Media week has arrived for this year's Super Bowl and thus far, it doesn't seem to be any different from all the others.
Boring questions and boring politically correct answers.
Fortunately we have Bill Belicheck involved again to add some spice. Personally, when the man speaks I'm on the edge of my seat. He's already next to impossible to shut up.
He was asked about Tom Brady's participation at practice. His response: "He was out there with everyone else." That was it. What colorful insight.
His recruiting of free agent talents like Junior Seau proved to be equally action-packed. Seau was asked what the Patriots did to acquire him. With the Patriots ability to reload year in and out with top free agents one would think the answer could actually be interesting.
Get this: Seau said Belichek called him early on and stated: "We have a position for you."
Wait, there's more. Then, two weeks before the season began, Belicheck made it nearly impossible for Seau to say no. He told him: "We have a position for you." Again.
How can anyone question Belichek's personality and pizazz after hearing that? It's no longer a mystery how he gets it done. This man could sell water to a whale. Thank God for media week.
Seau was soon asked more questions we were dying for the answers to.
Like the ever-pressing: "How many hats do you own?" To which Junior responded, "I probably have 350 hats, I'm pretty sick with hats."
No, what's sick is what the inside of your hats probably look like after you wear them. With an amount of jheri-curl juice that would make Eazy-E blush, chances are he can only wear them once before they're destroyed.
I mean, even as he was answering the question you could see little drips of this sparkly perm party attempting to escape the hat and make their way down his face.
Michael Jackson called, and thanks to a life lesson following a small blaze in his party perm during a Coke commercial a while back, is advising Seau to cut back a bit on the product. But, I digress.
Seau is reportedly a good friend of this year's Super Bowl foe, Mike Strahan. One of the fun topics seems to be both of their aspirations of a Super Bowl ring—which neither has won in their long hall of fame-worthy careers.
Anyone who has ever seen Strahan knows that that if the man had his jaw wired shut he wouldn't have a problem finding a gaping route to sneak solid foods in. But, that giant mouth does carry one positive (as impossible as that might be to believe).
In a week starving for quotes, Michael will always provide us with something. Thus far, he has already spoken on a few topics.
He spoke of a text message he received from Tiki Barber immediately following the win over Green Bay. Tiki hung up the jersey, choosing a full-time career in television—thus missing the Super Bowl in the first season following his retirement. His text to Strahan was one that stated how proud of them he was and his congratulations were offered. Tiki (who might be the only man on the planet with that name) allegedly claims no regret.
He can claim what he wants to, but if answers nowadays weren't so politically guarded, the answer would probably be more along the lines of: "If someone finds me swinging from my basement ceiling, don't be surprised."
Stahan also reportedly addressed the team once they arrived in Arizona and told the guys "there's a lot of hoopla and distractions, so don't think about parties and these other things."
If the team could actually hear the words and not be completely distracted by the disaster area that is Strahan's mouth, then they will probably fair okay as far as avoiding other distractions. Then again, this is the week of the Super Bowl, and the media will be in full force doing everything they can to create them.
Whether it be Strahan's mouth, Junior Seau's party perm, or what type of footwear the players have on throughout the week—something will be created to distract them in some way. Journalism won't be easy, nor will television.
There's really nothing that new or interesting coming out of either camp, but the coverage is extensive. This creates idiocracy.
Whether it be an aspiring journalist speaking on repulsive hair styles, mouths that should get consideration for being one of the wonders of the world, or follow-up questions on how many hats a man owns—there just isn't much that interesting to work with.
The game being what it is requires attention and media week is for trying to make water into wine until this world-watched event begins.
So take a deep breath, prepare to endure it, and get ready for what it's really all about in the end. A game that will determine the world champion of football—the Super Bowl.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!