Thoughts On The Up Coming Jets-Buffalo Battle From a Patriots Fan.

William  Berry by Senior Analyst Written on October 29, 2008
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I guess it would make sense to root for the Jets, but man...

That's like a Red Sox fan rooting for the Yankees over the Rays.

That's like a Redskin fan rooting for the Cowboys over the Giants.

That is like Emperor Vespian rooting for Attila the Hun against the Visgoths.  (OK, that one is a bit much, and the wrong Roman emperor and barbarians.  Sue me.)

I don't know when I started hating the Jets.  I remember the wild card game in 1985

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198512280nyj.htm

It was extra sweet because it was the fin' Jets, but I don't know why.  I assume something from the old AFL days.

I do know I don't despise the Bills or Dolphins*.  Just regular hate for them.  (*Well it is hard to get a good hate going for Dolphin fans since they can't sell out playoff games, but I digress.)

Maybe it is geography.  New England and NY are close enough to despise each other.

Maybe New Yorkers are just hate-able.  I mean we put out that turd "Boston Legal" and Jet fans get responsibility for flaming turd "Sex in the City."  (Are those still on, btw?)

In recent history you got the cry baby Jets going to the league about a camera on the field.  (Herm Edwards waved to it.  The Packers told them to stop.  Mangini told the teacher.)  Then you get the Jets doing the same thing, but claiming they had permission (must have been a drunk janitor, no one from the Patriots remembers it) and getting away with it.

Then you have Mangini trying to steal laptops and stuff on his last day as a Patriots assistant before he interferes in the Branch thing.

Before that we get the whole "I resign as HC of the NYJ" affair.  Yes, he did not have an offer from Kraft before quitting. (Is that sarcasm obvious?)

Of course, he learned about tampering with an active coach when Parcell's phone bill in New Orleans had calls to the Jets.

Yes, Parcells for Pete Caroll, that was an even switch. (Ditto about sarcasm.)

Can't blame them for Curtis Martin.  Caroll didn't re-sign him out of his own stupidity.  It'd be like blaming the Russians for the marine barracks in Beruit.  I'm sure they enjoyed it, but it wasn't them who ordered sentries to have unloaded weapons.  I'm digressing again, aren't I?

What if they tie?  That's like they each get half a loss.

Naw, that is no good.  They each sort of get half a win too.

A Phyrric Jets victory would still be a Jets win.

I'd normally rather have the joker drive a pencil through my eye than see a Jets win.

I'd normally rather see Obama and McCain wearing Sarah Palin's dress than see a Jets win.

I'd normally rather eat food in London, knowing full well it is sheep's kidneys with a side order of goat intestines*, than see a Jets win.  (*Without ketchup so I could really enjoy that pissy taste.  With a warm beer!)

I'd normally rather get kicked in the gonads and pummeled mercilessly on national television a 13 year old girl than see a Jets win.  (And this is the Youtube age.)

Is there a weird way they can have a double forfeit if neither team can show up through  freak snowstorm?  (It may be a tad early, but Buffalo and lake effect snow... right?)

 

Oh, as for the picture, add a balloon and put in "I really want to kiss you."

 

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Who should I root for?

  • Bills, I mean it is the Jets.
  • Jets, Division lead trumps everything.
  • Bills, The Patriots get their own shot soon enough
  • Bills, do you really need a reason?
  • Bills, because I'm a Jet fan and hate you
  • Jets, because I'm a Jet fan and hate you
  • Bills, because can you realy end this poll with "Jets?"
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Who should I root for?

  • Bills, I mean it is the Jets.

    0.0%
  • Jets, Division lead trumps everything.

    40.0%
  • Bills, The Patriots get their own shot soon enough

    20.0%
  • Bills, do you really need a reason?

    0.0%
  • Bills, because I'm a Jet fan and hate you

    0.0%
  • Jets, because I'm a Jet fan and hate you

    40.0%
  • Bills, because can you realy end this poll with "Jets?"

    0.0%
  • Total votes: 5
(0)
...
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written on October 29, 2008 Humor

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