18 Great Premier League Fan Chants

Lindsay EanetCorrespondent ISeptember 7, 2011

18 Great Premier League Fan Chants

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    If there's one thing UK football fans do better than any others, it's gotta be the creative chanting. Other leagues may be content with their rhythmic clapping and shouting of players' names and American football fans can have their 'De-FENSE! (clap clap) De-FENSE! (clap clap),' but not you, you poet laureates of the pitch. Even when your side's down 3-0 in the pissing England rain, a good rebuttal chant or song will make everyone feel better, and we here at BR wanted to share just a few of our favorites.   

    This list will just focus on the EPL so we're not here all night (although the Championship, SPL and other divisions have plenty of gems) and feature some of the funniest, cleverest and sometimes wildly inappropriate Premiership fan chants that have popped up in recent times, most which are still heard on the pitch now and a few which have been retired for various reasons. If there's any we forgot or that you'd like to share, have a go in the comments section and we'll all have a good laugh. 

Stoke City to Chelsea: 'You've Got to File for Divorce...'

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    'You gotta file, file, file, file, file for divorce.' (to the tune of Cheryl Cole's 'Fight for This Love') 

    If there's one thing that's true about terrace chants, it's that everyone is fair game. WAGs and significant others are clearly no exception. So it came as no surprise when Ashley Cole returned to Stamford Bridge for a match against Stoke in May of 2010, the away fans used a song by his estranged (now ex-)wife, former Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole, to give him a good wind-up.

    Chelsea got the last laugh of the day though, pounding the Potters 7-0.

Liverpool: 'Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez'

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    'Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez runs down the wing for me!' (to the tune of Buddy Holly's 'Heartbeat') 

    Poor Maxi Rodriguez may not get to see much playing time this season, but you can bet when he does, fans at the Kop will break out into this catchy little number. When the Argentine winger scored a hat trick against Fulham back in May, Craven Cottage erupted with the sound of away fans rocking the simple, yet effective Buddy Holly riffing. 

Stoke City: 'Huth! There It Is!'

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    'Huth! There it is!' (to the tune of Tag Team's 'Whoomp! There it Is' and repeated ad nauseam) 

    Sometimes, simple is best, and the Potters' effective use of the pronunciation of their German centre back's surname which became part of their repertoire last season, proves it. 

Newcastle / Aston Villa: 'Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye'

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    'Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye
    Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye
    Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye
    Saturday, Habib Beye, rocking all week with you!' 

    (to the tune of the Happy Days theme song)

    Something of an oldie now, but a goodie nonetheless that originated during the French international's stint at Newcastle United. Rarely do players' names lend themselves to song parodies so unspeakably well as Habib Beye's did to, well, the Happy Days theme song. 

    The defender, now 33, became a cult star as a Magpie thanks to a few clever songs and the irreverent, pun-tastic and ultimately made-with-love fansite, Beyewatch. Now at Aston Villa, Beye may be spending a lot of time on the bench, but if he ever comes in, Villa supporters certainly resurrect one of the EPL's best song-parody chants. 

Manchester United: 'Park, Park, Wherever You May Be'

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    'Park, Park wherever you may be,
    You eat dogs in your home country,
    Could be worse,
    You could be Scouse,
    Eating rats in your council house.'

    (to the tune of the Shaker hymn 'Simple Gifts') 

    Upon hearing Manchester United fans singing their tribute to midfielder Park Ji-Sung (and their hatred of Scousers), journalist Barry Glendenning called it 'the greatest football chant of all time, as it manages to be simultaneously endearing and offensive on a number of levels.'

    Some fans have offered 'You don't live in your home country' as a more politically-correct alternative to the line about canine cuisine for fans squeamish about the idea of perpetuating Korean stereotypes. But it's clear United supporters mean nothing but affection for one of the club's strongest veterans, and the whole thing, per usual, is meant to be a biting but nonetheless well-played jab against their Red rivals, made all the more ridiculous with the backdrop of the innocuous Shaker tune.

    Man United's fans are willing to risk offending other people to demonstrate just how much they hate Scousers, and you have to admire that kind of commitment to the rivalry. 

Aston Villa: 'You're Just a Small Team in Scotland...'

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    'Small team in Scotland / you're just a small team in Scotland / small team in Scotland, you're just a small team in Scotland...' (to the tune of 'Guantanamera')

    Fans at Villa Park use this one to poke fun at their opponents from way up north, especially Sunderland. Geographic variations on this one are used all the time—German fans even caught on during the 2010 World Cup, telling defeated England fans that their team was 'just a small part of Scotland...'

Manchester City's United Debt Chant

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    'U-N-I-T-E-D
    That spells f***ing debt to me,
    with a knick knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone, 
    Ocean Finance on the phone.'

    (to the tune of 'This Old Man') 

    Like most sides involved in contentious rivalries, City fans have been known to take a few low blows when mocking their Mancunian nemeses. This chant, which first made the rounds at Eastlands in 2010,pokes fun at United's recent debt woes. 

    Although a great topical chant, many City fans prefer not to use it because the first line, especially when heard on television broadcasts, makes it sound like a pro-United chant and the rest gets drowned out. Not that City fans will have trouble coming up with a debt-related replacement. 

West Ham to Fulham: 'Does Your Butler Know You're Here?'

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    'Does your butler know you're here?'

    'Does your [blank] know you're here?' is hardly a new or original formula, but when it's done right, it's done right, like when England fans at a friendly against Egypt asked the away fans the so-bad-it's-so-good question, 'Does your mummy know you're here?' [Rim shot.]  

    Daily Mirror writer Michael Calvin once remarked that losing at Craven Cottage 'is a little like being mugged at an art gallery.' Further looking to mock the West London club's upper-crust reputation, West Ham fans and others like to make sure the Cottagers have informed the help of their intentions to spend the day at the grounds. This chant has also been used by clubs to mock Chelsea fans, and variations include 'You only drink white wine!' and a now-common rebuttal, 'We pay your benefits!' was used last season by some Arsenal fans to taunt now-relegated Blackpool.

Fulham: 'That's Zamora'

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    'When you're sat in Row Z / and the ball hits your head / that's Zamora.' (to the tune of Dean Martin's 'That's Amore')

    Another 'That's Amore' / 'That's Zamora' tune first surfaced during Bobby Zamora's time at Brighton & Hove Albion, but this one was much more, erm, fawning in nature. But when the veteran striker was having some accuracy troubles while at Fulham, fans at Craven Cottage started taking some affectionate swipes. 

Everyone: 'It's Just Like Watching the Bill!'

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    'It's just like watching The Bill!' (to the tune of 'It's just like watching Brazil...')

    Any time law enforcement surrounds the pitch, you can expect fans to start singing this tribute, which references a long-running UK cop show.

    Another popular terrace response to police presence, heard at multiple grounds: 'What a waste of council tax, we paid for your hats!' 

Manchester United: Nani Are You Okay?

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    'Nani are you okay, are you okay, are you okay Nani?' (to the tune of Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal') 

    Once upon a time, Manchester United fans noticed their winger bore a slight resemblance to a young Michael Jackson, and an immortal terrace chant was born. Some song-parody chants are a dime a dozen, but this one works because it's like a meta-chant, hitting three usual terrace chant tropes: the pop song parody, the name pun and the celebrity lookalike. 

    Another older-than-dirt but still notable name-related song parody from the Trafford crowd is their salute to father-and-son duo Gary and Phil Neville set to David Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel': 'Neville Neville, Your future's immense / Neville Neville, You play in defense / Neville Neville, like Jacko you're bad / Neville Neville, is the name of your dad!'

Everyone to Norwich City: 'There's Only One Gordon Ramsay...'

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    'One Gordon Ramsay, there's only one Gordon Ramsay...'

    A popular chant used by supporters of Chelsea, Ipswich Town and many an away fan at Carrow Road, this celebrity shout-out jab is a nod to one of Norwich City's joint-majority shareholders, colorful British celebrity television chef Delia Smith.

Blackburn Rovers to Burnley: 'Show Me Your Six Fingers'

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    'Hands up, baby hands up, show me your six fingers, show me your six fingers!' (to the tune of Ottowan's 'Hands Up')

    Incestuous family-related chants are the bread and butter for many Lancashire and Midlands-based clubs, who usually fire them at each other. But instead of doing the usual 'insert-the-club-name-into-the-Addams-Family-theme-tune' bit, Blackburn Rovers fans fired at Lancashire rivals Burnley with this crude but totally likable incest jab. 

Liverpool: 'Blame It on Traoré'

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    'Dont blame it on Biscan
    Dont blame it on Finnan
    Dont blame it on Hamann
    blame in on Traoré

    He just can't
    he just can't
    he just can't control his feet...'

    (to the tune of Michael Jackson's 'Blame it on the Boogie') 

    Scousers are known for being able to take the mick out of their own misfortunes, so it came as no surprise when, instead of moping after Djimi Traoré scored an own-goal against Burnley back in 2005, Liverpool fans wrote a humorous and forgiving tune. He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet.

    Another old self-effacing favorite from the Reds, whose opponents frequently like to use Liverpool's reputation as a city full of thieves and council estate-dwellers when coming up with terrace chants, is their rebuttal to West Ham's 'We've got DiCanio' chant: 'You've got DiCanio, we've got your stereo!' Boom, roasted.

Arsenal: 'Let's Talk About Cesc, Baby'

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    'Lets talk about Cesc baby,
    Lets talk about Van-Per-sie,
    Lets talk about Theo Walcott, Kolo Toure and Nasri,
    Lets talk about Cesc!'

    (to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa's 'Let's Talk About Sex')

    This genius chant, a favorite of '90s-kid Gooners, went through several incarnations throughout Cesc Fabregas' career at Arsenal to incorporate the likes of Adebayor, Flamini and Thierry Henry. A chant that can evolve over time—good stuff.

    Sadly, now that Cesc has left the Emirates, this boss Salt-N-Pepa tribute will no longer be in use. But fans at the Emirates will have no trouble coming up with a good R&B or pop replacement for the likes of Arteta, Benayoun and Santos. Maybe 'Arteta' to the tune of Rihanna's 'Umbrella'? Alright, I'll just show myself out, then.

The Best of 'He's Here, He's There...'

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    A popular format for player or management-specific chants is the 'He's here, he's there...' format, e.g. Liverpool's 'He's quick, he's Red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane, Robbie Keane.' Catchy, usually easy to come up with and everyone loves a good rhyme.  

    'He's fat, he's round, he's sold your f***ing ground, Al-Fayed, Al-Fayed'

    A favorite taunt for away fans at Craven Cottage taking the mick out of Fulham's owner, eccentric billionaire and statue enthusiast Mohamed Al-Fayed.

    'He's Red, he's sound, he's banned from every ground, Carra's dad, Carra's dad'

    An affectionate tribute from Liverpool fans for native son Jamie Carragher's father, after he was banned from all UK football grounds on the charges being drunk at a football ground. (Seems a bit harsh—if this were a rule that were regularly enforced, wouldn't a good quarter or so of Premiership fans be permanently banned?)  

    And a rather old honorable mention...

    'He's here, he's there, we're not allowed to swear, Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf'

    After the former Chelsea defender said in an interview that he didn't like the idea of fans using profanity in his song, they offered this rebuttal. 

The Best of the Celebrity Look-Alikes

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    Celebrity lookalike chants and references usually tend to be crowd-pleasers. Sadly, the best ones are usually one-offs or are no longer in use, but a few from the past couple of years were just too good not to share.   

    'Tina! Tina! Give us a wave!'

    When then-Portsmouth Keeper David James was rocking a rather voluminous 'fro at a 2010 match at Fratton Park, Wolverhampton fans kept their mind off their side's away loss by paying homage to his 'Tina Turner' hairdo with the chant above and some similar variations, including 'Tina for England!' and 'Tina is a Wolves fan!

    'You're just a fat Eddie Murphy!'

    Pretty much every side ever used this against Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink during his time at Chelsea, making it about as ubiquitous as Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. A regular fixture on any roundup of great terrace chants, this celebrity lookalike chant is the gold standard by which all future celebrity lookalike chants will be judged.  

    'There's only one Alan Rickman!'

    Wigan Athletic supporters latched on to Dimitar Berbatov's resemblance to Professor Snape from the Harry Potter films during a match against Manchester United and offered their tribute to the English actor who plays him. 

The Best of the Rest: Song Parodies

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    A few more song-name-parody jobs worth noting at the end...

    'Boom, let me here you say Ba-le, Ba-le!' (to the tune of Outhere Brothers' 'Boom Boom Boom')  

    Tottenham fans are among several clubs to use this jock jam, but it sounds especially musical when used to salute everyone's favorite Welsh winger.

    'Leighton Baines, you probably think this song is about you...' (to the tune of Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain')

    Defenders usually have to be pretty selfless on the pitch, but nevertheless, Everton fans have this one for their long-time left back. 

    'You've been hit by — you've been struck by — Lee Cattermole!' (to the tune of Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal') 

    The second 'Smooth Criminal' parody on our list, this time for Sunderland defensive midfielder Lee Cattermole. 

    'His name is Rio and he watches from the stands...' (to the tune of Duran Duran's 'Rio')

    After Manchester United centre back Rio Ferdinand was given a four-match suspension in 2010 for violent conduct on the field, Manchester City fans took aim at their rival player's misfortune with this little ditty.