I loved college.
I loved the strange hours, the random people you met, the crazy parties, the sporting events (even if times were often tough at Temple during my years there), and the general sensation that you were living and having fun in this bubble of an existence that sat separate from the real world you were preparing for.
I loved college.
And so, with students returning to school once more and college football on the docket, it's time for a tradition as wonderful as dotting the "I" or running through the "T": It's time to list the 100 hottest fanbases in college football.
I still love college, and so do you.
I'm guessing this is the exception rather than the norm at the service academies, but it was simply too hot of a photo to pass up.
Remember ladies, ask not what your boyfriend can do for you, but rather what you can do for your boyfriend.
See the Navy slide.
I'd like to Cy-clone a few of these ladies.
Yup, a cloning pun.
Trust me, the puns are just beginning.
These lovely ladies make me want to hum a tune.
I don't know much about Western Michigan, but I'd be more than happy to learn more if this lovely lady was giving the lesson.
If I were coming up with a marketing campaign and slogan for Toledo on a limited budget:
The Rockets Rock It!
This is one way to stay warm in blustery Buffalo.
Electric blankets are another.
I've been doing a bit of research on Boca Raton—where Florida Atlantic is located—and it seems like a pretty solid place to go to school.
I didn't even consider going to places like Florida or California when making a decision on colleges, which in retrospect may have been an oversight on my part.
Yes, I too had to double-take before realizing those shirts said "Troy Cheer."
Ball State's mascot is called "Charlie Cardinal," which might be the most generic mascot name I've ever heard.
Florida International's mascot is "Roary the Panther," which sounds as though a three-year-old named it.
Florida International may be located in Miami, but don't expect to party your way through school there—it's a top-tier research institution, after all.
She didn't win anything, she just really loves wearing sashes that make it known where she goes to school.
Lazy cheerleaders are the number one cause of non-peppiness at universities.
So get up, Bowling Green cheerleader, and make your school peppy once more!
If I were coming up with a marketing campaign and school rap for Western Kentucky on a limited budget:
Yo yo yo, you can't stop her,
'Cuz she's a Lady Topper,
You may think you can drop her,
But you can't, 'cuz she's a Lady Topper.
(I hope no one is reading these slides.)
I'd like to sing this lovely lady a song.
Take it away, Zombies.
Only in college could you walk up to this girl and say, "My, you are one sexy Chippewa" and it wouldn't be offensive.
Perhaps a bit forward, but not offensive.
After taking the proper time to admire the beauty of the cheerleader on the left, do turn your attention to the expression of the cheerleader on the right.
Here's my guess for what she's thinking:
"God, I wanted to be a cheerleader and I chose to go to Vanderbilt? Of all of the schools in the SEC with a football tradition and I chose this one to cheer for? Thank goodness I'm getting an amazing education."
Their team name is the "Golden Hurricane," which I guess is cool because it is gold and what have you.
However, it is singular, whereas Miami is the "Hurricanes," thus indicating that they have more than one at their disposal.
If given the choice of powers, I'd rather be able to wield the power of multiple hurricanes rather than one golden hurricane, but that's just me.
Wait, how did I end up talking about super powers?
Ah yes, my beloved school, Temple University.
Temple is a strange school, in that the appeal isn't so much the school spirit as it is having the city of Philadelphia at your disposal.
So while there are hordes of beautiful women that attend the school, it is often hard to come by evidence of that on the Internet.
I'd be her Scarlet Knight in shining armor.
I love the college tradition of taking shirts and wearing them at half their intended length.
I've been to Fort Collins—where Colorado State is located—and I can tell you that it is a really cool college town with easy access to the Rocky Mountains.
If you are into hiking, micro breweries and beautiful women such as the one pictured here, Colorado State is a great choice.
She's a Cougar now, and I'm sure she'll be a cougar later in life as well.
The girl in the middle of this picture would have made me seriously consider transferring to Memphis had I seen this photo during my undergrad days.
Waco me up when we're in a different town.
(From what I've heard, Waco isn't a very exciting college town. Thus, I felt at liberty to use that pun. Let's move on.)
If only there were even more gorgeous ladies such as these spelling out "Bear" in this picture.
As it were, Cincinnati is well-represented here.
Here's some Wake Forest knowledge for you:
Originally, Wake Forest's athletic teams were known as the Fighting Baptists, due to its association with the Baptist Convention (from which it later separated itself). However, in 1923, after a particularly impressive win against the Duke Blue Devils, a newspaper reporter wrote that the Deacons "fought like Demons", giving rise to the current team name, the "Demon Deacons."
If I were coming up with a marketing campaign and slogan for Minnesota on a limited budget:
The Gophers Go Fer It!
Updating a Classic of Literature:
The Orange Letter.
I'll let you guess what it stands for.
I'm going to avoid any and all jokes avoiding this school's nickname.
I've got my Hawkeye on you.
This lovely lady is proof that attending Pitt is not the pits.
(Seriously, I hope nobody is reading these captions.)
Thankfully, this Terrapin shed her shell.
One Boilermaker, please!
How the hell could anyone stay chaste at BYU with lovely ladies like this walking around?
Hugging is an excellent way for young ladies to show solidarity and school spirit.
Or something like that.
If I were coming up with a marketing campaign and slogan for Duke on a limited budget:
You Don't Want to "Duke It Out" With Duke! Because You'll Lose! And Afterwards, We'll Insult Your Inferior Intellect, Because We Go To Duke!
Crap, I already used my Cougar joke for this slideshow.
She's a hot cheerleader—she speaks for herself.
Here's some "Mean Green" knowledge for you:
The name “Mean Green,” still in use after 44 years, was adopted by fans and media in 1966 for a North Texas football defensive squad that finished the season second in the nation against the rush. That school year, Joe Greene was a sophomore at North Texas, played left tackle on the football team, and competed in track and field (shot put). As of 2010, Greene is the only football player from UNT to be inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame (Hayden Fry is the only UNT coach inducted).
Nicknames I've determined are vastly overused in college sports: Bulldogs, Owls, Tigers, Wildcats, Eagles and Bears.
I'm sure there are more, but those are the top contenders in my book.
Body paint is art's gift to man.
Well, most of the time.
Why is it so sexy when women put on eye black?
The skimpy underwear and sexy jersey are sexy enough, but then she pushes it over the top with the eye black.
I think I'm in love.
I love rivalries.
Though Louisville fans are probably really annoyed with the placement of these two schools right now.
We are Stanford! We are really smart!
We have Andrew Luck, and he is better than any player you have on your team!
We have an ugly tree as a mascot!
We don't feel quite as smart now that we've actually thought about how stupid our mascot is!
If the Beatles were Hawaiian, one of their famous songs probably would have had a different title, "Aloha Aloha."
"You say, "Aloha" / And I say, "Aloha" / Aloha, aloha / I don't know why you say "Aloha," and I say "Aloha."
The Ohio mascot is named Rufus the Bobcat, though I don't think anyone would have minded if he were named "Bob Cat."
We're halfway home, but the puns are getting pretty rough at this point.
Stay strong, my faithful viewers! (Er, readers.)
Ladies, this is a proper showing of team spirit and healthy affection for your fellow classmates. You are encouraged to mirror the behavior of these ladies whenever the love of your school washes over you.
I don't know about all of this "rock chalk" business, but I know this is a Jayhawk I fully support.
Perhaps Chris Johnson is holding out to spend some more quality time with this lovely lady?
Where have you gone, Aaron Rodgers?
Cal football turns its mediocre eyes to you.
You know Tulane students know how to have a good time.
It's New Orleans, baby!
Take that, Mormons!
Any marriage between SMU graduates includes in the vows, "Until the death penalty do us part."
And now it's time for one of my favorite games, "Altering Famous Lyrics." Take it away, Rod:
Wake up, Aggie, I think I got something to say to you,
It's late September and I really should be back at school.
I know I keep you amused, but I feel I'm being used.
Oh Aggie, I couldn't have tried any more.
You lured me away from home, just to save you from being alone.
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt.
I call this game, "Sexy Whisper Down the Lane."
She can't believe the naughty thing I just said.
Now that's how you show school spirit!
Did you know that Pauly Shore attended Fresno State.
What do you mean you couldn't care less?
An excerpt from the "Illinois Nickname Brainstorming Committee" Meeting:
Guy One: Listen, we need a unique, memorable, creative nickname. And please, if somebody suggests Bulldogs, Eagles, Wildcats, Tigers or Owls one more time, I'm going to scream.
Guy Two: What about Illini?
Guy One: Dumbest idea ever. However, I have another meeting I need to get to, so Illini it is.
I call this picture, "The Best Recruiting Poster Ever."
All you have to do is throw up a "Georgia Tech Wants You!" and the campus would be flooded.
They commonly go by the Cavaliers, though they are also known as the Wahoos.
Official University of Virginia sports documents explain that Washington and Lee baseball fans first called University of Virginia players "a bunch of rowdy Wahoos," and used the "Wahoowa" yell as a form of derision during the in-state baseball rivalry in the 1890s, presumably after hearing them yell or sing "wa-hoo-wa." The term "Wahoos" caught on around the University and was commonly in use by the 1940s. "'Hoos" became the more accepted nickname throughout Grounds in student publications. In recent years, the Hoos nickname has become a nickname used by students and recent alumni of the University, and it is also commonly used in the media in reference to U.Va. sports teams.
If I went to Michigan State, I'd be yelling "This is Sparta!" all the time.
I'd walk around campus, kick some unsuspecting kid into the bushes, and scream "This is Sparta!"
I'd probably be asked to transfer.
I like to call this picture "Perfection."
College teaches kids important survival skills.
She could husk my corn.
(I feel creepy now.)
I would allow both of them into my "Wolfpack."
I'm not going to even bother writing anything of "substance" on this slide.
(Editor's note: Nothing of substance has been written on any of these slides.)
They call it "Sin City" for a reason.
You'll need the luck of the Irish to get lucky with this lovely lady.
I feel like "Hoosier" might also be a verb that Indiana's male student body incorporates.
"Hey Joe, did you 'Hoosier' last night?"
"Yup, and she wants to get together again tonight."
"Well played, Joe."
In West Virginia, a couch-burning in the midst of a celebratory riot is considered an a common first date.
Will you tutor me?
This is the way flag football was meant to be played.
They may be nicknamed the Hogs (or Razorbacks), but this picture would suggest that the campus is full of anything but.
I've got my Buckeye on you.
I'm always surprised that Miami doesn't have evidence strewn about the Internet of its hot students like some of the schools higher on this list seem to have.
I guess I'll have to do some field work and find out for myself.
As you can see, there are many benefits to going to a college in a warm-weather climate.
Now these are some Honey Badgers I'd like to hang out with.
Now that's a locker room I'd like to come back into after a win.
And I heart you, Miss Michigan Fan.
(I promise I'll never "heart" anything ever again. I apologize, I got caught up in the moment.)
I'd like to see her Sooner rather than later.
(Seriously, please stop reading the captions if you still are bothering to read them. Nothing good can come of you reading my nonsense.)
Clemson's mascot simply goes by "The Tiger."
All other tigers must bow down and recognize the divine right of "The Tiger."
I'd volunteer to do anything she asked of me.
Well, except her physics homework, I hated physics.
Prospective college students: Consider The University of Colorado at Boulder.
It's an awesome city nestled in the foothills of the Rockies, and the beautiful ladies are plentiful.
Sure, there are a bunch of Hippies-turned-Yuppies and the area isn't cheap by any means, but screw it—you only live once.
Dude, that's four friggin' schools that call themselves "The Tigers," and they're all southern institutions.
Folks, there are no tigers in the south—this nickname not only makes no sense, but it shouldn't have been used by so many damn schools in such a small geographical proximity.
I have no idea why this annoys me so much. I'm going to enjoy the picture now.
This reminds me of the tutoring scene from "Billy Madison."
"GIVE ME THE ANSWER!"
It has Florida in the title—you know there is no shortage of hotties.
What she's thinking:
My oh my, I do wish my dahlin Tim was here to watch this game with me. Why, if my Gamecocks lose, I'll need him to console me only as he knows how.
I promise you that is exactly what she's thinking.
If I were coming up with a marketing campaign and slogan for Oregon on a limited budget:
We'll Duck You Up!
Ever wondered why the Crimson Tide's mascot is an elephant. Yeah, me too. Here you go:
The origin of the mascot dates back to 1930. On October 8, a sportswriter wrote about the previous weekend's Alabama-Ole Miss football game. The writer, using the flair for the dramatic common in sportswriting at the time, wrote that an anonymous fan yelled out "Hold your horses, the elephants are coming!" upon hearing the rumble of the first team coming on the field. The name stuck throughout what became a national championship season and beyond.
So now, if you ever happen upon this lovely lady at an Alabama game, you can impress her with her knowledge.
Will you be my Georgia peach?
Why didn't I go to San Diego State?
Amazing climate, beautiful beaches, and incredibly sexy students such as the one pictured.
Truly an error in judgment.
Again, if the school has "California" or "Florida" in the title, it's probably a safe bet the campus will be littered with hotties.
This is how all female fans should celebrate a touchdown scored by their team.
I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Everything is bigger in Texas."
I think she proves that.
Somehow, Jenn Sterger isn't even the hottest one in this picture, something that probably hasn't been said very often in her life.
Ole Miss is legendary for their tailgating at "The Grove," and if this sexy cheerleader is any indication, it's the type of party I think I want to experience before I die.
There are several reasons why college football players should stay all four years of college.
Reason No. 1: A college education is really, really important.
Reason No. 2: College is fun, damnit! Enjoy it while it lasts.
Reasons No. 3-100: Beautiful girls like the ones pictured here.
Arizona State is probably the only school on this list that is known almost exclusively for the beautiful women that attend this institution of higher learning.
It's not hard to see why.