The Funniest and Dirtiest Athlete Names in Sports History

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The Funniest and Dirtiest Athlete Names in Sports History

Children can be very mean. The first thing that they have to look at and pick apart is a person’s name. They will be vicious and make you hate your parents for giving you even the most common of names.

They will call you "toilet" no matter how many times you yell, “That’s John with an "H"! There’s no "H" in my name!”


However, as bad as some people get made fun of for their names, athletes can have a much more difficult time since they are in the public eye.

Here is a list of some of the saddest and, therefore, most wonderful names in professional sports history (in no particular order):


- St. Louis Cardinals star Albert Pujols

     His name has the word poo in it. That’s awesome!

- Former Quebec goalie Ron Tugnutt

     Famous for his pinch and roll maneuver

- Olympic freestyle skier Assol Slivets

     No one streaked down the runs like she did

- Former MLB journeyman Homer Bush

     He was no stranger to rounding third

- Florida State receiver De’Cody Fagg

     His family is of English decent, where they are known as cigarettes

- Russian figure skater Irina Slutskaya

     Her maiden name was Tightknees

- Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus

     The guy is, like, 70 and I’m still scared to make a joke here

- Olympic basketball player Gregor Fucka

     Guess what his mom was called...

- Former University of San Francisco standout Chubby Cox

     That’s weird, I always thought that was just Wilt Chamberlain’s nickname

- Racing Legend Dick Trickle

     The first racer to be sponsored by a colostomy bag manufacturer

- Former MLB outfielder Johnny Dickshot

     Actually, a common name in 40s due to the Baby Boom

- Olympic swimmer Misty Hyman

      Wife of the lesser known swimmer, Kyle Foreskin


- Former Mariners pitcher Dick Pole

      [insert Beavis and Butthead laugh track here]

- Eastern Illinois linebacker Lucious Pusey

      Yes, this is real. No joke needed

- Former NFL free safety Harry Colon

      No word as to how much truth lies in his name because no one is willing to put in the research

- Former MLB utility player Pete LaCock

      Yes, his favorite meal is Le Big Mac

- Former standout Texas Longhorn receiver B.J. Johnson

      The first player in NCAA history to get a sexual harassment allegation for introducing     himself.

- Former Minnesota Twins outfielder Rusty Kuntz

      Oil can...oil can...

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