The bout between the enigmatic Lewis and the charismatic Charlie Groenewegen is the Know Your Role Division battle I’m looking forward to the most.
Once glance at Lewis’ profile (which does not include his last name; I’m guessing it’s for legal reasons) will show that this Featured Columnist has the self-proclaimed mouth of Chris Jericho, Christian-like fan dedication, and the Edge-Lita inspired controversial reputation.
Essentially Lewis is one Lance Storm away from being his own Team Canada. To paraphrase and completely misquote Scott Steiner, don’t blame “Mexico North,” blame him.
But if I could be serious for a moment (see what I did there?), Lewis is a diehard WWE fan and can pen an article on the company with such honesty and reality that you’d gladly sell your Aunt Sally if it’d get him a job on the creative team.
For the sake of this battle only, let’s refer to Lewis as Logic.
Opposing Lewis is Charlie Groenewegen, a pro wrestling fan with a robust resume filled with articles that espouse his discontent with the WWE’s current product. In fact, Charlie’s profile states that he’s a “huge TNA fan that is not enthused by WWE’s half-assed antics.”
Okay, his profile doesn’t say that exactly, but it’s close enough. The bottom-line is that Charlie views TNA’s product religiously and is more than likely the reason why their product has been good for two weeks straight for the first time in the company’s history.
For the sake of this battle only, we’ll refer to Charlie as Vince Russo’s Employment.
In case you haven’t figured it out by now, this battle pits Logic against Vince Russo’s Employment. There is no way on God’s green and blue planet that Vince Russo should still be employed logically speaking, but the sheer fact that he still has a job defies all logic!
Our heads are going to explode when these two face one another!
More than likely our collective demise will be caused by the topic they must handle, which focuses on the best female wrestler on the independent pro wrestling circuit today.
Lord knows if either writer has ventured out of their respective war zones long enough to even have a passing clue as to who is wrestling on the independent circuit. I win the bet if Sara Del Ray and Serena Deeb pop up first.
This match up will be the Know Your Role Division’s bowling shoe ugly match, as I’m assuming that both writers will have a difficult time really getting their point across with the assumed lack of knowledge they possess about female wrestlers in independent organizations.
You readers can Wikipedia a list of stats after Googling an independent star, so I would suggest not buying into those types of articles here. Instead, look for the writer who can honestly explain to us why their star is the best female wrestler without resting on championship wins and title reigns.
Free hint: videos of your pick included in your piece could help your argument out tremendously.