match.
Team Face includes Evan Bourne, Sheamus, Justin Gabriel and Kofi Kingston.
Team Heel includes Christian, Wade Barrett, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty.
Team Face starts out with some quick tags as they work over McGillicutty.
McGillicutty turns the tide on Bourne, then he and Otunga go to work on the high flyer.
Bourne takes a beating until he ducks a clothesline and gets the tag to the Celtic Warrior.
Sheamus, on fire, hits his signature rock bottom backbreaker.
The pin gets broken up and chaos ensues.
Sheamus fights off Christian then kicks Otunga with a Brogue Kick, then plants him with the Irish Cross for the Team Face win.
No surprises there. Very formulaic match.
Triple H is shown backstage telling a ref to find the Miz and R-Truth.
Del Rio comes in to tell Triple H that he is disgusted with his decision to make his rematch in a triple-threat Hell in a Cell match.
Wolverine is guest hosting RAW to promote his new Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots movie. He’s really hamming it up right now. He starts to plug his movie pretty hard until Vickie comes out to be annoying.
“The Cougar meets the Wolverine.” Nice one, Cole.
Vickie is wearing shorts that are about two feet too short. Ziggler makes fun of Wolverine by confusing him with other actors.
Ziggler then called Cleveland the town of the underdog. There’s a difference between being an underdog and just being bad at every sport.
Wolverine says he is going to find the biggest underdog backstage and bring him out to beat Ziggler.
A “We want Ryder!” chant starts up.
WWE rewind shows us a Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara confrontation that I must have missed from last week’s Smackdown. Definitely have to go back and watch that.
I hope they end up fighting and wearing the same colors so no one has any idea who to cheer for.
The faceless one will take on the man with the bags. Right before the match is about to get underway, the second Sin Cara comes out.
My wish comes true as they start flying around the ring and I have no idea what’s going on.
Well, thanks for showing up Cody Rhodes. Why did they even have him come out? I really wanted to see that match.
R-Truth and Miz are shown backstage apologizing to Triple H.
Triple H accepts the apology but fines them $250K for attacking an official, then puts them in a match against Cena and Punk in the main event tonight.
JR will interview the new World Heavyweight Champion, Mark Henry.
How long are these Super Shows going to go on?
It’s awesome to see all the superstars, and it helps further the storylines that are going on, but it’s getting strange that there are still titles that can only be defended on each show.
Henry wants everyone to apologize and he wants JR to do it for them. JR apologizes but then Henry puts him in a choke hold.
“You’re hurting me!” I think that’s the point, JR.
Lawler jumps in the middle. Henry grabs Lawler.
Lawler tries to fight back but gets decked then laid out with the World’s Strongest Slam.
Henry then kicks Lawler outside and slams him through the announcers table while the crowd behind the announcers table begs Henry to slam Cole as well.
Henry has been on a tear recently.
Beating Orton cleanly for the World Heavyweight Championship was something very few people expected.
He has most certainly been one of the more interesting characters and more dominating forces in the WWE recently.
Putting the strap on him heading into something as brutal as Hell in a Cell was a great move.
Kelly Kelly and Eve vs. Beth Phoenix and Natalya up next. Eve picks up the pin with a roll-up.
Ryder vs Ziggler up next.
Ziggler starts out with the upper hand until they take each other out with a double clothesline.
Vickie hits Ryder and gets tossed from ringside. Wolverine takes advantage of the distraction and clocks Ziggler who then takes the Rough Ryder.
“That was a real steal for Zack Ryder,” Cole said. He is making up for Lawler’s absence with some awful knee-slappers.
A Swagger promo video precedes a backstage segment where Vickie takes Swagger into her stable. Ziggler does not look happy.
After a boring backstage segment with Punk and Cena, we get a sweet Hell in a Cell promo video.
Main event up next.
R-Truth and Miz have a “remix” of Truth’s entrance that sounds like “akdjeakjsd YOU SUCK! askasdlkasj aoisdjeoal asoidigjeosj YOU SUCK!” instead of “fjeuhalhei WHAT’S UP! afijeaiosjede iudhue[axmj cnueoa WHAT’S UP!”.
Cena will take on Miz to start us off.
Miz, in a surprisingly classy move, apologizes to the ref he attacked last night.
Cena and Punk are looking good as a tag team early on, as they have the upper hand.
Miz finally takes the advantage by nailing Cena with a nasty DDT.
Miz and Truth are trading tags now, as they work over Cena.
Cena finally gets some momentum by hitting a crazy gutwrench suplex, but Truth stops him before he can get the tag to Punk.
Cole just complimented Miz for standing in the corner and holding the tag string. I wish I was making that up.
This match has been pretty boring so far and is really only an elaborate set-up to the inevitable hot-tag to Punk who will clean house and win.
Just when you think Cena’s finally going to get the tag, Miz takes his head off with a lariat.
Miz misses with his jumping corner clothesline move.
Cena finally gets the tag to Punk who starts destroying everything in his path. He knocks Miz into Truth, then hits the GTS on Miz for the win.
Another very formulaic match.
With the amount of talent in the match, there should have been more exciting spots and more near falls.
Triple H’s music hits as Punk and Cena celebrate.
He comes out to fire Miz and Truth. WHAT!!!
He got half of that right. We get a shot of everyone watching backstage.
Triple H walks into the room, then gets jumped by the Awesome Truth. Chaos ensues and Miz and Truth are tossed out of the stadium as RAW goes off the air.
That was a pretty underwhelming RAW. The matches pretty much sucked.
For a “Super Show” there were only four matches, since the Sin Cara vs Rhodes match never actually happened.
The only interesting thing that happened was the firing of the Miz and Truth, and the only reason it was really interesting was because we don’t know why it happened.
This seems to be a weekly thing where one question is resolved only to pose another question that is left a cliffhanger.
Hopefully Miz will be back soon.
Until then, you have been a lovely, lovely audience.
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