The US National Soccer Team Player
You'll Need:
A US National Soccer Team jersey
Shorts
A soccer ball

Instructions:
Wear jersey and shorts.
Hold soccer ball in one hand and against hip.
Walk up to people and say "Hi, I'm Landon Donovan/Jozy Altidore/Tim Howard, and I'm a player for the US National Soccer Team."
When person responds with confused look and says "Who?" Throw soccer ball at them and run away crying.
The John Kruk
You'll Need:
A Chewbacca costume

Instructions:
Wear Chewbacca costume.
When recognized as "John Kruk" by strangers, offer to dispense baseball wisdom in exchange for a roast beef sandwich. Or four.
The Mike Shanahan
You'll Need:
Denver Broncos windbreaker
Horse head mask
Headset with microphone

Instructions:
Wear windbreaker.
Place mask on face.
Position headset over mask.
Make sure horse head mask's teeth are clearly visible to all.
Shake head vigorously (and neigh) after every Jay Cutler interception.















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