At Auburn, There's Stupid and REALLLLLLLLLLLLY Stupid

Larry BurtonSenior Writer INovember 10, 2008

Breaking news sports fans.  Yes!  Things can get worse at Auburn!

Everyone knows that Tommy Tuberville is suffering from a severe case of stupid this season.  First of all, he he promises recruits he's committed to the spread offense.  Then he hires a spread offense coordinator, next he fires the same coordinator, then abandons the spread.

In the process of doing this, he drives Auburn to its worst season in years with no apparent bowl game in sight.  Recruits and players are mad.  Alumni and Board members are mad.  Fans are downright mad.

But this pales in comparison to the lessons Tuberville obviously failed to teach his players during any number of years that senior Brad Lester has been there. 

Lesson one: Don't shoot your mouth off and provide bulletin board material.

Lesson two:  Lesson one is TWICE as important when you can't back it up.

Apparently, Tuberville not only failed to pass these little nuggets along to his terrible Tigers, but apparently even provided a stage for Lester to spout off the following little ditties.

"It's a disappointing season, but we feel like we can make up for our season by winning these last two," Lester said. "If we win these last two games, it won't be as bad."

Really Dr. Lester,,, winning these games won't be as bad as losing them?  Are you majoring in rocket science?

But then he continues, "I have no doubt in my mind," Lester said. "We should beat both teams by a good amount of points. I feel real good about it."

A good amount of points?  You could average all the points scored by Auburn against teams you've played in the SEC you're achieving a staggering 13 points a game.  Yet somehow against MUCH better defenses you're going to beat them by a large number of points?

Does Dr. Lester believe that either Georgia, who averages over 32 points per game or Alabama which averages over 31 points a game, will simply stop scoring because you say so? 

We can only assume that both teams will score so Professor Lester must assume that Auburn will light it up and score, say 50 or more points against one of the best defenses in the nation.  Hmmmm.... Score three against MSU but you're planning on a 50+ point production against Alabama, because you said, "by a good amount of points."

Well Tommy, if things weren't bad enough on The Plains, now you have to figure out a way to back up your star's public prediction.  All you have to do quadruple your offense point output against better a better defense than you've faced all year.

Oh yeah, and you have to do it without an offensive coordinator and a QB that can't find the end zone with a map.  I'm sure the Board and Alumni are proud of you having everything under control and how you're on top of your players during this time of crisis.

I guess with some teams the acorn really doesn't fall from the tree.  At Auburn, this surely seems the case.


Brad Lester of course was proved wrong in the first game of his two game prediction.  Not only did Auburn lose, but they didn't even score more than 13 in doing so.  It is MY predection that Dr. Lester will keep his mouth shut tight against Alabama.