After Gary Cohen pointed out Bay’s inability to crank out extra-base hits, Bay has had a quite a streak. After going 50+ games without a double, Bay has cranked out three in the last two days, with one of them clearing the bases. Generally an announcer mentioning a streak jinxes the team in a bad way. Somehow Gary Cohen managed what seems like a reverse jinx. This gave me an idea…
You hear that Jason Bay? I have officially given up on you. What, you think I’m gonna fall for your antics again? Just because this is the best you’ve hit since your grandslam in Texas does not mean I’m gonna believe you’ve gotten out of your slump? You got that?
Jason Bay, you are easily the worst outfielder in the major leagues. You are so bad, that I am actually writing an article about you because you have gotten three extra base hits in what seems like the last month! That would be fine, if you were at least hitting for average, but .223 is not cutting it. Hell, I would be ok if you just avoided grounding into a double play or striking out every time you come up with runners in scoring position.
I’m gonna keep writing about how bad you are in every one of my articles (yes, even if I write about football, or basketball, or hockey) until you prove me wrong. I am reverse jinxing you back to baseball prominence even if it kills me (don’t ask me how it could kill me…it just can ok?!?)
So, thank you for actually contributing to the team for once. It was greatly appreciated. Just don’t think I’m gonna start expecting it from you, Jason GAY! How did you like that offensive and childish insult that I already feel stupid for saying? Huh?!?
Next time I’m bringing out the momma jokes! Start hitting Bay!