5. Yankee Fans Are Classless and Obnoxious. Sox Fans are Wacky and Irreverent.
FALMOUTH, Mass.—A Cape Cod man faces charges for allegedly beating another man with a baseball bat because he thought he was a New York Yankees fan. He accused the man, whose children were in the car, of being a Yankees fan, then beat him and vandalized his car.
NASHUA, N.H.—A 43-year-old Nashua, N.H. woman faces murder charges after a man she's accused of running down during the weekend died. Witnesses say the incident was sparked by an argument between Red Sox and Yankees fans at a Nashua bar early Friday morning.
It's comparing apples and oranges. But really apples. I guess I can see the difference. Running someone down is psychotic and malicious. Beating someone up with a bat is all in good fun. Yankee fans have no sense of humor.
6. They Took the Hard Way When They Chose to Support the Red Sox. New Yorkers Took the Easy Way Out.
I’d go ahead and venture to say that choosing to be a Yankee fan while growing up in Boston would have handed you infinitely more hardships throughout your life than choosing to register as a member of the Red Sox Nation party.
7. 18-1 Is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of.
“I’d rather go 18-1 and not win a Super Bowl, than 14-6 and win a Super Bowl.” Right.
Patriot fans maintain that 18-1 chants don’t bother them at all because it’s such an impressive season. Yeah, I know exactly what they mean. Whenever someone gives me hell over the Yankees choking in 2004, I simply remind them of how remarkable it was to take a 3-0 lead in the ALCS in the first place.
8. Massachusetts Loves the Williams Sisters.
An ESPN poll done this past July asked the nation “Which is the better pair of current sports siblings?” While nearly 75% of the country chose the Mannings, Massachusetts went the way of the Williams sisters. Apparently, they are just a really big tennis-loving group of sports fans.
(Similarly, a poll this past weekend indicated that while the entire country thinks Favre has been a success with the Jets, Massachusetts and Connecticut disagree.)
9. Their misery cannot be compared to that of a Cubs fan. Their arrogance cannot be compared to that of a Yankees fan. Their fanaticism cannot be compared to that of an Eagles fan.
No fans will ever be quite like them. Ever. Cubs fans are bitter. Yankees buy their team. Eagles fans are assholes.
But Boston fans are unique. Which makes sense—according to Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
10. Larry Bird is Basketball Jesus. Johnny Damon was Red Sox Jesus. Tom Brady is God. “A-God” is Sacrilegious.
All this coming from a state with the second highest percentage of Catholics in the country.
11. They don’t believe in curses.
I’m not sure I’ve fully comprehended their stance on the Curse of the Bambino. Ask any Boston fan and they’ll swear they never bought into it, and it was just the product of hyper-extended media craze.
But then ask them 15 minutes later and they’ll regale you with tails of how the curse was broken when Manny hit a kid in the face with a line drive, who happened to be the current inhabitant of Babe Ruth’s house.
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