RAW Roulette comes to us live from Sin City, Nevada.
Shawn Michaels starts us off. He says he tried his hardest to stay away but he just couldn’t do it. He plugs his new show that apparently is coming out on the Outdoors Channel. In comes Punk with the Tag champs.
Punk says Shawn Michaels went out a loser but Punk will go out a winner with the WWE Championship. He is upset because the fans would rather applaud a retired wrestler than beg a current wrestler to stay. Shawn Michaels says it is because he is better than Punk. Punk says they are quite similar but Michaels says while they are similar, “in the end you have your style and I have mine.” He then superkicks Otunga.
Aaaaaaaand cue the GM. Punk will have the first match of the night.
The wheel starts off fast then slows down suspiciously fast and lands on a question mark. Booker explains that Punk will have to fight a mystery opponent who turns out to be Kane. Michaels lands another superkick on McGillicutty to make it one-on-one.
The match starts off and Kane quickly gets the upper hand. A “CM-PUNK!” chant starts to ring out through the stadium. Punk takes advantage by reversing a chokeslam attempt with a sick kick to the head. He reverses another chokeslam attempt but runs into a big boot to the face. Punk goes for a superplex but Kane reverses it and perches on the top rope for his flying clothesline. Punk sees it coming though and ditches the match to lose by count-out. That was a pretty boring match to start us off.
Del Rio will take on Big Show later and Cena will battle R-Truth.
Sin Cara takes the stage next. Looks like we will get our promised match. If Dibiase interrupts this I am not going to be happy. For some reason he decided to grab the top rope as he flipped over this time. Still looked insanely awesome.
Booker is doing a great job of hosting the spinning. Eve gives the roulette a sexy spin and we get a no count-out match!
The match starts off high-paced with Bourne trying to ground Sin Cara. Reversals galore early on. Sin Cara gets the upper hand with some sweet tosses including his crazy springboard somersault arm drag. Bourne reverses a sunset flip into a mule kick for the first pinfall attempt. I literally cannot describe this match. It’s just too high-paced with too many reversals. Do yourselves a favor and watch it on Youtube.
Sin Cara still has the upper hand as he launches himself through the bottom rope to take out Bourne, who was recovering on the outside. Bourne gets the advantage by reversing a fireman’s carry into a hurricanrana. They trade creative pin attempts then Bourne decks Sin Cara with a kick to the head. They go back and forth a bit until Bourne hits a standing moonsault then goes up top for the Air Bourne. He misses, but lands on his feet but gets tossed hard face-first into the mat by Sin Cara’s helicopter head scissor move, which he used to beat Dibiase on Smackdown last week. 1-2-3.
What a match. The fans wanted it and the WWE, Sin Cara, and Evan Bourne delivered.
Kofi is up to give the wheel a spin to see what type of match he will have against Dolph Ziggler. Vicki comes in and spins it instead, and it lands on “Players Choice” which apparently means Kofi gets to chose the type of match. Kofi wants a one-on-one match with no Vicki at ringside.
Money in the Bank is only three weeks away. The contenders for RAW are: Mysterio, Kingston, Bourne, Del Rio, Truth, Swagger, Riley and the Miz. I gotta say right now my favorite to win is the Miz. Unless the rumors of Del Rio vs Cena at Summerslam are true. I can see Del Rio losing and blaming someone, maybe Kofi, for delaying his destiny. Truth’s conspiracy storyline can continue when he loses and the rest haven’t done enough lately to grab the briefcase (although Swagger pretty much grabbed it out of nowhere last year).
Ziggler-Kofi starts off and Ziggler quickly escapes the ring. It becomes a back-and-forth match that spills to the outside. Kofi eats a ringpost right before we hit a commercial break. Ziggler hits Kofi with a sweet leg drop face buster type move for a two count. They brawl a bit until Ziggler tries to toss Kofi over the top ropes. Kofi somehow reverses it then nails Ziggler with a Trouble in Paradise for the win. Not their best match, but still solid nonetheless.
Del Rio interrupts Booker and Maryse, complaining about how he has to face Big Show again. Booker says “I don’t make the matches, I just make the spins.” Maryse gives the wheel a spin then flirts with Del Rio as the wheel comes to a stop on “Steel Cage Match”.
I said it last week but Del Rio’s entrances just aren’t quite the same without Ricardo Rodriguez.
Del Rio immediately tries to escape but Big Show takes him down with a few loud slaps to the back and chest. Del Rio gets the upper hand by going after Big Show’s injured knee. Mark Henry comes out to stalk around the cage. Del Rio put on the worst display of steel cage climbing I’ve ever seen. Big Show super-plexes him off the top rope, and both men are down. Mark Henry rips the steel door off the cage and puts a beat-down on Big Show as Del Rio walks through the now-open door to win the match.
Henry’s not done, however, and he tosses Big Show into the cage and one of the sides of the cage collapses! That was pretty sweet.
Kelly Kelly is up next against Nikki Bella. Booker wants a pillow fight and I can’t say I disagree. We get… a submission match? Maybe this isn’t rigged after all. In a minute-long match Kelly Kelly wins by putting Nikki in the Walls of Jericho then gets a Bella beatdown. Eve comes in to even the score and clean the ring.
Mysterio spins next and gets a tornado match. It will be Mysterio and Riley vs. Swagger and the Miz.
DDP is in the house! He plugs his Monday Nitro DVD. Drew McIntyre crashes the party to call Booker and DDP washed up. He takes a superkick from HBK who says he has never seen any of what is on the DVD but “I’m sure it’s cool”. A little harmless teasing. I like it.
I just learned that I have the same pick to win the Money in the Bank match as Michael Cole. Maybe I didn’t think that one all the way through.
Swagger and Riley get the advantage early on as The Miz goes after Riley and Swagger takes care of Mysterio. Swagger got Mysterio up on his shoulders and The Miz went to the top rope but Mysterio jumped off Swagger and pushed him into The Miz. Riley then Irish-whips Mysterio into Swagger, then jumps up and pulls of a nice hip toss off the top rope.
The Miz and Swagger have the advantage when we return from commercial break. Swagger got Mysterio up over his head then dropped him on The Miz’s knee for a nasty gut-buster. Swagger and Riley spilled outside and The Miz went for a superplex on Mysterio, who knocked The Miz off then hit a seated-senton. Swagger ended up outside again as Mysterio nailed The Miz with a sick kick to the head for a close two-count.
A crazy sequence of events follows. Mysterio had The Miz on the second rope but his 619 attempt got halted by Swagger, who grabbed him and just tossed him outside. Riley hit a spinebuster on Swagger but the pin attempt was broken up by The Miz, who hits a Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT). Never seen that one from The Miz before.
Another crazy sequence. Riley and The Miz go over the top rope, Mysterio runs into a huge boot from Swagger. Mysterio reverses a gutwrench powerbomb into a 619 attempt but Swagger grabs him and puts the ankle lock on Mysterio as he is draped over the second rope. Riley saves the day and Mysterio gets him back on the second rope for what looks like another 619 attempt until Riley hits a crazy dropkick to Swagger’s face from the outside.
619-lifting DDT-frog splash combo for the Team Face win. What a match. Back and forth. Very captivating, with many close calls. High-paced. Good show by all four competitors.
We get a promo video for Shawn Michael’s Outdoors Channel show. I may watch the premier on the slim hope that he superkicks a moose then gives it the good old DX “suck it” groin chop.
Truth will spin the wheel next. He checks it for conspiracies before giving it a whirl. The wheel lands on tables match. Cena doesn’t have the greatest record in these matches. Off the top of my head, he’s lost to Sheamus and Orton in his last two tables match attempts. Could have forgotten one in there somewhere.
“Tonight, John Cena is gonna get got!” This is the most sense R-Truth has made in three years.
The truth shall set you free. The truth is, R-Truth, that you suck.
“R-Truth can go to group therapy alone.” Took Lawler longer than usual to come up with a zinger tonight.
Back and forth early. Cena’s the first to go for a table but gets jumped by Truth. Cena hits Truth with a drop kick, which spurs Lawler to admit “I love it when he dropkicks!” in a way that would make you think he was watching one of the divas.
Truth counters an AA with that front-facelock stunner move he pulls out sometimes, then pulls a table into the ring. Cena reverses a suplex attempt with one of his own, sends Truth outside, then slams him into the steel steps. Two tables are in the ring now as Cena eyes Truth up for the AA, but Punk infiltrates the match and tips over Cena’s table. Cena gets Punk up in the AA, but Truth spears Cena through the table he had set up earlier for the victory. Table matches are not John Cena’s strong suit.
Punk grabs a mike and heads up the ramp. I just realized he’s wearing a Stone Cold shirt. Punk says he actually likes Cena but says he hates the idea that Cena is the best. Punk says he (not Cena) is, in fact, the best.
“There is one thing you’re better at than I am, and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s ass.” He says Cena is almost as good as Hogan at kissing McMahon’s ass and the Rock was the best at kissing McMahon’s ass.
He complains that even though he’s proven to be the best in the ring, on the mic, and on commentary, that he doesn’t get promoted, doesn’t get to be in movies or TV shows or be on collector’s cups. He then puts the nail in the coffin by saying that the people that cheer him are the biggest part of him leaving. The man is on fire right now. By far the best promo I’ve heard from him and that is saying a LOT. I’m upset that this is only going to go on for three more weeks.
I’m really starting to wonder how far the WWE is letting him go and how far past that line he is actually going. You HAVE to check out this promo if you haven’t seen it. He says that the reason he is leaving is because of all the people who, even after he leaves, will continue to pour money into the WWE. He says McMahon is a millionaire who isn’t a billionaire because he surrounds himself with “douchebags" (word that got edited out) like John Lauriniaitis who are going to tell him all that he wants to hear.”
He even goes as far as to say he “would like to think that the company will be better off when Vince McMahon is dead but it’s just going to get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.” His mic got cut off soon after that.
Wow. I have no idea what to say about that. This is either hands down the most well-done storyline the WWE has come up with since I started watching again or Punk is literally going off the wall. It’s that well done that I am really unsure as to which it is.
What a RAW! The Sin Cara-Bourne match lived up to expectations, Big Show got slammed through the steel cage by Mark Henry, the tornado tag match was great, and Punk still ended up stealing a great wrestling show with a promo. I gotta say I am pumped to tune in next week. I’ll have my “Little Jimmy” cousins watching with me so it should be fun. Until next week, you have been a lovely, lovely audience.