25 Sexiest Future MILFs in Sports
There comes a time when most every woman, especially a hot famous one, must make a decision that not only affects herself but those around her.
It is the harrowing decision to become a mother.
Now, when the average woman has a child, they put on a few pounds and lose the college figure they were most proud of.
But then there are the ladies that throw up the double middle fingers toward mother nature because they still have rocking bods. I have a feeling that all of the women on this list will be able to tell mother nature to suck it.
While we men have no clue what it is like to create a human being inside of us, we do respect a female that can somehow get back to the hot bod they once had after having a human being pass through them.
These delightful gifts from God are otherwise known as MILF's: Mom's I'd Like to Finagle.
The 25 ladies on this list are either married and in serious relationships. Most likely, a baby is on its way. I know that they would make wonderful mothers and baby mamas for you and I. A few already have had children but look so hot that I have forgotten they have kids.
Plus, they are with an athlete, which means that in 20 years, we will probably see their children doing athletic feats once thought impossible.
God bless MILF's.
No. 25: Krystle Campbell
News leaked that Campbell and Ryan Howard were planning their engagement in April.
I'm not sure when the couple will have their first child, but I am sure it will be a gargantuan sized baby. If Campbell can have Howard's man child the natural way, this lady deserves a purple heart.
If she really does have that kid the natural way, Barack Obama should put all world events on hold and honor that accomplishment. Because that would honestly be the most astonishing moment of my entire life, I swear it.
No. 24: Stephenie LaGrossa
LaGrossa is married to Phillies relief pitcher Kyle Kendrick and was a contestant on Survivor: Palau, Survivor: Guatemala, and Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.
LaGrossa and Kendrick are set to have their first child, which is expected to arrive in September of this year.
Kendrick and LaGrossa will be able to pass along the essential advice on how to survive a deserted island while a camera crew is following your every move.
No. 23: Hilary Duff
Duff is currently married to Mike Comrie of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Perhaps the couple has yet to have a kid because I hear that your first born is taken away from you by the ghost of Walt Disney if you ever leave his beloved company.
But I will believe anything.
No. 22: Emily Kuchar
2008 Miss Daytona Beach and Zack Grienke are married and have known each other since high school.
Kuchar was a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.
As enjoyable as it is to watch Grienke pitch, I don't want Kuchar to be a MILF of a bad ass male pitcher.
I want all girls.
The more Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, the better it is for civilization.
No. 21: Shannon Schambeau
2005 Miss D.C. and John Patterson have been married since 2007 and yet, don't have a child.
That is, unless they have kept it hidden in the basement for an extended period of time because I haven't found any evidence on the internet that they do, in fact, have offspring.
If their child has the same rockin' abs of Shannon, I will have no choice but to scream Sham-Wow!
No. 20: Karina Smirnoff
Smirnoff is currently engaged to Brad Penny.
I follow Karina on Twitter only because I want to be able to know how the conversation went with her child (whenever that may be) about her showing her goods to the world in Playboy.
I have honestly always wanted to know how that conversation goes.
No. 19: Candice Crawford
Romo and Crawford married on May 28, 2011.
Crawford is only 24, so I am sure the couple will wait a few years before having a kid.
But I won't waste any time to beg Lady Luck that this pair give us a daughter or two. I don't want any chance of one of their sons getting drafted by the Chicago Bears and inevitably choking away a playoff game
No. 18: Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer is Felipe Lopez's better half.
I hope these two were set up via a blind date and Felipe was disappointed to find out that his date wasn't J Lo. Not to say this Jennifer Lopez isn't attractive because she is a total babe.
I just feel sorry for their future children because their entire life they will have to live through everyone constantly being disappointed that their mother isn't that Jennifer Lopez.
No. 17: Noureen DeWulf
DeWulf is engaged to be married to Buffalo Sabres goaltender Ryan Miller.
No word yet on when the couple is planning on having a child, but I hope they wait until the show Outsourced is no longer on television.
I just don't feel that it's fair to bring a child into a world that allows a pitiful show like that to exist.
No. 16: Kristin Cavallari
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari announced that they are getting hitched a few months ago.
I already feel sorry for their kid, despite the fact that he/she will undoubtedly have perfect features and a rocket arm.
This child will have to grow up in an environment where all it will hear is how everyone hates it's aloof father and self-proclaimed bitchy mother.
But maybe, just maybe, the kid will have so many toys that it will be completely oblivious to all the negative chatter about his/her parents.
No. 15: Joanna Garcia
Garcia and Yankees outfield Nick Swisher wed last year in December.
If these two have a kid half as cool as Nick Swisher, then they just had a kid that is cooler than about 75 percent of the rest of the world.
With Garcia having some of her earliest roles being in Clarissa Explains it All, Are You Afraid of the Dark and Step by Step, I see their potential child having no trouble be super awesome.
No. 14: Christy Oglevee
Christy Oglevee sacrificed her job for her current husband Chris Cooley.
Because Christy was a cheerleader for the Washington Redskins while Cooley was playing there, they weren't allowed to date.
But you can't help love and the two dated and wed anyway.
Maybe the two will have a rebellious child.
Judging from this picture, I know they sure won't clean their room.
No. 13: Kim Kardashian
Kardashian and Humphries' engagement was recently under red alert after New England Patriots defensive back Bret Lockett claimed to have had an affair with Kim K for five months.
Then Lockett admitted on HLN's Showbiz Tonight that he has never actually physically met her.
Whew. I thought Humphries Jr., a future power forward who could push everyone around in the paint with his massive ass, was in jeopardy.
I can sleep now.
No. 12: Elisha Cuthbert
Cuthbert is in a serious relationship with Toronto Maple Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf.
Luckily, her sitcom Happy Endings has been renewed, laying the groundwork for their future child, who has yet to be created, to be spoiled by his/her mother raking in the dough from a sitcom.
I have actually never seen Happy Endings.
Is it about the weird and wacky day in the life of a employee in a massage parlor?
No. 11: Sarah Brandner
Bastain Schweinsteiger and Brander live together in Munich.
I hope these two get married as soon as possible and have a dozen babies just so I can have a better chance at having an excuse to scream Schweinsteiger in the future.
Seriously. Do it. Yell "Schweinsteiger!' and tell me it isn't the most satisfying thing you have ever done, ever.
No. 10: Jessica Simpson
Simpson is currently engaged to Eric Johnson, who currently is floating in the purgatory that is free agency.
Now would be the perfect time to pump out a kid so Johnson can beg an NFL team to take him.
"Please Coach! You gotta help me! I have a kid!"
No. 9: Gabrielle Union
Union is in a pretty serious relationship with Dwyane Wade.
I don't know if you've heard of him, but Dwyane Wade is on the Miami Heat.
Wade and Union were accused of acting inappropriately in front of Wade's young children.
If Union was wearing this outfit, and I was one of Wade's son's, I would be bragging about that alleged moment for the rest of my life. In an argument about my dad could beat up your dad, I'd reply, who cares. He is with Gabrielle Union.
The two should have a child of their own just so I can witness hater's hating Wade's kid.
No. 8: Emma Anderrson
Anderrson is married to hockey player Henrik Zetterberg.
She is 32, so they might want to get on the kid train while they are still able to get on board.
But who am I to tell her what to do.
If she is going to lay topless with leopard skin underwear, she can do whatever she wants with her life for all I care.
No. 7: Tanya Robinson
Robinson and English footballer Stephen Taylor are currently dating.
Some of you may think that Robinson getting breast implants and posing topless might not be respectable behavior and that those actions may haunt her as a mother.
I say hogwash. I think her child would want her to give her gift for the rest of the world to enjoy.
No. 6: Carrie Underwood
Underwood is married to Mike Fisher, now a member of the Nashville Predators.
Underwood is gorgeous and a great singer, while Fisher is a professional hockey player.
Basically, her future child will be able to do anything and everything, making it a modern day Greek god.
I wouldn't be surprised if the child is born with a super power that can produce angels from the sky and also blow up buildings with a killer slap shot.
No. 5: Brooklyn Decker
Brooklyn Decker is married to the American tennis player Andy Roddick. The couple has been married since 2009 and has yet to produce offspring together.
I would just like to thank them for not having one too soon. Decker is only 24. Let me enjoy her for a few more years.
Now, I don't know the two personally. But I do know that the potential child will grow up being healthy and strong, never suffering from malnutrition, especially during infancy.
Let's just hope A-Rod doesn't have one of his legendary outbursts.
No. 4: Evelyn Lozada
Lozada is currently engaged to Chad Ochocinco, who has warned everyone to not ever get engaged because you immediately fall prisoner and lose freedom.
I could have told you that.
Anyways, whenever these two do finally get married and eventually have a kid, you know that their child is going to be the type of kid who climbs on refrigerators and paints on the teacher.
Their kid will most definitely be described as "unique."
I just have a feeling.
No. 3: Zuleyka Rivera
J.J. Barea and Miss Universe have been dating since March.
It's pretty early to say if this relationship will get serious enough to have kids.
But I do know that if they do and the two actually decide to have a child, that kid will be bigger than Barea right out of the womb.
No. 2: Minka Kelly
Esquire's sexiest woman alive is engaged to the Yankees captain Derek Jeter.
The Jeter's have created a blueprint on how to live the American dream.
I predict this couple has two children.
They will of course have one boy and one girl, while living in a mansion with a picket fence in the nicest neighborhood in town.
Uncle Sam would have to remove a single tear of happiness from his cheek looking at these two.
No. 1: Irina Shayk
Shayk has been dating Cristiano Ronaldo since May of last year.
If these two had a kid, I think it would throw the earth off of its axis.
It just wouldn't be fair to be that good looking and that athletic without some sort of negative consequence.
Please, for mankind. Just give their kid a snaggle tooth or something.
That is, if Ronaldo can actually stay with her.