The Dizzle Dozen: 12 Worst Catchphrases and One-Liners in Wrestling History
There have been "Best Catchphrases" lists here on Bleacher Report before, and there are plenty to choose from as favorites. One thing's for sure; there will never be another Rock on the mic.
But I thought I'd take a look at the other end of the spectrum.
We here on B/R are no strangers to bad one-liners. Does "Thanks for commenting" or "Stay on topic" ring a bell? Yeah, we're very familiar. So I listed what I thought are/were the worst signature taglines in the world of pro-wrestling, in no particular order.
Juventud Guerrera: Can You Smell It?
There really is nothing worse than just completely ripping off someone else's gimmick.
That's exactly what Juventud "The Juice" Guerrera did when he jacked, not one, but TWO of the Rock's famous lines.
1- "Finally, the Juice has come back to [insert city]"
2- "If you smelllllll what the Juice is cookin'!"
It's no surprise that an act like this could pass in WCW, which was losing horribly in the Monday night wars when The Juice showed up on the scene. The company was at a loss in the originality and creativity department by this time.
The Miz: I'm Awesome
Speaking of creativity, Mike Mizanin's "I'm the Miz, and I'm Awesome!" line is just completely devoid of inspiration. It shows the weakness of character development in the "PG-era" when a line like this is one of the more popular ones.
Really, Miz? Really?
I actually do like the "Really?" bit.
Konnan: Arriba La Raza
Back to WCW we go. Konnan was atrocious.
I could never make out much of what he was saying (you can hear it for yourself here), but from the parts I could understand, it seemed like he—much like another wrestler who will appear on this list—had an affinity for jacking lines from a popular fourth-rate Dirty South rapper.
"Bowdy bowdy and rowdy rowdy"? His speech was cloudy cloudy at best.
Bubba Ray was the heavy lifter of the Dudley Boyz in the promo department. D-Von would finish the segment with an "Oh, my brother, testify!"
Unfortunately for D-Von, Vince took this line and formed a gimmick around it, making D-Von some sort of clergyman after the Dudleys split up.
Getting stuck with a gimmick like that is anything but divine providence, Amen?
Bret "Hitman" Hart: The Best There Is, Blah Blah....
I'm prepared to catch flak for this one.
I can't deny that the "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be" line received a pop from the crowd.
But I maintain that the only reason the crowd would cheer is because they knew that when they heard this send-off, it was the end of one of the Hitman's awful promos.
Seriously, he sucked on the mic.
Val Venis: "Hellooooo, Ladies!"
The Old Federation was beating up on WCW late into the Monday night wars, and part of the reason was because the Attitude Era had a little something for everybody. The Big Valbowski was that something for the women.
He'd show up in his towel, presumably after wrapping the shoot on his 800th adult film, and swoon the female audience with his porn-star panting, and breaking the ice with a "Hello, Ladies!"
I, personally, couldn't stand it.
Scott Steiner: Konnan's Study Partner
When it came to catchphrases, Big Poppa Pump and Konnan drew from the same well, that well being southern rapper Master P.
While Konnan only borrowed a couple words (bout it/bowdy), Steiner went ahead and jacked an entire line of lyrics with his "Big Poppa Pump is your hook-up. Holla if you hear me!"
I'm guessing that "hook-up" Steiner was referring to was his steroid dealer.
R-Truth: How Are Ya?
Actually, it's "What's up?"
Upon his return to the WWE, Killings would enter the arena through the audience, rapping with "What's up?" as the hook to his theme.
It was a novelty line, but nothing that could bolster his gimmick to make him come off as a legit threat to the main event like an Austin or Rock line, and it died out pretty quickly.
I'm glad he's done a 180 on this and changed it to "You suck!" while addressing the audience to make his presence felt in the upper-echelon of the WWE roster.
John Cena: Can You See Me Now?
This popular line is accompanied by a wave across the face. It's mimicked in popular culture, and by little Jimmies all across the world.
And I can't stand it.
Alright, I'm man enough to admit that there is a little resentment tucked underneath my disdain for this little charade. Mr. Thuganomics himself has become a household name, having started out as a token white rapper and evolving(?) into whatever the John Cena persona has become now.
I can't help wonder if the "You can't see me" tag would be as widely known and emulated if R-Truth, another hip-hop gimmick, had employed it.
Wait, I don't have to wonder. The answer is NO. Why? Read my last article.
D'Lo Brown: You Better Recognize!
If you made a list of the top 3 D'Lo Brown marks of all time, The Dizzle would secure the top spot. From the head-bob arm-swing entrance, to the finishing Lo-Down, no one enjoyed a D'Lo Brown match more than I.
But his catchphrase during his promos left a little to be desired. While I would crack up when he told his foes "You better recognize!" it simply did not get over whatsoever with the crowd.
The Godfather: Climb Aboard
After his stint as one of the N.O.D.'s angry black man's club members, Charles Wright slipped right into The Godfather character, which was WWE stereotyping at its most insensitive. And Wright was all too enthusiastic to play along.
Parading around as a pimp, and inviting the WWE universe to ride the "Hoooooo Train!" (chuga-chuga choo-choo), The Godfather's visibility ended with his promos, as he was nothing more than one of the most colorful jobbers in WWE history.
Jeff Jarrett: Scripps Spelling Bee Champion
We'll never forget his name, no matter how hard we try.
In case we did, Double J would refresh our memory by spelling it out for us;
"J E double-F, J A double-R E double-T"
As a founder of TNA, Jarrett will make sure we remember he S-U-C-K-S, although I guess the reason for making sure we knew his name was so that we wouldn't mistake him for Ric Flair or the Honky Tonk Man, since he stole pieces of their gimmicks (Flair's strut and Tonk's guitar smash).
Did I forget anybody? Do you disagree with this list? Let me know in the comments!
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