NBA Finals 2011: 5 Things Mark Cuban Can Get the Mavericks Besides a Ring

Jordan ClarkeContributor IIIJune 13, 2011

NBA Finals 2011: 5 Things Mark Cuban Can Get the Mavericks Besides a Ring

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    MIAMI, FL - JUNE 12:  Team owner Mark Cuban of the Dallas Mavericks is interviewed in the locker room after the Mavericks won 105-95 againstv the Miami Heat in Game Six of the 2011 NBA Finals at American Airlines Arena on June 12, 2011 in Miami, Florida.
    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    While being interviewed during NBA TV's postgame show by host Matt Winer, Mark Cuban, owner of the Mavericks, was asked just how big of a ring he was planning to get for his players. Cuban responded:

    "I'll tell you something, I might not get rings. Rings are old school."

    So what would be an appropriate gift for the Mavericks or any team? Let's find out.

Championship Belts

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    ARLINGTON, TX - FEBRUARY 06:  Aaron Rodgers #12 and Clay Matthews #52 of the Green Bay Packers of the Green Bay Packers holds the Lombardi Trophy after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25 during Super Bowl XLV at Cowboys Stadium on February 6, 2011 in
    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Yes, championship belts are a little flashy, but everything is big in Texas. Seen most recently in the big four sports by Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers after winning the Super Bowl, a championship belt is the ultimate announcement that yes, you have arrived, and no, you won't be flying or swimming with it on anytime soon.

Chalice

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    Damn the Stanley Cup. What professional athletes really need to start pimping is a chalice. What baller in their right mind would not want to have a chalice?

    Not only would a small one be good to display on a shelf at home, but could you imagine going out on the town with a chalice? It has all the things you want in an award—sleek, multipurpose (holding food or liquids) and, you have to admit, the perfect accompaniment to a ring and a big turkey leg.

Sword

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    Well, since the Mavs did slay the King—why wouldn't they want matching swords? I mean, let's think about this for a second. The sword could be engraved with the final score of every team they beat in the deciding game of the playoffs—Portland, LA, Oklahoma City, Miami. Like the Highlander: There can be only one...

    Honorable mention in this category goes to battle axe.

Crown

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    Well, LeBron James hasn't earned his, so there should be plenty to pass around. A crown represents power, legitimacy, immortality, righteousness, victory, triumph, honor and glory.

    While we're at it, Cuban should give each player a throne, some subjects and enough Dairy Queen Blizzards to give the state of Texas a case of lactose intolerance.

Championship Flag Plant

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    Consider Michigan State vs. Notre Dame from a few years back, in 2005. How great would it be for championship teams to be legally allowed to plant a flag outside the stadium of the team they just owned?

    Kids nowadays don't have time to read history, so I propose visible representations of a team's ineptitude. Probably wouldn't work as well with the Buffalo Bills and Atlanta Braves.

    Honorable mention: random pirate booty.