PG: Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
I could have a field day discussing at great lengths Jose Calderon's beyond terrible D, but I'll let his game do the talking there. He would really be considered elite at the position if he knew how to move his feet. Watching him try to play defense is like watching a Ke$ha music video—it's that painful.
SG: Corey Maggette, Milwaukee Bucks (now the Charlotte Bobcats)
Corey Maggette literally does not give any sort of effort with his lateral quickness and defense. He is sort of like the anti-Dwyane Wade in that aspect. It's safe to say that the Bobcats will immediately regret bringing his talents to Charlotte. In related news, Manute Bol blocked more than 25 times as many shots per 48 minutes than the worthless Corey.
SF: Hedo Turkoglu, Orlando Magic
Hedo Turkoglu is a terrible defensive player; there's really no way around it. He's not quick, he can't defend and he sure as heck cannot rebound. Sometimes, I think he's thinking about picking lilies rather than focusing on basketball. If teammate Dwight Howard's low post moves are more jaw-dropping than the first minute of a racy Katy Perry music video, then Turkoglu's are about as mind-numbing as a Betty White feature in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
PF: Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
Kevin Love is an amazing rebounder; make no mistake about it. The part he struggles with is what to do beyond crashing the boards. The 6'10" UCLA product will be taken more seriously If he improves his defense, and in doing so, he can become a legitimate starter in the All-Star Game. Since he plays for the T'Wolves (ironically, my favorite team), that's about all there is to say in regards to achievements.
C: Andrea Bargnani, Toronto Raptors
If Andrea Bargnani still plays defense, then I'm 100 percent Polish. I seriously think that any Joe off the street (how about me for that matter?) could do a better job guarding an NBA player than the former number one overall pick. That being said, Bargs would beat me soundly in a pickup game of one-on-one because I'm the Michael Jordan of bad defenders. Andrea's a close second.
Sixth Man: Charlie Villanueva, PF, Detroit Pistons