Children can be very mean. The first thing that they have to look at and pick apart is a person’s name. They will be vicious and make you hate your parents for giving you even the most common of names.
They will call you "toilet" no matter how many times you yell, “That’s John with an "H"! There’s no "H" in my name!”
However, as bad as some people get made fun of for their names, athletes can have a much more difficult time since they are in the public eye.
Here is a list of some of the saddest and, therefore, most wonderful names in professional sports history (in no particular order):
- St. Louis Cardinals star Albert Pujols
His name has the word poo in it. That’s awesome!
- Former Quebec goalie Ron Tugnutt
Famous for his pinch and roll maneuver
- Olympic freestyle skier Assol Slivets
No one streaked down the runs like she did
- Former MLB journeyman Homer Bush
He was no stranger to rounding third
- Florida State receiver De’Cody Fagg
His family is of English decent, where they are known as cigarettes
- Russian figure skater Irina Slutskaya
Her maiden name was Tightknees
- Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus
The guy is, like, 70 and I’m still scared to make a joke here
- Olympic basketball player Gregor Fucka
Guess what his mom was called...
- Former University of San Francisco standout Chubby Cox
That’s weird, I always thought that was just Wilt Chamberlain’s nickname
- Racing Legend Dick Trickle
The first racer to be sponsored by a colostomy bag manufacturer
- Former MLB outfielder Johnny Dickshot
Actually, a common name in 40s due to the Baby Boom
- Olympic swimmer Misty Hyman
Wife of the lesser known swimmer, Kyle Foreskin
- Former Mariners pitcher Dick Pole
[insert Beavis and Butthead laugh track here]
- Eastern Illinois linebacker Lucious Pusey
Yes, this is real. No joke needed
- Former NFL free safety Harry Colon
No word as to how much truth lies in his name because no one is willing to put in the research
- Former MLB utility player Pete LaCock
Yes, his favorite meal is Le Big Mac
- Former standout Texas Longhorn receiver B.J. Johnson
The first player in NCAA history to get a sexual harassment allegation for introducing himself.
- Former Minnesota Twins outfielder Rusty Kuntz
Oil can...oil can...