Notes on a cocktail napkin while cursing the first of two bye weeks in the Canadian Football League...

Yes, I understand that football players need a respite during their 18-game, four-month grind. The large lads take a fearsome beating, some more than others. There are wounds to lick. Batteries to recharge. Families to visit.

So I get it. The reasons for half the league shutting down are valid.

But when we're left with the B.C. Lions, Saskatchewan Roughriders, Toronto Argonauts and Edmonton Eskimos to entertain us, the bye week sucks.

Seriously. The Leos, 'Riders and Boatmen can't lick their lips. Combined, they're 3-18 this season. The Eskimos, meanwhile, showed considerable pulse in their early skirmishing, but then they met up with a couple of teams (Winnipeg Blue Bombers and Montreal Alouettes) that can actually chew gum and walk at the same time. Result: two drubbings.

Thus, while the Bombers, Als, Calgary Stampeders and Hamilton Tiger-Cats are frolicking hither and yon this week, we are left with bottom-feeding football: 'Riders vs. Argos and Lions vs. Esks. Or, to put it numerically, 1-6 vs. 1-6 and 1-6 vs. 5-2.

Stop my racing heart.

I mean, this is the equivalent of dumpster diving behind the local fast-food joint for your next meal. Anyone for a half-eaten Big Mac and cold fries?

I might just make this my personal bye week.

Don't compare Calvillo to NFL greats:

You'll have to excuse me if I squirt a bit of rain on Anthony Calvillo's parade.

Make no mistake that I harbor considerable admiration for the Alouettes' quarterback, who, by the time this season concludes, will hold every significant CFL passing record. That's no small feat for a guy who broke into the league with a team (the Las Vegas Posse) that vanished faster than summer wages and played before audiences numbering as few as 2,350 people.

Calvillo is, by all accounts, a person of tall timber who has overcome serious personal difficulties and is worthy of the considerable accolades being hurled his way.

So good for him.

Having said that, can we please stop mentioning him in the same breath as Warren Moon, Brett Favre and Dan Marino?

Yes, AC has hurled 400 TD passes, a milestone he reached last week. Unfortunately, dispatches made reference to the fact he, Moon, Favre and Marino are the only QBs in pro football history with 400 or more TD tosses.

I cringe when I read that sort of stuff.

By evoking the names of Moon, Favre and Marino, you invite a silly debate over the merits of the CFL vs. the NFL. You simply cannot compare Calvillo's achievements, nor parallel them, with those of Moon, Favre and Marino. Different leagues (although Moon also played in the CFL), different rules, two different beasts.

Think about it this way. Does anyone think Bruce Boudreau was a better hockey player than Guy Lafleur? The very thought is absurd. Yet Boudreau finished his pro career with more points than The Flower, 1,447-1,353. The rub, of course, is that the bulk of Gabby's work came at the minor pro level.

Same as Calvillo. Agree or not, the CFL is a league lower than the NFL.

Could Calvillo be a starting QB in the NFL today? No. Could he have been a starting QB in the NFL at any point in his career? No.

Anthony Calvillo is a CFL legend. Let's leave it at that, because that's good enough for me.

Did Buono's best-before date expired?

Exactly when did Wally Buono stop being a genius? Does anyone keep track of that sort of thing? 

I recall when Cal Murphy became an un-genius. It was Nov. 10, 1996, when kindly coach Cal's Blue Bombers were eviscerated 68-7 by the Eskimos in a West Division joust at Commonwealth Stadium.

But I can't pinpoint the moment Buono became an un-genius. Maybe it was the day the Lions coach/GM anointed Jacques Chapdelaine as his offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach. Perhaps it was the day he cut Buck Pierce adrift.

Whatever the case, with the Leos at 1-6, Buono does a real good job of standing on the sidelines with his arms folded and chewing on his lower lip. And little else.

And finally...

Rod Black has stuck his foot in it again. Two weeks ago, the TSN gab guy advised us that Milt Stegall was the man who "made the Bombers famous." As if. Last weekend, Blackie told his audience that big Angelo Mosca "made football famous in these here parts (Hamilton)."

He did nothing of the sort.

If anything, big Angie is infamous for the cheap shot that knocked B.C.'s fabulous running back Willie Fleming out of the 1963 Grey Cup game.