I have a very close friend that works for a casino. She tells me that at least every other day, they have to pull a person off the slot machine who urinates either on themselves or in one of the plastic cups intended to hold your money. Actually, now that I think about it, casinos have gone to a paper money system. Probably to cut down on the number of people using them as restrooms.
These gamblers would rather go to the bathroom in their chair than lose their spot. Some wear adult diapers for only that purpose. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
Don’t even get me started on casino attire either.
So………who’s up for betting on some college kids?
Like most of you, we will bet on the college games this week to tide us over for the pros. Unfortunately, opening week is not the best time to jump in with a full bankroll. I suggest keeping it on the light side this weekend but I’m going to guide you to the best bets. With some discipline, you’ll be able to fully fund the charity of your choice in no time.
Just kidding, you can spend it all on import beer and Madden ’12 (Get $5 off here!).
MISSISSIPPI STATE -27 @ Memphis – Full disclosure, I’m a MSU fan and will be at the game. This much I can tell you. I’m taking this line. Last year MSU beat Memphis 49 – 7. Memphis is projected to be worse, possibly the worst team in Division I. Mississippi State is ranked #20 and expected to be better than last season. Read the graffiti on the Memphis overpass.
FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL – 13.5 vs. North Texas – Man, nothing says getting ready for some big action like the Sun Belt. Don’t laugh, FIU is expected to dominate this season. Like a bully on the playground stealing lunch money, the North Texas Armadillos won’t know what hit them. Be that guy on Saturday that is waiting for Sun Belt updates on ESPN. I love that guy.
HOUSTON – 3 vs. UCLA – Houston get’s it’s all world QB back for a sixth season. UCLA has been a complete money burner under Rick Neuheisal. I know California gets hot but it is definitely not Houston hot. I get the feeling the country thinks UCLA will turn it around this season, I’m betting against it. Literally – said in my best Rob Lowe on Parks and Recreation voice.
FRESNO STATE +10 @ California – One has a coach that looks like a Bulldog. One doesn’t. Who do you want YOUR money on? Fresno traditionally holds it’s own against bigger conferences. I’ll take the ten points in a game they’ve had all offseason to prepare for.
ARKANSAS STATE +21 @ Illinios - I know a guy who once played at Arkansas State. He doesn’t have any inside information, in fact he’s a Hog fan. If he did, I’m sure he would tell me that his alma mater is a lock to stay within two touchdowns of a Big Ten school. They are borderline CUSA.
USC – 23 vs. Minnesota – Kinda liked this game and then I heard Colin Cowherd mention Minnesota as one of his big picks. If that doesn’t make this ironclad, I don’t know what does.
LSU +1.5 vs. Oregon – I understand your dilemma. Like the rest of the world, you hate LSU and their fans. I feel ya. Everyone feels the same. Despite the television show COPS camping out in Baton Rouge this offseason, I still think LSU wins. By dominating the line of scrimmage, it should be ugly but effective. I hope Les Miles brings his own chewing grass into JerryWorld.
That’s all I got this week. If you have any opinions or questions, feel free to leave them in the comments section or ask me on twitter @bryan_CTP.
Keep Grindin’ for your STATE.