Nikolai Valuev and the Unlucky 13 Ugliest Boxers of All Time
Boxers are not known for their dashing good looks, but there are some fighters who are straight-up offensive-looking.
Watching a fight with a fighter that appears to have taken one too many shots to the face can get you rooting for the fighter opposite the dog-faced opponent quicker than a standing eight count.
Here is Nikolai Valuev and the unlucky group of 13 that are included in the list of boxing's most disturbing-looking fighters throughout its rich history.
Note: This article is meant to be fun; don't take it too seriously.
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Bernard Hopkins is a great fighter and had an incredible career thus far, not having to worry about his looks really paying off, as Hopkins looks like a mascara-wearing homeless person.
Sure, Hopkins is an older fighter at 45 years old, but he looks far beyond his age, looking more like a 65-year-old former fighter.
Hopkins must know that he doesn't posses dashing good looks, as he wears a mask to the ring, to save the general public from seeing his face when he walks to the ring pre-fight.
Leon Spinks is a legend in the ring, but that doesn't mean he isn't one funny-looking dude.
With teeth so big, it appears that he would have no problem biting through almost anything, and could have played Jaws in the 007 movie The Spy Who Loved Me, and wouldn't need the steel dentures the actor Richard Kiel wore during the filming of the movie.
Andrew Golota is known for his questionable actions inside the ring, and his neanderthal-looking self outside of the ring.
Golota looks like a science experiment gone bad, almost looking like Frankenstein minus the green skin.
If he needs a new job after his boxing career, one of the movie studios should keep him in mind when they make one of their awful horror movie remakes, and make Golota the starring role in the newest Frankenstein movie.
Lamon Brewster is known for being the last fighter to beat Wladimir Klitschko back in 2004, but his career's best win can't hide the fact that he has an odd look to his face.
He has a wired characteristic of looking like a baby-faced guy on a heavyweight body frame. Sure some people who are known for their looks when they are called baby face, but not in this case.
It looks odd as he doesn't have the smooth wrinkle-free skin that most people think about when they think baby face; he just has a weird, too-young-for-his-body thing going, and it is ugly as it is strange.
Riddick Bowe had a storied career, going out on top of his game having only lost one fight his entire 19-year boxing career, but would lose almost every fight if it were based off looks.
Bowe's face resembles a bulldog more than a human, and he could have had a career competing in dog shows—well, at least the ugliest dog contests.
Even though his appearance was canine-esque, Bowe defiantly had more bite than he did bark in the ring.
The often-overweight James Toney could have played the role of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the 1980s movie Ghostbusters.
Just add 20 feet and a sailor cap and he would fit the bill, without much help needed.
Fernando Vargas looks more like an alien than anything from earth.
The troubled fighter says he is from Oxnard, CA, but if he is from anywhere on earth, it seems that Area 51 fits him more.
The Martian-looking fighter definitely didn't have any special alien powers in the ring, as his career flatlined in 2007 after three consecutive losses.
Maybe now that he is not in boxing anymore he can take up work as an alien in one of Hollywood's latest sci-fi flicks.
Evander Holyfield is a boxer that has taken several too many punches during his career and his face is showing it.
His face has become more and more disfigured as his career has gone on, and it is evident now that he should no longer be allowed in the ring as a boxer.
His skills have greatly diminished, meaning he will take even more hits in the ring, and could end up looking far more disturbing than he already does.
Peter Manfredo came to fame on the boxing reality show The Fighter; lucky for him he had the boxing skills to be on TV, as his face doesn't even have the face to be on radio.
If the Lord of the Rings movie franchise ever needs a replacement for Frodo Baggins, Manfredo would be their man (or creature).
As popular and marketable as Manny Pacquiao is at the moment, his looks have definitely played no part in landing him his endorsement deals.
Pacquiao looks like a human catfish—one that would put up a hell of a fight if you tried to reel him in.
Luckily for us, Pacquiao is human and gives us great fights every time he steps into the ring. Just keep Pac-Man out of the water as some fisherman might mistake him for a giant catfish.
The journeyman Mexican fighter definitely looks like he fought every one of his 98 fights in his long boxing career.
Paez always seemed to have a screw loose in his head, which made him looked like he was confused most of the time.
I have never seen a fighter's determined face look like someone just asked him to answer the Final Jeopardy question.
Iran Barkley could appear in the next Friday movie franchise flick as the father of the infamously ugly Debo.
Although he isn't quit the size Debo is, he posses the same monstrous-looking face that might even scare Debo himself.
Just don't let Barkley get his hands on Craig, as he would be the one who gets knocked out next.
With the 1980s movie The Goonies rumored to be the next '80s film to be remade, the producers will have to look no further than Nikolai Valuev to star in the movie as Sloth, the Baby Ruth-eating creature.
Just slap a Superman T-shirt on the 7'2" monster and not much else work would be necessary to re-create the classic character from a classic movie that has gained quite the cult following over the years.
Just imagine 20 more years down the line, kids could be wearing clever shirts sporting Valuev's face as he too could achieve a cult following if he was chosen to bring the legend of Sloth back for a new generation to enjoy.