NBA Finals 2011: 5 Things Mark Cuban Can Get the Mavericks Besides a Ring
"I'll tell you something, I might not get rings. Rings are old school."
So what would be an appropriate gift for the Mavericks or any team? Let's find out.
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Yes, championship belts are a little flashy, but everything is big in Texas. Seen most recently in the big four sports by Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers after winning the Super Bowl, a championship belt is the ultimate announcement that yes, you have arrived, and no, you won't be flying or swimming with it on anytime soon.
Damn the Stanley Cup. What professional athletes really need to start pimping is a chalice. What baller in their right mind would not want to have a chalice?
Not only would a small one be good to display on a shelf at home, but could you imagine going out on the town with a chalice? It has all the things you want in an award—sleek, multipurpose (holding food or liquids) and, you have to admit, the perfect accompaniment to a ring and a big turkey leg.
Well, since the Mavs did slay the King—why wouldn't they want matching swords? I mean, let's think about this for a second. The sword could be engraved with the final score of every team they beat in the deciding game of the playoffs—Portland, LA, Oklahoma City, Miami. Like the Highlander: There can be only one...
Honorable mention in this category goes to battle axe.
Well, LeBron James hasn't earned his, so there should be plenty to pass around. A crown represents power, legitimacy, immortality, righteousness, victory, triumph, honor and glory.
While we're at it, Cuban should give each player a throne, some subjects and enough Dairy Queen Blizzards to give the state of Texas a case of lactose intolerance.
Championship Flag Plant
Consider Michigan State vs. Notre Dame from a few years back, in 2005. How great would it be for championship teams to be legally allowed to plant a flag outside the stadium of the team they just owned?
Kids nowadays don't have time to read history, so I propose visible representations of a team's ineptitude. Probably wouldn't work as well with the Buffalo Bills and Atlanta Braves.
Honorable mention: random pirate booty.