Pat: Wow. I mean Wow. I am still speechless after seeing that game.
Bernie: Really? The only time you don’t talk is when you’re sleeping, and sometimes that’s not even guaranteed.
Pat: Always one for the lame jokes, Bern.
Bernie: Better than that lame haircut. Did you pay for that?
Pat: Seriously, did your wife give you these jokes? Actually don’t even respond to that, I don’t want to know. What I do want to know is how did everyone feel after watching Texas Tech upset Texas last night?
Bernie: I am feeling like there is a storm a-brewing in the polls.
Pat: We’ll get to the polls later. I have to say though, that was one of the most exciting games I have seen in a very long time. I haven’t seen a game like that since the Boise State/Oklahoma game.
Bernie: I definitely agree. I love the kind of games that will keep you at the edge of your seat, like a Steven King thriller. Except I didn’t have to pay for it!!
Pat: Well Bern, if we are going to be honest here, you do pay for “some” movies, but let’s focus on football now, shall we?
Bernie: Right. So as we know Texas Tech pulled an upset by beating Texas 39-33.
Pat: I have to say, the first half of that game, I was wondering where in the hell Texas was. They certainly didn’t look like the same team that beat OKLA.
Bernie: No they didn’t. What did you think of Texas Tech's defense?
Pat: Their defense looked solid. It was unreal with how well they handled this game.
Bernie: Almost SURREAL. Their front defensive line was dominating the Texas O-Line.
Pat: They sacked McCoy four times!
Bernie: Yeah, then there was the Red Raiders offense. I don’t even have words by how impressed I was by it.
Pat: Well let me, the smarter one, help you here. 600+ yards for the Texas Tech offense. 600 YARDS? I mean this is all just so unbelievable.
Bernie: Yeah, I think it’s safe to put Harrell as a contestant for the Heisman?
Pat: I couldn’t agree with you more. I am sure Texas fans are just having a hard time swallowing that they really had a shot here. There were five missed catches in the first half by the Longhorns and then two throws that should have been interceptions, but Texas couldn’t get it done. Not to mention that Texas Tech had amazing discipline. I think penalties and mistakes really cost the Longhorns the game.
Bernie: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Speaking of those interceptions, I can’t believe Blake Gideon dropped that ball with seconds to go in the game. That would have sealed the deal for Texas. Pat, you could have caught that ball!
Pat: I know, Bernie. But people don’t want to hear about my amazing football skills. Readers surely wouldn’t be interested in my five-touchdown game in high school. Did I mention five touchdowns?
Bernie: You played tuba in the marching band.
Pat: You know nothing about me.
Bernie: Yeah, we have just known each other since we were two, but I know nothing.
Pat:: Stop being such a sensitive Sally. Now Bernie, what I am really wanting to talk about is the polls. They have already come out and here is what we have.
#5 - Texas
#4 - Florida
#3 - Penn State
#2 - Texas Tech
#1 - Alabama
Do you agree with these polls, Bern?
Bernie: ABSOLUTELY not. I would never put Penn State at No. 3. I would actually put them as my No. 1.
Pat: WHAT? Please tell me this is another one of your wife’s jokes.
Bernie: No. If I had my way, this is how the top five would be ranked.
#5 - OKLA
#4 - Texas
#3 - Alabama
#2 - Texas Tech
#1 - Penn State
Pat: So why are you putting a Penn State ranked No. 1.
Bernie: Well they’re undefeated, first off.
Pat: Let me just interrupt you here. Who have they really played? They’ve got cupcakes the rest of the season.
Bernie: Penn State beat Ohio State, which was a top ranked team at the time.
Pat: Oh, please. Ohio State is overrated this year. They barely made it out of Wisconsin with a win and was embarrassed by USC. So you’re telling me that Penn State has played one somewhat of a tough team, and they are ranked No. 1?
Take a look at Texas, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas Tech's schedules. I am just going to say it. The Big 12 is the best conference this year and those teams should be in the top five.
Bernie: That is the craziest thing that has come out of your mouth since you asked your NOW ex-wife to marry you.
Pat: I don’t think so. Alabama has played Georgia, who just got killed by Florida. Alabama has yet to play a great team either. Here are my top five in order:
#5 - Oklahoma
#4 - Oklahoma State (yes, they have only lost one game, and it was to Texas, in which they only lost by four)
#3 - Florida
#2 - Texas
#1 - Texas Tech
Pat: You keep taking the safe side, Bernie. I hate the Big 12. I am an SEC fan. But it is what it is. I would love to see Penn State play a Texas or Oklahoma team sometime this season. They would not win. It’s easy to be undefeated when you play cupcakes all season. I like Paterno and I am secretly rooting for Penn State this year, but the only thing they have over my ranked teams is their discipline. They play smart and they play good. But I call it like I see it and that is my top 5.
Bernie: Well, again readers, please do not address hate mail to me. Pat is crazy.
Pat: The only thing that is crazy is your face.
Bernie: LOL. Good one, Patty.
Pat: Again, I call it like I see it. I think the Big 12 is the best conference this year. One of those teams in the conference is taking a National Title this year.
Bernie: This is also coming from the same person that said Brett Favre is the best QB ever
Pat: I never said that, Bern. Stop putting words in my mouth. I like Favre, but certainly wouldn't say he is the best ever.
Bernie: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME.
Pat: Well, I think that is a wrap.
Bernie: Yeah….I am pretty sure I won’t be seeing you around anymore…
Bernie: Gee, I don’t know. You just upset tons of football fans and well…I will not mind giving out where you reside…ya know…if they ask me about it.
Pat: You’re an awful human being…I mean…really...
Bernie: With that folks, we are signing off!
Pat: SHAKE AND BAKE!!