Jonah Lomu might be the most horrifying person ever to play a recreational game. That picture is Lomu years after retirement following multiple kidney surgeries. I would feel threatened if I was bowling next to Lomu three lanes down.
Lomu revolutionized the game of rugby, standing in at 6'5", 275 lbs and running a 100 meter that many NFL receivers would be jealous of, Jonah Lomu was the closest thing a man could have to getting hit by a bus and surviving.
Adding to his terrifying size and speed were his complementary tree trunk legs that resemble the torso of Treebeard from the The Lord of the Rings, and the kind of killer instinct that would make a hunting lodge for Great White's envious.
At one point, numerous NFL teams offered Lomu large contracts to play in the States, as he possessed the speed of a halfback and the size of a defensive end.
He also had the responsibility each rugby player has in playing on both sides of the ball at any given moment, making Jonah a lock starter at almost any position should he have made the jump to American football.
Lomu played on the wing, and after his emergence as the best athlete of all time, many teams at every level of rugby started experimenting with big wingers.
In one rampage for the try zone, Lomu could sidestep one defender, smash another and sprint away from the next fastest guy before anyone had a chance to muster the courage to face him.
One of the great players of all time, Australian scrum-half George Gregan will always be remembered for simply tackling Lomu by himself. Along with his incredible running skills was an equally aggressive defensive game and a light offensive kicking game with which he often employed in numerous occasions.
Lomu lost out to the South African Springboks in the fabled 1995 post-Apartheid cup with which Invictus was based off of. Kidney issues sidelined him for years.
He has represented the state of Florida as a high school All-Star, having scored on many teams across the state. I find it safe to say that even at my level of rugby. I feel that Jonah Lomu could legitimately kill me with ball in hand.
Was that poof ball haircut satirical? Lomu would be the scariest man to walk into a bar if he wore a wedding dress.
Never heard of him? Here are a few choice cuts from a career in mayhem.