We've all been in this situation before. You get through the work day, you go to see a ballgame and you show up to watch warm-ups. First pitch is about to be thrown and you're excited. And then here comes that guy (or girl). You know them right when you see them.
Your hopes for a relaxing game just dwindled and now you have to put up with this idiot. Some of you reading this are that guy. So here are the 10 fans you don't want to sit near when you want to have a relaxing day or night at the game (in no particular order).
I think a baseball game is an ideal first date, as long as neither person has an emotional part in the game. If two people want to go on a date to a baseball game, I say go for it. It's like a movie except you can talk. You can be focused on the date, while falling back on entertainment if need be.
However, if I am emotionally invested in a game, I don't want to see two people kissing on a 3-2 pitch. This is up to the couple to be respectful. If you're going to kiss, do it between innings, but don't block my view of the game and distract others around me. Also, if you do have an emotional investment in the game and you're caught kissing at a crucial part of the game, kiss your fanhood (and respect) goodbye.
Signs are nice when you're 12 years old, but when you are an adult are they really necessary? Unless the sign is funny or for your kid, don't hold it up, especially when your favorite player comes to bat. People are trying to watch the game, and signs kind of block people's view.
The player is not going to react to a sign and TV shots only come to open an inning. The camera is focused on the player. So do me a favor, sit down, rip up your sign and let me watch the game.
"Ugh are you kidding me!? That was way outside!" I understand baseball is a frustrating game and fans get upset. But when people groan on every pitch or mistake a player makes, it gets annoying. Every umpire can't get every call right and every player has an off day. Take a deep breath and enjoy the game. I know it's hard sometimes, but for the sake of everyone else, be considerate.
Some people don't know the rules of baseball. I know it is shocking. So when a person who doesn't understand the game is brought to one, the person who does know something may feel the need to explain every little detail about the game as it is happening. Please don't do that.
Can you wait until the middle of the innings so that you are not explaining what a home run is after the clean-up hitter for the visiting team sent a shot to the moon? If you want to explain something to your kid, I'm fine with that, but doing it all game gets repetitive. And annoying.
It is not the adult's fault that the kids are not interested in a slow moving, sometimes boring game. There is a lot of time where nothing is happening in baseball and all of us get bored at some points. Kids are trying to be active in their cramped seat begging people to entertain them. This is where the problem arises.
Adults have to make sure their children are not driving others insane. Get up and go get ice cream or to the team store. Modern stadiums have walkways where you can still watch the game. Walk around the stadium so the kids are happy while you can still watch what's going on. Most kids don't understand the magnitude of the moment, so they are just trying to have their own fun. And don't let your kids run in the rows, that's the worst. It's all for the kids, so keep them occupied.
"Really you have to go to the bathroom again?" "Hey down in front." I wish all stadiums were as empty as in this picture (actually not really then that ruins the atmosphere). This guy makes everyone in the row stand up so he can get out of the aisle again so he can go get something. It's annoying when people always have to go through you to get something to keep them occupied.
If you spend more time going to get something to eat than being in your seat, your fanhood has to be questioned. I'm willing to get up for somebody on all occasions, but how much of something do you need? Sit down and enjoy the game.
Baseball games are meant to be relaxing. What's more relaxing than checking your e-mail every inning? Not only is this detrimental to the experience of that particular fan, but it is distracting waiting for something good to happen for the home team and then watching the e-mail checker's face so he can pretend he knows what happens but in reality didn't see it. Hey chief, he just stole home, maybe next time you should be watching and leave the work to 9-5.
Some hecklers are very funny. Those guys are fun to sit around. Others are terrible and then it is not fun. Josh Hamilton doesn't need to be told again that he took cocaine; it doesn't get in his head anymore. Also, stop calling out players' moms; it's not funny and it's old.
The best part is that fans think they are tough in the stands when the players would be heavily criticised for going and beating a fan up. But everyone knows that any ball player could destroy just about every fan in the ball park. Not to mention the heckler would never say something like that to anybody on the street. Shut up and let the players play. I'm all for group chants in unison deriding a player (such as a "steroids" chant) but one guy is just annoying (even including "hey batter batter swing").
Is there anything more awkward than sitting at a game with your family and hearing the guy behind you shout an obscenity. I understand people know what they are getting into by purchasing a ticket to a game as all fans are not so friendly, but come on. One or two curses is fine, but shouting them an obscene amount of times is just obnoxious. Have you ever seen a section without kids in it? I understand people get upset at games, but control yourself. Sit down and grow up.
Drinking responsibly at games is encouraged. Why not have a good time at a game? Drinking one or two or three beers is fine. I have no problem with that. It's these idiots who go and drink seven beers, and all of a sudden they think they are invincible.
Is there anything more awkward than listening to a drunk guy talk and tell everyone how sober he/she is (or how drunk if he/she is a wise guy)? If you go to a game just to get smashed, save yourself some money and drink at a bar. Just make sure you get someone to drive you home.
Fans should call stadium security to calm this idiot down before he embarrasses himself (or aftere if the sober people want a show). Sit down and shut up, you're drunk and nobody cares, but you're ruining everyone's night.
These are the 10 people I least like to sit with. They are a night ruiner and should be avoided at all cost. If anything, just move down or change seats, nobody will notice. At least then you'll enjoy the night.
Thanks for reading and as always feel free to comment
If anyone can name the field that is pictured, comment the answer and you win my respect
Always be respectful of other fans (unless they root for the visiting team then it is fair game)