Men love women in golf shirts and tennis skirts.
At some point between the time Hugh Hefner got into the publishing game and Madonna started cavorting around in see-through clothing, someone decided that the best way to market women's sports to men would not be "on the merits," so to speak, but rather by having the female athletes pose in sexy magazines and appear on television shows in ordinary, sexy outfits.
But when it comes to tennis and golf, there is no need. Tennis and golf uniforms bring the sexy.
But which sport brings the sexy more?
Let's have a look at the sexiest female golfers and tennis players, and you be the judge.
Both sports do an excellent job of accentuating the female form, as in this shot of Agnes Szavay an instant before she strikes the tennis ball to set another point in motion.
Here, Amber Prange strikes a post-tee shot pose that would have been the subject of Renaissance sculpture, had golf been played in Northern Italy in the time of Michelangelo, Donatello and Verrochio.
It is an idealized female form.
Of course, photography does not do these sports or these athletes justice.
For example, in this shot is Agnieszka Radwanska in action, or is she waiting for the action to begin again?
Here, Anje Monke sizes up her next shot, bending at an almost precision perfect 90 degree angle in order to make sure that her perspective on the ball is equally precise and perfect.
Of course, golfers and tennis players deserve time away from the greens and the courts.
It is important that athletes get to pursue extracurricular activities.
For example, here Ana Ivanovic indulges in a little "lean against the wall and smile" time.
So, too, does Ashley Gomes make sure she has time to herself, as she plays her favorite game, "arch my back against my golf club to accentuate my boobs while I smile."
Everyone has a hobby.
Not every shot is a thing of beauty.
Daniella Hantuchova remains a lovely girl in this picture, but snapped at just the right time, she is all legs, arms and fingers.
Not a bad thing, I guess.
Okay, Belinda, you've pushed your envelope. We've included you in the slideshow.
But one question:
Is that really your head, or has it been superimposed on someone else's body?
As to your body, same question, only in reverse.
That's right, Flavia, get yours.
While it may look like Flavia Pennetta is celebrating a point in this shot, she is actually threatening a streaking spectator back into the stands with the promise of a swift uppercut.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
That's Yeats. Yeats.
But it is applicable here to golf's lovely Cristie Kerr.
Elena Dementieva is lovely.
She also has a name that makes her sound like a villainous professor of the Dark Arts in a Harry Potter novel.
She's a lovely girl.
This shot is a little big Jersey Shore for my taste, and appears to be a Lexus ad, but I won't hold that against her.
Non-pleated tennis mini-skirt, slightly arched stance, hair in a loose bun/pony tail, white wrist band.
This is how classic meets hot.
How do you know Maria Verchenova is truly lovely?
Because she is smoking a long-sleeve black top.
But again, do not fail to notice what a classic body position her golf swing has placed her into.
Aren't tennis action shots kinda funny?
Here, Sabine Lisicki is clearly hitting the ball straight down while also doing some sort of karate chop with here other hand.
Amazingly, she manages to still look hot despite these two things.
This shot is from when Kate Combes appeared in "Survivor: Jungle Golf Edition."
A very sweet, lovely girl with a very pretty face.
And that same "let me arch my back against my racket to see if it will enhance my boobs" pose.
Paula Marti looks bummed in this shot.
Even when bummed, she's lovely.
I sense, though, that this club is about to end up six inches deep in the ground.
A vision in blue, Tatiana Golovin is about to demonstrate the collision between feminine beaty, which is her outward appearance, and vicious competitiveness, as her racket whirls around and crushes the soon-to-arrive tennis ball.
Sophie Sandalo is not only a golfer but also (apparently) a jockey as well.
Which is odd, because she looks way too tall to be a jockey.
The female form-flattering aspects of this stance are self-explanatory.
Both of them.
Perry Swenson, the classy lady of the golf world.
Based on looks alone, Amy Poehler will be playing her in the Lifetime Original Movie about her life.
A great shot by the photographer and a great shot by Kim Clijsters.
I haven't been able to get into that position since the Reagan Administration.
Kim Hall, of course, looks amazing in this bikini.
She is pouting, though, because the LPGA drew a line in the sandtrap when Hall tried to wear this to an LPGA event.
Another aspect of these tennis action shots is that they give you a great demonstration of how fast the action is taking place.
Here, Sorano Mihaela's eyes are not on the ball, and her racket is about to hit the ball straight up.
But in another instant, everything will come together, and Mihaela will smash the ball back at her opponent.
Or maybe I am assuming things I shouldn't, and she is actually terrible.
Anna Rawson is the queen of hot golfer pictures.
Here, she demonstrates how to tee up a golf ball in the middle of the street. While wearing high heels. And staring at the camera. With her underwear showing.
You're loving it.
The shorts could revolutionize the sport of tennis and, indeed, the world.
The secret to women finally achieving full equality may lie in these shorts and the effect they could have on the male population of the world.
That Natalie Gulbis is hot is, at this point, unquestioned.
What remains to be found out, though, is whether she realized the camera was pointed at her before she decided that she needed to do a little club-behind-the-back stretching.
Again, the instant before the overhead serve presents us with a classic rendering of the female form.
I sure do hope that thing sticking out of her left hip is a tennis ball.
Otherwise, she should definitely have that thing checked out.
Paula Creamer is pretty in pink and has been classing up golf courses for over 10 years, has 11 wins in the bag and has been as high as No. 2 in the world.
And, she's pretty hot.
Lovely girl, lovely bossom, lovely pose.
She appears to be having trouble seeing, though.
Might need some glasses.
Pop quiz: why is this picture better than the one of Anna Rawson?
Answer: because of the fact that she is sinking her tee into grass.
Far more realistic.
Now, dig those heels into the sod and tee off.
If you look up "cute picture of a tennis player" in the dictionary, you'll see this picture.
Or is it, if you look up "picture of a cute tennis player?"
Okay, how about, "cute picture of a cute tennis player."
Yes, that works.
A lovely girl and a lovely picture.
Only criticism: if she was not holding a golf club, we would not know she is a golfer.
In our 21st century America, we know that sex can be dominant.
Of course, as we have learned from the likes of Serena Williams, dominance is also sexy.
Man, this picture almost works.
Don't get me wrong: love the cleavage, love the golf ball, love the heels, love the glasses in the mouth, love it all.
But what's up with the laptop?
You're going for "sexy golfer" not "sexy secretary."
Get to your room!
How hot does that trash can behind Dominika Cibulkova make her look?
How gross does Dominika Cibulkova make that trash can look?
This is obviously a candid from afar.
When it comes to approaches that cause you to show a little belly, a little is all you need.
Totally cute, totally sexy.
One could imagine this photograph being made into a painting and being hung in the Louvre.
It showcases hotness (lovely tan skin against lovely skin-tight white tennis outfit) but also athleticism, as Gisella Dulko extends her frame to get an ever-so-slightly out of reach tennis ball.
How tall is she, anyway?
Took me a minute to find the golf club in this picture.
And the lighting is kind of bizarre.
But is Beatriz Recari cute or what?
Caroline Wozniacki is currently No. 1 on the WTA tour—the first Dutch woman ever to accomplish that feat.
She also does some modeling and is the second highest earning female athlete in the world.
And she's hot, so awesome!
What a gal, indeed.
She is from Germany and began playing golf at the age of five during family vacations to various German golf resorts.
She is also a graduate of the University of Florida.
Envelope pushed, Ashley. Envelope pushed.
A lot of guys will miss this aspect of this picture, but Ashley has brown hair and a red top on.
Anna Grzebien is really from the Anna Kournikova school of hot athletes.
She is a pretty good golfer, but she is way hotter than she is good at golf.
We'll just have to wait and she if she is able to parlay her career as a golfer into a career in hotness.
She is off to a good start.
Another aspect of tennis-ian athleticism that lends itself to sexiness:
The bent over, hunched down, feet shoulder-width apart waiting for the opponent's serve position.
A female golfer from Hawaii, Bridget was featured in the Golf Channel's reality series The Big Break.
I'm sorry...did I just write the words "Golf Channel's reality series?"
How many of those words would have been totally foreign to someone 20 years ago?
This is a really great action shot that really portrays Viktoria Azarenka's beauty and athleticism.
Funny thing about Viktoria Azarenka: she is a Belarusian tennis player who was born in 1989. She began playing competitively in 2005, at the age of 16, but now, she is 22.
Humorously, if you google Viktoria Azarenka, you get a lot of pictures of a very girlish looking teenager but also some model/swimsuit spreads she has done, which are more adultish.
It is a very awkward juxtaposition.
She's awesome at tennis, though, by the way.
The hair, the skin, the concept: love it, love it, love it.
Unfortunately, to this point, this has been one of the few great shots in Montgomery's career, as her highest tournament finish yet was 26th in the New Zealand Women's Open.
The one and only, the reigning beauty of tennis, Maria Sharapova.
Sharapova brings to the table something Anna Kournikova never did:
In addition to being beautiful, she is also very good at tennis.
There are lots of posed sexy pictures of Blair O'Neal online, including pictures for Maxim and Sports Illustrated in which she is either in a bathing suit or a skimpy outfit.
To those of us at Bleacher Report, though, this shot is ultimate beauty.
Because not only is Blair O'Neal lovely and fantastic, but so, too, is here tee shot.
And a beautiful tee-shot, to paraphrase Yeats, is a joy forever.