Eli Manning Injured...Or Not

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Eli Manning Injured...Or Not
BREAKING NEWS!

It has just been reported that Eli Manning was seen with a Band-Aid on his right index finger.

Yes, you heard me correctly–Eli cut his finger.

Although he could not be reached for comment, a spokesperson for the Giants released the following statement:

“Eli was injured late last night while attempting to make a paper airplane that would fly further than his brother Peyton’s. The paper in question sliced his index finger, causing it to bleed. Despite the injury, Eli still managed to fly his plane the furthest.” 

The big question on everyone’s mind is obvious: How did Eli manage to beat Peyton in a paper airplane flying contest?

The spokesperson would not reveal the exact details of Eli’s plane. Peyton also refused to respond.

 

THIS JUST IN!

Less than one hour ago, Eli Manning was seen coming out of the grocery store with a Band-Aid on his right ring finger. What about his index finger, you ask? No sign of any injury.

Was Eli playing a trick on us all? Perhaps he was jealous of Tom Brady’s boot. Whatever the reason, it is clear that Eli is not, in fact, a superior paper airplane constructor.

 

What does this mean for the Super Bowl this Sunday? Probably nothing, but we need something to talk about until then.

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