We've had some good times; really, we have. Unfortunately, we've grown apart this year and I need some time away to figure some stuff out. Its just gotten weird lately. I know I said I loved you and that we'd be together forever, but baby, I was drunk! We barely knew each other at that point. How can you hold me to that? I mean, you were sitting there all hot, I had just finished my 5th Boilermaker and I was coming off of hookups-turned-heartbreaks with the Bowl Alliance and the Bowl Coalition.
You promised me you were different. That I wouldn't have to deal with drama any more. That it would all work out. I wanted to believe you baby, I really did. It was always something though. You always had excuses.
First Kansas State; you promised me you'd changed. I thought we could be together forever after that one, and it seemed good for a while, but then you went and got googly-eyed for Florida State despite Miami sitting there at No. 2. I could see that one though, FSU had some things going for them, but Nebraska? Come on, Baby! What were you thinking?
I know you had a little trouble with Oklahoma, LSU, and USC, and who wouldn't? That was a toughie. I stuck with you on that one. Even though my friends said USC was the best I listened to you. In hindsight, they were right. Oklahoma looked good on paper, but they weren't champions of anything, baby! How can I trust you with important decisions if you keep leaving me high and dry like this?
You got the Utah thing right, and we didn't have enough space for Boise State, I understand why you left them out, but Auburn? Baby, you just couldn't shake that Oklahoma fetish.
And then you got good again baby. For a while there, we were good. You promised it was all okay and I chalked up the poor decisions up to you being young. Baby, I wanted this to work, but you've gone off the deep end. What the hell are you doing this year? You can't pick two. Not from this group. That would be cruel. Are you heartless?
Plus, you neglect my Ball States while trying to get me to pay attention to your ACC. I'm not an ACC man, baby. I hate to tell you like this, but your ACC has gotten flabby lately. It looked good at first, but you tried to pack on some extra teams, and its just gone wrong. I liked your ACC when it was nice and small. A "nine" is not bad baby. You were greedy and you wanted a "twelve", well look what happened? Are you happy?
I have something to confess. I've been talking to Playoff lately. I know what you're going to say, "But NCAA, all your friends have been with that slut!" Maybe so. She's just so damn perfect.
Look at the way she looks down there with my little bro, FCS. See how happy they are? I just can't get that feeling with you. We don't have enough in common. Plus you won't even go for a "plus one". She's throwing around terms like "Eight Team" or maybe "Sixteen Team". I'd be an idiot to pass up such an opportunity.