25 Bold Predictions for Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Kris Humprhries, Lamar Odom
The Kardashians are reality TV royalty. Apparently they are NBA fans as well. Khloe Kardashian is married to Lakers’ star Lamar Odom, and sister Kim is now newly engaged to Nets’ forward Kris Humphries.
So what is one the horizon for the young and glamorous couples? They have already conquered the TV and sports world, so what is next? Here are 25 bold predictions for the Kardashians and their husbands in 2011…
25. Reese Witherspoon Will Not Be Invited to the Wedding
Actress Reese Witherspoon went on the attack against Kim Kardashian, talking about her sex tape and how being a bad girl is not nearly as cool as she thinks it is.
I have a feeling that Reese will not be at the reception.
24. The Kardashian-Humphries Wedding Outdoes the Royal Wedding
Think about the general glitz and glamour that consumes the average Kim Kardashian day. Now multiply it by 1,000 and square it to the millionth degree. That’s a big number. Ok so my math isn’t strong, but you get what I am saying.
The Royal wedding will look like a Las Vegas, Elvis themed marriage ceremony between two strangers compared to this. The celebrity cameo meter will be off the charts, and the TV cameras will be following the couple like never before.
Humphries, who plays in front of thousands (well…) of people at the Prudential Center each night, will have paparazzi cameras in his face every step of the way. Can he handle the pressure? We will have to wait and see to find out.
23. Kris Humphries Signs with the Milwaukee Bucks and Kim Leaves Him
No disrespect to the Bucks, but the team popped into my head the second I thought of a middle of the road team in a boring part of the country. Kim seems like a girl that needs to live on the coasts, near some big cities.
A move to Milwaukee, Wisconsin might put a damper on her cosmopolitan life and make their relationship a little rocky. Even though New Jersey is the armpit of America, its within shouting distance on NYC.
If you can’t pay $12 for a beer, then why buy it at all?
22. Kris Humphries Signs with the Lakers and a Bromance Is Formed
It would take a great deal of maneuvering for Kris Humphries to find himself in a crowded Lakers frontcourt, but this is my list, and you can’t tell me what to do!
Playing side-by-side, giving high fives, and carpooling to and from the arena are all possibilities for the couple. Their friendship would blossom, making their wives happy, and in turn making them happy.
Think Miami Vice or the Lethal Weapon series. This could be the start of something great.
21. Lamar and Kris Do Commercials Together
Lamar Odom is used to the big screen, starring in his own commercial. Now it is time to bring best bud and brother-in-law Kris Humphries into the mix. Maybe they can endorse Coke or Pepsi, or do a cute PSA together about the dangers of drugs.
All in all, it would be cool to see them together, with the urging of their wives of course, to enjoy some quality time.
20.Kourtney Kardashian Marries Blake Griffin for a Power Forward Husband as Well
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Now that sisters Khloe and Kim have NBA husbands, Kourtney Kardashian will undoubtedly hit the market for her own NBA star. Blake Griffin is the prime suspect. He is stationed in Los Angeles, is one of the biggest names in the game, and has the show-time marketability the Kardashians look for.
Estimated time of relationship: T-minus one month after the wedding.
Does anyone else get the feeling that they have some ulterior motive to start their own NBA franchise? They say you should build your frontline first.
19. Khloe Gets Pregnant!
Is she or isn’t she, that is the question. The saga continues as each episode of Khloe and Lamar gets more and more intense each day that she is not pregnant.
The best part of this tabloid picture is the circle around her stomach, showing that a small bump means she is absolutely pregnant. This reminds me of a John Madden called game. Random circles are being drawn all over the screen, supposedly representing things that nobody else sees.
Despite all of this, I have looked into my crystal ball and I see a baby.
I. Am. Austin-damus.
18. Kim Finds out the Ring Was Fake
Look at the picture and you can see the ring looks bigger than her thumb. A $2 million ring is not too shabby for a guy that only made $3.2 million last year. Society (women’s magazines, uhum, uhum), say that a man should spend three month salary on an engagement ring.
Doing the quick math, Humphries had to play about 54.6 games to earn that amount. That is a pretty steep price for a free agent in a year where there is a potential lock out.
So, my theory is, he went to the local arcade and fished it out of the claw game. Now, anyone with experience in the game knows the effort is worth at least $100,000.
Retail price of the ring: 5 cents.
She finds out and kicks him to the curb.
17. Kris Takes Her Last Name
Mark Thompson/Getty Images
I don’t mean to sound like a chauvinist, but I’m gunna. There is nothing more emasculating than a man taking his wife’s last name.
If we were to ever see it happen, this would be the time. Kardashian is one of the biggest names in media and entertainment to the point that Humphries would be upgrading his status.
I could imagine Kris having to go to the Nets’ front office and tell them that he does not want to change his number, just the name on the back of the jerseys. Kim would pay the cost to buy all the old ones and burn them so he could hear the Kardashian name proud.
16. Odom and Humphries Get into a Brawl, Damaging Their Relationship
Stephen Dunn/Getty Images
No, my wife is hotter. Noooo, mine is.
After a miraculous run by the New Jersey Nets to the 2012 NBA finals, where they face the Los Angeles Lakers, a fight breaks out after a hard foul by Humphries on Odom. A brawl ensues, and the brother-in-laws beat the heck out of each other.
Could this be the best NBA subplot of all time…?
That is a resounding yes.
15. Jay-Z Makes a Surprise Performance at Kris and Kim's Wedding
Chris McGrath/Getty Images
This one might actually happen. Minority Nets owner and rap mogul Jay-Z is most definitely on the guest list for the shindig, and wherever he goes, everyone wants to hear him lay down a line or two.
The Kardashian-Humphries wedding will be that much better if Mr. Z decides to step up to the stage and do a little improve session.
Something tells me Humphries will not be able to dance to anything to puts out there.
14. Miles Austin, Ray J, and Damon Thomas All Crash the Wedding
Kim Kardashian has some of the most high profile ex-boyfriends (Damon Thomas was her husband) in the world. She has been with other athletes, singers, and record producers, yet she decided that Humphries was the one to settle down with.
I foresee all of her exs coming together for a vindictive wedding crash for the ages. Their mere presence would cause up a stir and their ultimate goal would be for one of them to land the third Kardashian sister, Kourtney.
13. Lamar And/Or Kris Have a Crazy One on One Game at the Family Barbecue
Who says that family barbecues can’t be overly dramatic and competitive?
There has to be a regulation basketball hoop installed somewhere at the Kardashian estate where the two can duel it out for Kardashian supremacy.
Next thing you know, people are throwing money onto the pavement, placing bets like its 1992 and we are watching White Men Can't Jump.
Winner: ODOM… I can’t be that bold…
12. Kim Gets Pregnant Before Khloe
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Khloe has been trying to get pregnant for a very long time, and in typical Kim fashion, I have a hunch that she will outdo her sister once again and get pregnant as soon as she and Kris get married.
I think it is a little out there to call it a sibling rivalry, but if we are being bold anyway, might as well go the whole distance.
11. Kris and Kim Get a Show
First there was “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. Then there was “Kourtney and Khloe in Miami” followed by “Kourtney and Kim take New York”. Finally, we were blessed with “Khloe and Lamar”, the final spinoff.
Well, I see a Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries spinoff in the works soon after their marriage. They both are compelling stars (well Kris can learn to be) that will always have us wanting more. Millions of people already watch the other shows, so why not keep giving them out?
10. Odom and Humphries Get into a Twitter War
It is all the rage to get in a war of words with someone at 140 characters or less these days. @RealLamarOdom and @KrisHumphries will get into one of these shameful twitter battles that will damage their brother-in-law relationship and split the family.
9. Lamar Sells the Family Fortune for the Deed to the Willy Wonka Factory
Lamar Odom’s candy obsession is well documented. Bags and bags of candy are consumed for the Lakers’ star day after day, bringing into question his eating habits and his self-control.
I predict that Odom will take this to the next level and buy his own candle conglomerate so that he has a non-stop flow of sugary snacks. In doing so, he will bankrupt the family by eating all of the product and force Khloe to support him.
8. Mikhail Prokhorov Sells the New Jersey Nets to the Kardashians
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The Kardashians are a very rich family with a clear thirst for basketball. Prokhorov is a businessman who will do what it takes to make money. If the Kardashians pool their money, they could buy the team from the Russian billionaire and then Kim could legally and officially own her husband.
I also have a feeling that the nets would attract some more big name players with an owner that looks like this.
7. Kim and Kris Dont Sign a Prenuptial Agreement and Kim Ends Up Paying Kris
I know they are in the works to sign the prenuptial agreement as we speak, but it is fun to play the guessing game.
In the fantasy world we are living in, Kris and Kim split up and he gets to collect alimony because she makes more money. Humphries is a due a nice pay raise this offseason, but it will still pales in comparison to the annual salary his future wife makes.
6. Kim and Khloe Get into a Fight and Lamar and Kris Are Not Allowed to Hangout
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Anyone that has ever watched a show involving Kim and Khloe know that they like to fight over essentially anything.
The feud that puts them over the edge may be about borrowing someone’s shirt or something else stupid like that, but it is bound to happen eventually.
Then of course Odom and Humphries get dragged into it and they are not allowed to hangout. Just a shame.
5. The NBA Lockout Makes the Couples Spend Too Much Time Together
When people go on strike, they don’t work – it is that simple. So in the event of a potential NBA lockout, I could imagine having Odom and Humphries spending more time at home than ever before.
This will be nice at first, but then will quickly turn into a nightmare for the girls. NBA players need constant action, and when your bored, you get into trouble. One can only wonder what an NBA player does with that much free time.
4. Humphries and Odom Will Both Be Traded... for Each Other!
Okay the last part might be a stretch. But in an effort to beef up the front line, the Lakers will trade Odom to the Nets in a sign and trade scenario.
There is a huge sigh of relief for Kim, who is worried that her man will be stuck in the swamps of New Jersey for another year. You could hear Khloe screaming NOOOOO!!! all the way from here to the other side of the world.
3. Kim and Kris' New Show Outdoes Khloe and Lamar's
Kim and Kris’ new show that I predict will come to fruition will outdo Khloe and Lamar’s show that currently airs on E!. The new show will have the hotter of the sisters and the goofier basketball player.
I think people want to know a little more about Kris Humphries who was born and raised in Minnesota, out of the limelight. Kim is very intriguing in her own right, and people love her already. Their show would be an instant hit and kick Khloe and Lamar off the station.
2. Lamar and Kris Make a Spinoff Called, Kris and Lamar: Having Real Jobs
Hey, if Kim, Khloe and the rest of the Kardashians can make money just living there lives, all the power to them.
But, like most people, Odom and Humphries have REAL jobs that require actually going to work and doing things. This would be a mind-blowing experience for the women in their live to see what it is like to earn a paycheck.
1.We Haven't Heard the End of Reggie Bush
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Kim and Reggie dated for almost three years, before breaking up in 2010. Humphries is now the third guy off the rebound for Kardashian, who is finally settling down.
I can imagine Bush coming in Dustin Hoffman style at the end of “The Graduate,” and stealing Kim away from the bashfully goofy Nets’ power forward. Like Hoffman, I don’t know whether he actually wants her, or just doesn’t want her to end up with a guy like Humphries.