LA Angels Trade Ideas: 3 Waiver Deals To Help Them Pass the Rangers

Luke JohnsonContributor IIIAugust 22, 2011

LA Angels Trade Ideas: 3 Waiver Deals To Help Them Pass the Rangers

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    Yea, yea, yea, so what if the trade deadline passed. It's not as if Jose Reyes was on the radar or anything.

    And even if he was who wants to take on a once-in-a-lifetime franchise face with a fine set of tight knitted braids? Not me; I'm perfectly content with our dysfunctional lineup.

    If the Halos were a golf pro we'd resemble the drunken overweight caricature of John Daly. If we were an actor our body is the loose flab of Chris Farley and our mind, the brittleness of Vin Diesel.

    Even better, is the art of getting things scott free, right?

    Though Arte is a wheeler dealer, why not rip off the waiver wires to close the disturbing gap between the Halo and AL West leading Texas?

    Now that the Aramis Ramirez, Reyes and Cuddyer talks ended, we might as well give in and let go when it comes to our playoff success.

    I know... I'm a cynical contrarian, but who can blame me?

    Considering the poor performance last series against the Rangers—one in which the Rangers calmly stole three of four, solidifying their bend toward playoff success—things this year are beginning to embody the story of Sylvester Stallone in the first Rocky.

    As inspirational as we've been all year, winning games with the admirable small ball, reality says otherwise—that Hercules will always outlast sling shooting David, even if the act of divinity is upon him.

    Despite this rant, there are three players I recommend we steal in order to make things a tad more interesting.

Chris Capuano, SP, 9-11, 4.71 ERA

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    NO! Chris Capuano is not a head turner.

    His stats are like Jonah Hill handsome. But even Jonah, as a fifth go-to guy in a fluorescent club could swing something, sometimes.

    Since the les miserable of once enticingly brilliant Joe Saunders and the flunking philosophy of Scott Kazmyrnism (meaning: underachieving at point of impact), the lone sense of lack in the Angels rotation is a lefty doer, a guy who can situate himself as the fifth starter and not utterly blow games.

    Capuano could be the temperate, low paying answer ($1.5 million salary in 2012) for now and for quite a steal.

    The 6'3" 12-to-6 curve ball maestro may be only 9-11 with a four-plus ERA, but his 2.8 strikeout to walk ratio is a plus, not to mention his consistent ability to eat up innings.

    Considering all the Angels have is a rotational armada, why not create an even stronger sense of comfort come September? Or hopefully, October?

Hideki "Godzilla" Matsui, DH & LF, .265, 11 HR, 65 RBI

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    If Hideki Matsui is to live up to his name, he'll need a hot tub time machine to travel to 2005 with the Yankees, when he hit .305 with 23 home runs and 116 RBI, before thrusting himself back into the present day.

    Last season the pull hitting lefty, swung pale and mocked the Angels with a conduit of memories: days of high average seasons in the Bronx, days of hitting the ball out, days of consistency and a batters' respect.

    It wasn't as if Godzilla was poor last season.

    He hit a respectable .274 with 21 home runs. But the expectations were played in a grand Tony Reagins step-slide decent: high regard and a high ceiling lending itself to the summation: disappointment.

    Nonetheless, now that we expect little and have little: have you looked at the combined hitting average of our go-to-power Hunter/Wells combo lately? What could we lose?

    The two franchise faces are either losing their sight to a derelicts demise or trying out for roles on the Bad News Bears sequel: Never too Old, the Return of Bad News on the Bad Bears.

    Jest aside, Matsui is a left handed power bat whose ability to DH lends a hand to an already overstocked outfielding core.

    His surge in the latter parts of the season is commendable and so is his low price tag, owed close to $2 million the rest of the year and a free agent at season's end.

Alfonso Soriano, 2nd Base & LF, .241, 20 HR, 58 RBI

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    Have you ever watched Cirque de Soleil?

    A diatribe of gifted circus maestros spin and walk tightropes like Jesus on a sea of water. It's beautiful. Like watching an art show layered with a Kaleidoscope of colors they whirl, dip and spin around one another with little room for error.

    My point is this: I know the name above makes most of you cringe probably sending a chill down your spine and that light edge at the toes like the feeling of a limb falling asleep. It's uncomfortable and rightfully so.

    But four games back of Texas, routed in our recent four game set with the AL West leaders and beginning to look haggard and tired, at just 5-5 in our last 10, I believe we're fanning out.

    Small ball is like a lake run dry, our ship is trying to sail, but can't, as it waddles in mounds of desert sand.

    In a division run by a powerhouse offense and an American League of a DH depth, shoring up the bat situation ASAP is not an option, it's about survival. And a Cirque de Soleil risk-like move is of the essence.

    Our offensive buoyancy is disturbing.

    We need power hitting now and someone who can give us the gift of the long ball to help drive our offensive numbers to at least an average par level and get others the needed pitches to hit.

    Despite Soriano being owed $58.35 million through 2014, his infatuation with striking out, playing poor uninspired defense and an aloof irreconcilable attitude, the man would automatically bolster our lineup.

    Even better?

    According to John Hayman's notes on twitter, the Cubs are willing to pay a "major, major chunk" of the money owed the 35-year-old veteran.

    If anything, using the Cubs offer to pay his salary does one of two things.

    One, it relieves the anxiety in the Angels front office of taking on such a hefty contract for a player currently hitting .241 and two, makes him tradeable in the future if he does not pan out the way the Angels would like.

    I say let the dice roll for a shot at playing in October.