Enough With Your Antics: NHL "Schoolboys" Need to Learn a Lesson

I have had enough with the unskilled trying to earn spots on teams through nothing more than school yard antics.

Darcy Tucker, Ryan Hollweg, Steve Ott, and Sean Avery to name a few should have their heads handed to them by the next actual enforcer that plays against them. Sorry to rant, but this is embarrassing. No wonder the sport has trouble attracting "real" fans in the U.S.  I say behind closed doors, the GM's should be making calls to each other to teach these guys a lesson! Here's what the conversation might sound like.

Doug Reisbrough (GM-Minnesota Wild): Hey David, any chance you caught our game against the Colorado Avalanche last night?

David Poile (GM-Nashville Predators): Yeah, that Tucker is a real piece of work.

Reisbrough: Funny you should say that, that's why I'm calling. I'll trade you "future considerations" for you to call up your biggest, baddest minor leaguer to take care of him. I will also pay that player $50,000 on top of his fines for his actions, just make sure that Tucker "learns his lesson."

And once the deed is done, if you could ask your player to get down on his hands and knees and whisper something into that piece of s*$!'s ear, "The Minnesota Wild say hello!"

Poile: I can arrange that. And don't worry about the money, we'll take care of it. Eventually we will all have done these types of favors for each other so it all comes out in the wash. Remind me to bring this up at the next GM meetings, we have to protect our skilled players from these weasels.

Reisbrough: Thanks Dave, you're the best!

I wish this could really happen. Instead, Tucker will live to play another day. Or am I on to something here?

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