Welcome to September, sports fans. Get ready for a fun season filled with football, baseball playoff chases and, what the heck, LeBron James coverage?!?
But there’s no basketball season. Actually, there isn’t even anything going on in the NBA other than a lockout. So can someone please tell me why ESPN is forcing James coverage so far down my throat that when I cough baby powder comes out?
If you haven’t recognized the disgusting amount of James coverage on the leading sports network I congratulate you on never watching TV—that is the only way you can avoid it. If you have noticed the nauseating segments on James, I feel your pain.
This love-fest all started when James had his high school games shown on ESPN and the highlights shown on SportsCenter (soon to be named “LeBron James Power Hour”). Little did we all know that the station was going to virtually marry the guy, giving him an hour of TV time to put together the biggest mockery of sports television history: “The Decision.”
“I’m going to take my talents to South Beach,” was the quote heard around the sports world. Instantly ESPN.com introduced their “Heat Index” to the world, giving fans unwanted daily coverage about American sports' biggest headache. Where was “The Patriot Act” when New England was on the pursuit to perfection in 2007 or “The Laker Effect” when Kobe Bryant and company were putting together a dynasty?
Alright, maybe I’m overreacting. It was just a way for James to make up for the national signing day he never got to do, right? WRONG.
This nonsense only spread quicker than wildfires come NBA Finals time, where his new super team was playing for the Larry O’ Brien trophy. Well, ESPN’s favorite team went down to the Dallas Mavericks, but if I moved to America the day after the Finals I would have thought the opposite.
Interviews, segments and analysis on the Heat came barreling in to every family room that was watching ESPN that following week, while the Mavericks got the kind of coverage a hockey team gets after a regular season win. True story.
Well, it can’t get any worse, right? I mean the season is over, there is no way ESPN is going to rob baseball and football teams of coverage, correct? WRONG AGAIN.
This offseason, ESPN has designated some of their programming to be a showcase for LeBron James twitter feed. They treat his tweets the way a priest treats bible scripture. Seriously, why bother following him if you’re going to get a full dose of his thoughts on every sports subject possible on TV anyway?
His thoughts on Merrill Hoge talking about Tim Tebow? Posted. His take on Maryland’s uniforms? Put it on the air.
For goodness sake, even his dream about losing his hair was plastered on the TV screen.
Is there really nothing going on in the sports world where James has to be mentioned every week? No, there is plenty to talk about. But ever since ESPN married King James, we cannot escape seeing him on the tube. I hope this changes or otherwise I’m going to lose my hair.
And if LeBron tweets about it, ESPN will be the first to mention it.
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