What the heck does a picture of Dirk Nowitzki have to do with theme songs for every team?
Imagine Dirk and the Mavs are listening to their very own theme: "We Are the Champions" by Queen.
But that's not all—in fact, every single team in the Association has one of its own. Within the following 30 slides, there's enough for everyone.
Here I present to you every team's theme song for the 2011-12 season.
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Even though the Atlanta Hawks have some of the worst fan support and attendance numbers from around the Association, there's no reason to believe they won't stand their ground and return to the playoffs.
There won't be no easy way out for other teams that have to face likes of Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Al Horford and Jamal Crawford for Atlanta.
How exactly does this song not apply to the Boston Celtics?
Their core three veterans are reelin' in the years and stowin' away the time.
I'm not taking a shot at the Charlotte Bobcats by including this song (after all, I am a Timberwolves fan)—just noting that there isn't much hope for next season.
The future looks bright with guys like Bismack Biyombo and Kemba Walker, sure, but there is no chance they make any noise this year.
On the other hand, the Bobcats always have the feeling that they are being had in this league.
"Why the heck is he using the sacred Bulls song?" disgruntled Chicago fans might be wondering.
The reason is that I believe it could become one of those years if they can get by Squire James and his men.
This team is for real, and despite the utter blasphemy, I'm using this as the 2011-12 Bulls theme. They can become an even better team than they were last year.
This song has much to do with what has happened in the past year.
The Cavs suffered through a 19-63 record last year after LeBron James sent the city of Cleveland into a manic depression.
This song represents that the team is ready for the future and ready to move on with young guns like Kyrie Irving, Tristan Thompson and many more.
What else were you expecting? "Bohemian Rhapsody?"
Like their song counterpart, the Denver Nuggets have, as of right now, the most cap room of any team in the league with $29 million.
Although they have a lot to do this offseason, one thing is certain—the Denver Nuggets have got money, and you know it.
If that money is well spent, it could set the tone for the 2011-12 season, that's for sure.
This song is all about the basics. Since the Detroit Pistons are a turmoil-filled franchise at the moment, it might be easy as one-two-three to step back and learn with some new beginnings.
The Pistons could take a hint from the late Michael Jackson and the rest of the crew.
This incredibly stupid song is a perfect fit for the Golden State Warriors' upcoming season for a few reasons.
First, they need to get their rumors set. They are completely teasing the Lakers, Bulls, Sixers, Clippers and T-Wolves, among others, with their offering of Monta Ellis.
Second, the Warriors have to start playing some defense. Don't they know about the Mike D'Antoni disease?
Last (for now), before you tear us apart, please stop teasing us with your potential to make the playoffs. Either do it or don't. Stop always being borderline for once.
Here's an interesting choice for the Houston Rockets.
The title "Magic Man" in this instance can be used on Kevin McHale, but instead of taking a Heart perspective, let's look at it in the coaching aspect—otherwise that'd be plain weird.
Is McHale the coach the Rockets are looking for? Only time, and this band, will tell.
The Indiana Pacers were the eighth seed in the Eastern Conference playoffs last season.
All season long they were stayin' alive in the race, and next year should be a similar scenario. A repeat of .500 seasons calls for a Bee Gees song!
They're going nowhere in the playoffs; somebody help them.
To a much more appropriate extent than Aaron Yates', the Los Angeles Clippers have their very own beast in Blake Griffin.
He's an animal in the post, and if he is Tech for the Clippers, then the rest of the roster is the Strange Music crew.
That's how important he will be for them next season.
The Los Angeles Lakers, simply put, hate losing.
Just as Mick Jagger asks for a cherry red soda in the song but does not receive it, the Lakers will ask for a title and be denied.
Life has never looked better for the Memphis Grizzlies.
In re-signing Zach Randolph and most likely putting up a huge offer for Marc Gasol, the team has proved it is looking bright in the future. At the time that Joe Walsh had written this song, he was in the middle of a phenomenal stretch during his career.
Let's hope that statement can hold true with the Grizz in the coming years.
This song is so fit for the 2011-12 Miami Heat season that it's uncanny.
After a disappointing finals performance, maybe LeBron James needs a whiskey drink, or a vodka drink, or a lager drink, or a cider drink to get himself back up.
The Heat will be back next season. Maybe an illustration from Chumbawamba is exactly what they needed. Nonetheless, enjoy the music video since it essentially was 90 percent of what I shouted in my house when I was a kindergartner.
You didn't expect this entire slideshow to go without a few country songs, did you?
The Milwaukee Bucks won 46 games during the 2009-10 season but then plummeted to a 35-47 record the following year. They are in desperate need of a comeback.
While you're listening to the song, picture the imaginary female to be the NBA playoffs, and it makes complete sense.
The Bucks didn't know they needed the playoffs so, and letting it go was wrong. They'll get back on the right track next season.
I wasn't originally going with this tune as the Minnesota Timberwolves' theme, but as soon as Michael Beasley was arrested with the reefer again, it makes sense.
The Wolves had 17 wins last year, and so, with the slow graceful flow of age, they should win more, right?
Maybe we should ask Stevie.
Hopefully new additions push them over the edge of that win total.
This classic song makes complete sense for the Nets.
It's simple, really: By the summer of 2012, they could have both Deron Williams and Dwight Howard or neither.
The fans can't stop holding on to that feeling; they need to have faith that management can take care of business.
We really have no idea what to expect of the Hornets next season. We do know they are not retaining the contracts of bigs David West and Aaron Gray.
So what can we expect? They'll most likely have Chris Paul for one more season, but outside of that the entire roster (save for the center position, maybe) is not any sort of promise.
Before the Hornets conclude the 2011-12 season, they need to tell us who exactly they are.
We all know the New York Knicks are on the upside in the next few years.
Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire's respective arrivals in the last 12 months have turned a new page in Knicks history.
What we don't know is if these two defensive liabilities can coexist as stars and win playoff games. Look at every other successful duo around the association, and you'll notice that only one of them (and sometimes neither) has that same weakness.
The Knickerbockers will have to believe and obviously execute. For now they just believe.
This slide represents perhaps more of a prediction than anything, but there's reason to believe the Thunder can win a championship next season.
If they mesh well and play better down the stretch, they have to have the feeling.
Just as Justin Timberlake sang 15 years ago, Dwight Howard is all the Orlando Magic wanted, and he's all they ever needed.
Forget the part that Justin is talking about a girl, though. Dwight wouldn't be too thrilled to hear about that.
After all, I'm pretty sure he could crush JT with his left bicep.
This is an uptempo song, and Philly is an uptempo talent.
The title is "Magic," and the 76ers can do athletic things with their powers on the court.
This is a good track, and the Sixers are a good team.
It will be interesting to see what kind of magic tricks Philadelphia will pull out of the bag for the 2011-12 season.
The Phoenix Suns are currently going through an age crisis.
Steve Nash and Grant Hill, 37 and 38 years young respectively, both play younger than they actually are, just like the dude in the song.
But at the same time, they just can't get over the hump. Nash is still one of the best, and he plays like he's 23.
(Warning: The song contains some sour language, but some of the lyrics are too good to pass up.)
Yes, I know this is a football song.
However, it describes the Portland Trail Blazers because of their agility and in-your-face style.
One of the league's brightest teams needs a fierce uptempo song to accompany its incredible basketball skills.
"Here Comes the Boom" also signifies the returning relevance to the franchise. The Blazers have such a good decade in front of them. I can almost say with confidence that at least one title is in the books.
So here they come.
With the news that the Sacramento Kings are staying in Northern California (for now), this song fits absolutely perfect with the situation.
The Kings are taking back what is theirs, and they're here to stay, NBA fans.
(Warning: This video contains some strong language.)
I know I'm going to get ripped for this selection, but frankly, I don't care—the San Antonio Spurs have been on their last legs for a while.
Tim Duncan is nearing retirement, Manu Ginobili is falling down a bit and Tony Parker is being openly shopped.
It's time to rebuild in San Antonio, and as we all know, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
Just as Sugar Ray's song depicts, the Toronto Raptors are looking to spread their wings and fly.
They have a plethora of young talented players, and essentially they are looking to capitalize.
The Northwest Division is a stacked one, and pretty much every analyst and fan could tell you that Oklahoma City, Portland and Denver are the three best teams out of the five.
The Utah Jazz are here to remind you to not count them out in the upcoming season. They have a solid young nucleus of players, and they could surprise.
Is it weird that I didn't mention The Breakfast Club until now?
This season is going to be (I repeat, going to be) a breakout season for the Washington Wizards.
Although they aren't known as a contender, they will be by summer of 2012, so you better start to pay attention to other guys on the team not named John Wall. They will give you 100 percent reason to remember their name this April.
You ready? Let's go.