Kris Humphries: Kim Kardashian Picked Perfect Man to Play Groom

With carefully-moussed hair, and a deep-V shirt that is worth more than my car, Kris Humphries sits, writing for the big day. He is the perfect person to marry Kim Kardashian, because he knows his place, which is just behind her.

The future Mr. Kim Kardashian is well on his way to matrimony. There is only a few days left of bachelorhood, so he decided to get one last breath of fresh air recently.

People Magazine caught Humphries in "the act." By that, they mean he was enjoying a Champagne & Caviar party with five of his guy friends in SkyBar at L.A.'s Mondrian Hotel. Yes, if you really want to bro out, you must frequent a Champagne and Caviar party.

The report paints a cool and collected picture of Humphries, and he is. The man is quick with a joke, but hardly the center of attention.

He could very well shine in what ever reality show the producers at E! drum up after the wedding. More likely though, he will be background noise for the relationships real star, Kim Kardashian.

I hate to trivialize something as sacred as marriage, but my hand has been forced by circumstances. Those circumstances are the pomp that surrounds the most public marriage since the Royal Wedding.

This weekend, cameras will be rolling for the future airing of the famous nuptials. If you want overkill, stick around on October 9th and 10th for all four hours of coverage on E!.

There will be something quite evident in the presentation, there is Kim Kardashian, and everyone else. It is a good thing that Humphries is not a bellowing man with a brutish voice, because that simply wouldn't work in the script we have all been given.

There is just one star in this fairytale, and all others must take notice. We will have a TV show to shoot this weekend, um, I mean wedding, and we must not forget the roles.

The part of the husband will be played by Kris Humphries. Please do not get overexcited if you know him. It will only be a supporting role at best.