Nothing is more appropriate for celebrating the much-anticipated matchup between recent Super Bowl champions New Orleans Saints and Green Bay Packers and the kickoff to the 2011 NFL season than a greasy, chubby, tone-deaf guy from Detroit.
The NFL demonstrated that it is truly plugged into the psyche of fans everywhere and brought in an incredible artist to help us rejoice in all that is NFL football: Kid Rock.
Yes, Kid Rock. The Southern rocker from Michigan responsible for the inspiring anthem "Bawitdaba."
Only an artist as clearly talented as he could have transformed a classic Warren Zevon song into this:
Time to get real here, people. We have starved for football for months, and this is what they give us?
The league that spent the offseason negotiating more money than most of us could ever dream of decided to book Kid Rock for the NFL kickoff's opening act. What, was Kylie Minogue not available?
I have a theory that the NFL simply forgot to book an act for the pregame show, and they panicked:
Hey Janitor Bob! You said something about "being a rock star," right? How would you like to...
As soon as Bob Ritchie (yes, that is his actual name) opened his mouth to sing, the Twitterverse went crazy with conversation—both positive and negative...okay, mostly negative:
But nothing quite sums up Kid Rock's performance like this one:
And now I leave you with a special treat from the Kid himself...
Happy. Football. Season.