Jim: Ed, you just led the Dallas Cowboys to a Super Bowl victory, and you managed to not crap yourself. How do you feel?
Me: First off, praise be to Djemba. Well, we left it all out on the field today. I brought my A game. They thought they had the blueprint to beat us, but at the end of the day, it is what it is.
Jim: What the hell did you just say to me?
Me: Look, I knew if we just played our game and took it one game at a time, we'd be just fine. I mean, I'm a football player. My physicality is impregnable. I'm Batman, they're Robin. It is what it is.
Jim: I don't follow.
Me: It was us against the world, baby. But we played our game. We executed the game plan. You know, it's a war out there. I'm a soldier. I came to play.
Jim: I hate you so much right now.
Me: Oh, there's a lot of hate out here. It's a hostile environment. But we came in and got the win. Couldn't have written a better script.
Jim: Your teammates say you're the first guy in and the last guy out. Any truth to that?
Me: Well, I got to give it 110 percent, you know? We're out here to make a statement. I mean, not to take anything away from them, they played a great game, but, you know, I'll carry this team on my back when I need to. Literally.
Jim: I really doubt that. Some called you a Cinderella team, being the No. 6 seed.
Me: Yeah, I heard about Cinderella-gate—
Me: You know it's clever. Look, we were what our record said we were, but I'm a superstar—they can't contain me. They said it would be a trap game, but we came in and shocked the world. Our backs were against the wall, but we knew it was a must win, so I put on a clinic.
Jim: Sounds like you had a chip on your shoulder.
Me: Yeah, these two teams don't like each other. But I'm just glad I took my talents to the Super Bowl.
Jim: Go to hell.
Me: You too.