If I were going to make a suggestion for cheerleaders everywhere, it would be this: Be a cheerleader, not a cheer follower.
What does that have to do with this article? Nothing. It doesn't need to. The following slides are chock full of sexy, naughty cheerleaders—I couldn't bury the lede if I tried.
Frankly, I'm impressed you've made it to the third paragraph. Well done. I will reward you with a cheesy double-entendre this time:
This slideshow is rife with some amazing pom-pom action, if you know what I mean.
There ain't no party like an Orange Coast College cheerleader party, because an Orange Coast College party don't stop!
Liz Lemon might disagree, however.
What happened when the New England Patriots cheerleaders headed down to Punta Cana?
This does, apparently.
Thanks to the ever classy Don Chavez for the info and picture.
Then again, these Sacramento Kings cheerleaders make the act of drinking look, um, entertaining.
You stay classy, Sacramento.
You know, the West Virginia cheerleaders might be fun to hang out with as well.
Well, at least the 2010 squad.
Plus, they're always there with a pillow in case anyone is uncomfortable.
So sweet of them.
Well, that looks like fun.
Guess where these photos came from?
That's right, Don Chavez. How did you guess?
No back story here, this one just looks naughty.
This picture is the only thing about the Dallas Cowboys I will ever admit to liking.
(Note: This video is not safe for work for profanity reasons. Hell, this video isn't safe if you live five blocks from a place of worship.)
The cheerleaders of Fayetteville State caught the ire of the school's chancellor, Dr. James Anderson, when they appeared in J. Cole's "Who Dat" video.
Seeing as they only appeared on the video for about 20 seconds and did nothing naughtier than shake their pom-poms (literal interpretation intended), these ladies make the list for associating themselves with such copious profanity.
In the eyes of Dr. Anderson, at least.
Pasqualotto was a cheerleader for the Mumbai Indians, an Indian Premier League cricket squad.
That's right—a cricket cheerleader.
Anyway, Pasqualotto was dismissed from the team in May for authoring the blog "The Secret Diary of an IPL Cheerleader." Here are a few excerpts from that diary, taken from The Wall Street Journal's coverage of the story:
“Usually only after day matches there is an exclusive after party and at night is when it all happens. The music pumps, the drinks flow and the cricketers come and go … the real fun happens in the VIP rooms where the players and night owls can cause scandal!” Ms. Pasqalotto wrote.
“The likes of Jonty Rhodes and Albie Morkel are notorious for having a good time with friends! ‘Ol Graeme Smith will flirt with anything while his girlfriend lurks behind him. The Aussies are fun but naughty, such as Aiden Blizzard and Dan Christian,” she says.
This is hardly Wikileaks—few people would be surprised to hear that some sportsmen are flirtatious or enjoy a night on the town. Rest easy, Julian Assange.
Ms. Pasqalotto continues; “By the end of a crazy evening, a certain someone had played kissing catchers with three girls known to me only, although he has his own girlfriend back home. He cooed to each girl, “Come home with me, I just want to cuddle!’”
I believe Ms. Pasqualotto is one of the outside cheerleaders. You be the judge.
After photos like the one to the left were released by website TheDirty.com in 2008 of the Arizona State cheerleaders, the school did what any respectable institution would do:
They abolished the entire squad.
Wait, that seems really extreme, right?
Christy was a Redskinette who was introduced to her future husband, Redskins' tight end Chris Cooley, through another member of the Redskinette squad. Both were fired from the squad for fraternizing with Cooley, a cheerleader no-no.
And Chris and Christy fell in love.
Aw, how cute.
Things you do when you are a 19-year-old that seem sort of funny at the time: Draw on a friend with a sharpie after they've passed out.
Things you shouldn't do when you are a 19-year-old member of the Patriots cheering squad: Appear in photographs holding a sharpie next to a person who has been written on with a sharpie while they are passed out.
Because then you will probably be dismissed from the team, whether you were responsible for the drawings or not.
Davis probably got a raw deal in this instance, but there is an important lesson to be learned here: Big organizations are hyper-sensitive about image, especially in the age of the Internet. Keep that in mind.
Finally—a slide involving a cheerleading coach.
Carlie Beck had been offered the position of cheerleading coach at Casa Roble High School in Orangevale, California in 2009. And then it was discovered she had posed naked for Playboy in October of 2008.
And soon after, she was fired. A reason wasn't given, but we can all connect the dots here, right?
Miss Corley, who was a freshman cheerleader at Mississippi State this past year, posed for Playboy under the name "Taylor Stone."
She chose that name because she has a rocking body.
Okay, so I made that up. Whatever.
Corley did leave the team in February, however.
"I am no longer cheering for [Mississippi] State," Corley announced on Memphis radio show Memphisport Live. "Me and my coaches decided that it was either Mississippi State cheerleading or my Playboy career. Pretty much the decision was made for me that I was no longer going to be cheering for them."
Briana was an Atlanta Hawks dancer.
Then her contract ran up, and she became Brandy Blair the porn star.
Okay, you can resume staring a hole through your computer screen where her pictures appears.
DUI's aren't cool. Per The Register-Guard in March of 2010:
Molly K. Maginnis, 18, was detained after trying to parallel park her black Chevrolet Equinox along the east curb of Patterson Street near East 18th Avenue about 11:25 p.m. Saturday, police spokeswoman Melinda Kletzok said.
This is what I've pieced together from this 2007 incident:
Photos of a nude Mann engaged in sexual activities found there way on the Internet in 2007. She ultimately left the team or was dismissed and perhaps even expelled from the school and may or may not have pressed charges against the person she believed posted the photos.
Yes, I'm terrified to definitively state any information about this, since a clear source on the exact happenings in this incident was impossible to locate.
Nonetheless, the photos were apparently all over the Internet in 2007 (and still floating around to this day), but a clear story as to the circumstances was pretty darn hard to find.
Here's a fun fact for you to chew over: Courtney Simpson's real name is Courtney Cox, but she went by Courtney Simpson in her porn career.
That's right, she got rid of 'Cox' when she became a porn actress. And yes, I know it was to avoid using the same name as the "Friends" star, but that doesn't make it any less funny.
Anyway, Ms. Simpson appeared in a pornography film in her actual Arizona State cheerleading outfit, a fact the school was none too pleased about.
I can't imagine why...
These two cheerleaders did what any cheerleaders would do after a tough day of cheering—they got it on in the bathroom.
And then they punched the woman who was complaining about having to wait to use the bathroom.
Don't rush the romance, lady!
Anyway, they ultimately pled out of the case, avoiding jail time but also giving up the right to make any money off of the incident.
God bless America.