I have been fired from numerous jobs; where's my parade?
There were many different reasons for me to lose those many different jobs: incompetence (nobody told me to peel the banana before putting it in the blender), poor hygiene (my religious beliefs preclude me from using toilet paper), sexual harassment (and I still say that photocopier came on to me), inappropriate clothing (it wasn't my fault the wind blew my kilt up; I guess it was my fault I didn't wear underwear that day), treason (I am loyal to the Kaiser) and, in most cases, laziness (I can't think of any examples).
When one is fired, there are only so many ways to fill the day (applying for another job, milking the government teat, etc.) before eventually diving head first into the abyss of television.
While I'm not proud of my almost encyclopedic knowledge of American television, it does make me qualified for finding television lookalikes for NFL head coaches. Which is good, because the only other thing all of that television watching qualifies me for is a lobotomy.
Let's find some NFL head coach doppelgängers and pray that this lockout ends soon so we can get back to talking about, you know, football.