The Hangover Cure: Week 9

The trip to the woodshed that was Florida’s 63-5 win over Kentucky looked so effortless, so free of actual exertion, that Nicolas Cage and Keanu Reeves are going to star in the movie.

Everything the Gators did on Saturday looked easy. Tim Tebow threw a pick and fumbled twice; but he picked up those fumbles and the defense turned that turnover into just a field goal for the Wildcats. Jeff Demps wasn’t used as often or as creatively as against LSU, but he still managed to turn himself from the fourth or fifth receiver on a pass play to the touchdown scorer, blazing past the ghost of Bob Hayes and the entire Kentucky defense on the sort of exhilarating play Percy Harvin’s supposed to make. Harvin was an effortless scorer twice, on a sweep and on a perfect pass from a harassed Tebow, and, more importantly, he didn’t get hurt. Ahmad Black scored on a interception that was forced by pressure from both the defensive line and the linebackers. Tebow was more effective on the ground than he has been since last year.

Oh, and the offensive and defensive line, now becoming the maulers this team’s been lacking since 2006, pounded Kentucky on both sides.

The rap on UF during Tebow’s tenure as quarterback is that the team revolved around him on offense and rejected the very idea of defense.

This year, minus a baffling loss to Ole Miss that was unexpected then and seems like an homage to past teams now, that hasn’t been the case. Florida has been a diverse, Swiss Army Spread on offense, the R(ainey) and D(emps) Department’s vaunted Quantum Wing whirring at full blast as quark-sized speedsters slip through seams and burn turf en route to points, while the defense has been opportunistic at times and solid throughout, struggling only with gimmick formations and mobile quarterbacks.

Tebow’s been asked to make the plays he needs to in the passing game and resist the urge to ram himself into large and vicious men; he’s done that. The defense has been asked to shut down teams instead of hanging onto leads, and it’s done that.

This was a depleted Kentucky team, to be sure, wiped by a physical, emotional, comeback win over Arkansas last week and pockmarked by injuries all over both sides of the ball. But some of these same players factored into the scare that the Wildcats put into Alabama in Tuscaloosa. It was clear from early in the first quarter that the Gators would not be allowing the same thing to happen to them.

Friday night, the Steve Miller Band played Gator Growl, UF’s annual homecoming pep rally. Saturday afternoon, the show was in the Swamp.

And with Halloween on the horizon, these Gators are rounding into terrifying form.

All Summer Long

All summer long, we heard about how good USC and Ohio State were, that they were young teams who started clicking late last year and were putting their talent together to resemble the behemoths of yesteryear.

Nope. Wrong. Not happening, not even with assists from some of their past assets.

Ohio State’s line is Olsen twin-thin, and Terrelle Pryor’s mobility has been covering for that for a few weeks; it’s the Troy Smith Theory at Ohio State, that a mobile quarterback can cover for other things. And Beanie Wells is one of the better running backs the Buckeyes have had since Eddie George.

But James Laurinaitis is a pale imitation of Hawks and Katzenmoyers past, this offense doesn’t have anything like Ted Ginn or Terry Glenn.

Likewise, Mark Sanchez is more John David Booty than Matt Leinart or Carson Palmer. Joe McKnight, for all the wishes heaped upon him, is not Reggie Bush, and the stable of wide receivers in no way resembles Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Williams, or Dwayne Jarrett.

So it doesn’t matter that this is one of the best collections of defensive talent that’s been together for the Trojans, from Brian Cushing and Rey Maualuga to Taylor Mays. Against half-decent teams like Arizona, who USC edged 17-10, it’s going to take everything the defense has to keep the inconsistent and mistake-prone offense in the game. There’s not many of those left on the schedule, so USC is going to have as good a shot at Miami as any other one-loss team.

But we should remember that these teams are not what we thought they were.

Viva la Vida

Somewhere along the way this year, Florida and Georgia swapped brains.

Now, it’s the Gators who are on the warpath, while the Dawgs fight every week with explosive offense and exploding defense.

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