Phew. You see what I mean about Bubba? He's got to be a smart cookie to keep track of things. In fact, during a race it is only possible to keep track of the leaders, full results are given after the finish.
One of the curiosities of NASCAR is that the rulebook is secret. You can find rules for FIA governed sports on the Internet, but in NASCAR what the management says is what goes, and they've got nobody quoting the rules back to them.
Teams
NASCAR has both full-time teams, who contest each race in a series, and part-time teams, who only contest some. That, for me, is a downer.
Teams have as many as five drivers or as few as one; most of the part-time teams are single-driver. Drivers can appear for different teams during a season, and that for me is another downer.
Obviously, I am conditioned by years of watching F1. If you pay a visit to the NASCAR section on Bleacher, you will find lots of passionate stuff on the sport, much of it written by people of the female type. And now you at least know about the cut and the chase!
Venues
Most NASCAR races are on oval tracks, in vast stadia holding incredible numbers of spectators, up to 170,000 or more. We in the UK tend to sniff at ovals, but ask yourself what your objections really are.
The reason for that configuration is that it allows all spectators to see all of the action all of the time, something that cannot be said of any F1 circuit.
There are two road-course races this year. The NASCAR (and IRL) definition of a road-course is one that has both left and right turns.
The numbers of people who see a NASCAR race live and in person dwarf the F1 figures, due to the sheer number of races. It is a very big sport indeed.
Races
Forty-three drivers qualify to race, and the large field starts behind a pace car. This is the first yellow flag condition of the race, and you are likely to see others due to alarms and excursions. After that cruise around at 70 mph the pace car pulls off, and the cars are then racing under a green flag.
There is always good wheel-to-wheel action, with plenty of overtaking, and once you get used to looking at tin-tops, it is good fun.
There do tend to be a lot of yellow flags, and some cynics suggest this to stop anyone building a commanding lead. As if! Whatever the truth of that, you will not be watching a procession.
The tip I would give any new NASCAR viewer is to forget about the detail of points scoring. In fact just forget all the detail and enjoy the action, you'll pick the rest up as you go along.
The End
If you're in the UK like me, maybe you'll see if NASCAR is to your taste? It's on Setanta's American Sports Channel, Sky or Freeview, but not on Freesat yet.
The devils do want you to pay for it, so just give up your movies subscription. Too late in the season now though, but something to bear in mind for the spring.
You are guaranteed to see some harum-scarum racing action, and you might just get to love it. Millions of people do, and they can't all be wrong.
To anyone who had made it to the end of this rather long article, I want to say a big thank you. It represents an afternoon of my life, and you've made it worthwhile.
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