Kenny Florian and Gesias Calvancante Squaring Off at All Balls Brawl?

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Do you remember back in the early days of mixed martial arts where a fighter could swing for his opponent's "cash and prizes" with all their might, and it was perfectly legal?

Or even better, you could reach down your opponent's tights and squeeze whatever you found until they crumpled to the mat and started crying like a little girl?

Gary Goodridge remembers those days. And "The Pedro" remembers even more.

There is now a promotion that embraces shots to the nuts. Welcome to All Balls Brawl.

This Sunday, All Balls Brawl President Larry Gordon will be putting two of the best fighters in the world inside the double hexagon when Kenny Florian and Gesias "JZ" Calvancante will see who truly has balls of steel.

When these two world-class fighters enter the cage, they will unleash hell on each others' "stupid balls." You will see moves you have never seen in any other promotion, including Pee-Pee's elbow, the inverted nut tap and the Vasectomizer.

Do not expect to see anything but groin shots during this epic battle. In fact, any strikes not to the junk are illegal.

In Florian's last bout in the ABB, he was disqualified for an illegal punch to his opponent's butt. 

So if you long for some old-school MMA, minus punches and kicks to the head, legs, body or anywhere but the groin for that matter, you won't want to miss ABB Sunday night.

And yes, this whole article is about a fictitious fight for a fictitious promotion that will never happen. But you have to admit that was one funny video. 

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