College Basketball: UNC Already Wins Title, Coaches Cancel Season

Jux Berg

Columnist Written on November 19, 2008

You know what would be fun for me? I’ll tell you what would be fun for me. If I could create some sort of censoring device that would shield my eyes, ears, and brain from any further slurping of the 2008-09 North Carolina Tar Heels basketball team.

If I created this device, would you want one too?

Ever since Tyler Hansbrough “shocked the world” by announcing he would return for yet another season in Chapel Hill, playing every game with his mouth open and no expression on his face, the media has officially awarded Roy Williams his second national championship trophy.

Every preview article I read has a section entitled “How Will Carolina NOT Win It All,” or “Five Ways Carolina Could NOT Win It All,” etc. etc. etc., blah blah blah.

Why even play out the season, right guys? Obviously no other team out there will be able to beat the Tar Heels. So I say we cancel the entire season, give UNC the title, and of course, give Hansbrough his second straight player of the year trophy.

OK, enough with the blatant sarcasm. Let me get real for a second or two.

First, the fact that Hansbrough decided to return for his senior season is not at all shocking. A) He hasn’t won the title yet, and B) He’s only 6'7"—he would get absolutely manhandled in the NBA, while being dunked on more than Shawn Bradley and Patrick Ewing put together.

Second, Ty Lawson is more overrated than mustard. He’s stubby, plain and simple. He is not a great shooter, either. When I watch Carolina play (which I will do my best to limit this season), I have never, ever, once thought, “Man, Lawson is sweet.” He has never done one thing that deserves a second look.

And last, this team just has too many of the same thing. Danny Green and Wayne Ellington may as well be the same person, except that Green isn’t good. Ellington can shoot, but he takes it to the hole weaker than Fabricio Oberto (not sure why I chose to use Oberto here—oh wait, yes I am…I hate him!).

So, in conclusion, yes, I admit this team is stacked. But plenty of stacked teams have lost in the NCAA Tournament—and most of them were coached by Roy Williams!

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written on November 19, 2008 Opinion

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