After just 10.2 seconds, 100 yards, a comical slide and a few divots of Chase Field, and I was sold.

The Phillies need Heath Bell. 

The guy is a complete clown, a point proven with his zany All-Star Weekend antics. Bell perched on the first base fence before the game, doling out the weird trinkets and soaking in the awkward responses.

Don't think I've ever seen a 14-year-old so horrified of Yoda.

Then he jetted from the bullpen in the eighth, puffing out his chest to the FOX cameraman who raced him. Then they both keeled over.

Like watching Usain Bolt wearing a tire against a bionic Tyson Gay.

Priceless.

As could that presence be in the locker room, likely to be stuffy and tense as the second half rolls on.

I'm serious: Think of the pressure looming over this team.

They're prohibitive favorites to win the pennant. They're up 3.5 games up on the Braves in the division. They far and away the best in a shallow National League field.

Who's gonna catch them?

Who even thinks anyone can?

They've been leveraged as win-now, between the $40 million wrapped up in Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels (whose contract expires at year's end, when he becomes arbitration eligible) and $20 million in Ryan Howard. Already Ruben Amaro is pressed up against the luxury tax glass so hard it's bound to break.

The expectations only get worse if it does.

Even if they don’t increase their spending, the Phils' window to win doesn't belong in a McMansion. It would more easily fit in an attic.

And it's closing.

That pressure is going to go over like Seth Meyers at the ESPY's: bearable for a while, but more bothersome than anything.

How refreshing would it be, then, to inject character?

You know the team could use it. You don't get that from cement-faced Halladay and Lee, so stern for so often, you wonder if stoicism triggers something in their contracts. Where else will you find that personality? Where else would you want to look?

You don't want that from Hamels, who's finally realized ace potential (even if it's at No. 3) and whose focus is too tenuous to tamper with.

Howard might charm the pants off a Subway marketing exec, but not this locker room. And with the offense disappointing throughout the spring and early summer, that's not where you want Howard's effort.

You have to think that Heath Bell (above) could mitigate some pressure looming over the Phils in the second half.
Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Same goes for Shane Victorino, the closest thing the Phillies have to a top performer – even if he doubles as jokesmith.

That could be Heath Bell.

Remember: This isn't all some quirky social experiment.  With a 2.46 ERA, 27 strikeouts in 27 save opportunities, only one of which he's blown, Bell is as sturdy on the mound as any.

Bell’s even likely to improve. His ERA tightened up on the road, where he's thrown a 1.86 ERA in a perfect 15-for-15 save opportunities, struck out 12 and allowed only three runs. And that was for the bottom-scraping Padres, 40-52 and fifth in the National League West.

Imagine what he'd do for a contender, let alone these front-running Phils.

Probably what Matt Holliday did after his 2009 trade from Oakland to St. Louis: Shake a career-worst lull and post the best 63-game stretch of his career in batting average (.353), slugging (.604), and OPS (1.023), the renaissance you expect from guys playing games that mercifully matter.

And I get that there doesn't seem a need, with this crowded bullpen. But there are as many shreds of doubt as promise, given the youth and fragility.

Nobody trusts or wants Brad Lidge. Have Antonio Bastardo's 33 first-half innings shown you enough to let Ryan Madson walk in free agency? Has Madson even plead a strong enough case, even after 15-of-16 saves in the first half?

Does Michael Stutes keep you from stocking up on options?

That's what Bell the player offers: Flexibility. Why not load up on relief pitching if you can, prolonging tough and pricey decisions 'till December? Like what you see, offer Bell a deal this winter, when his contract expires.

Can't decide between Bell, Madson and Hamels, throw all three in the cart (my suggestion) and check out.

If it doesn't work, at least you tried.

And tried hard, having acquired a right-handed bat, too. What? You wouldn't make Ryan Ludwick a must-have throw-in to any Heath Bell deal? It's like shopping at Costco over a multiple retail outlets. It's easier, and cheaper, cutting out paperwork and last-second tack-ons you'd find with multiple trading partners.

That might cost you Vance Worley, who I'd be less willing to deal than "Baby Aces" Jared Cosart, Trevor May or Brodie Colvin. But this needs to happen, even if it's expensive.

That's been Amaro's prevailing corporate strategy anyway. Major League Baseball Network could feature Ruben Amaro in the Hoarders: Front-Office Edition premier, this team is so now-loaded.

Is that best? Don't know. I've lobbied for tempering short- and long-term strategies closer toward the middle, fortifying the 2011 roster but leaving plenty left for later.

But that's not how this team has been built. And Amaro, according to Jayson Stark on 97.5 The Fanatic yesterday, is already more-than-flirting with bringing in Bell, who's already warm to the city and compatible with the locker room.

And the fans long had their minds made, wanting what they want, right-handed batting and relief pitching, and now.

As for the punchline, personified, with a 95 m.p.h. follow-up?

Something's telling me they'll live with that, too.