The South American continent holds a special place in the hearts of many people, be they tourists blissfully unaware of the lurking sunburn, tough-talking drug cartels in search of a safe haven for their operations or the enthusiastic football fan saving every penny for a trip to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup. It is the continent that gave us the storied rivalry of Pele and Maradona, the sport's greatest shock of the "Maracanaso" and the increasingly bizarre succession of hairstyles of Ronaldo.
And seeing as how FIFA
Führer President Sepp Blatter has condemned traveling fans to death by racism and stabbing in 2018, and death by sheer heat in 2022, we might as well celebrate football and the South American continent while we still can.
Incidentally, following the widespread circulation of the Barack Obama anagram "AKA a car bomb", another one is fast gaining popularity in sporting circles. This anagram—of Sepp Blatter—is reportedly "a corrupt, dinar-loving weasel" although what happened to the second "t" remains a mystery.
This week, we look at those South American players causing waves in the transfer market. A point was made to exclude any South American youngsters plying their trade in Europe, as those players already receive more than their fair share of the limelight. Instead, the spotlight was cast on those who currently play for a South American club and as a result, slip under the radar of the average football fan.
David Luiz, Alexandre Pato and Alexis Sanchez are just a few of the top South American footballers we will not talk about. Also, despite vastly improved performances this season, Liverpool's Lucas Leiva is still little better than a steaming pile of elephant feces. We concede that last bit is completely irrelevant, but it is just something that needs to be said from time to time.
So let us enthrall you, entertain you and tickle your funny bone with the tale of our search for the Top 5 diamonds in the South American coffee pot. Or, you know, something similar that is not a meaningless cross of two unrelated metaphors.