April is gone, May is on its way out and June is upon us. That means Major League Baseball is in full swing, and...well...hey, isn't it time we took a look at some hot girls in baseball jerseys?
Here's a look at the finest bearers of MLB cloth out there. If you are upset that your team is not represented, contact your local retailer. Or something.
We suppose there are a couple of ways to define "baseball jersey."
Our narrowest definition, of course, would be "A uniform shirt worn by a Major League Baseball player, as officially licensed by Major League Baseball and the Major League Baseball Players Association."
Our broadest definition, though, would be "Something worn by someone playing baseball."
Frankly, we favor the latter.
There is something about the way this uniform fits on this particular baller that makes us think that it is too tight.
Indeed, it is so stretched that one cannot tell whether she is wearing Angels gear or Rangers gear.
We cannot quite put our finger on it.
They play baseball in Asia, as it turns out, and for what it is worth, we believe this photo is deserving of kudos.
The majority of baseball uniform pictorial shots involve either cleavage-centered shots, or action shots.
This shot manages to work in both.
We have no idea what the context is here, but we will take it.
Okay, let us forget the limitations of playing in skirts.
This girl is never going to get anywhere with a bat of that size.
The neat thing about Major League Baseball has always been its subtlety.
We do not do scantily clad cheerleaders or dance squads like the NBA or NFL.
Instead, we roll with wholesome, girl next door types throwing us t-shirts.
And we love it.
Of course, we can also ratchet up the action a notch, as seen her with this girl who seems to take great delight in shooting t-shirts out of that gun.
And, of course, we are not above roping off a section of the concourse and asking some of our loveliest girls to engage in some synchronized walking.
One has to be in awe of how these girls move with the exact same stride and the exact same level of arm swing.
Unless, of course, they may actually be dancing.
It is a formula that simple to follow, but bears priceless fruit:
Attractive girl + Baseball jersey = good time had by all.
She's on the right track, baby, because she was born this way.
Of course, sometimes we take celebrities known around the world for their sexy/campy three-way seen with Matt Dillon and Neve Campbell, put'em in a long-sleeve black-tee and jersey, and it works.
Denise Richards Fan: "Denise Richards makes any jersey hot."
Chicago Cubs Fan: "The Cubs jersey makes any girl hot."
Of course, combine the two, as with 90210 star Jessica Lowndes here, and you have a perfect recipe for success.
Chicago Cubs tube top: awesome.
Chicago Cubs jersey slung over the shoulder: also awesome.
Black holster slung low on the hip: priceless.
Of course, subtlety is not everybody's cub of tea.
Some people need to go all out and reveal their assets for all to see.
We imagine it can be quite uninhibiting to be both naked and dressed at the same time.
One question: Which ballpark kiosk provides this service?
Here is a situation wherein a perfectly lovely girl is dressed in a perfectly lovely way, and the baseball jersey makes her sexy.
It is a wondrous thing.
Of course, it does not always have to be that way . . .
. . . at the other end of the spectrum, we have sexiness brought about by baseball jersey in a completely different manner, and it still works.
By the way, we think this girl is advocating for peace in a way that I think we can all get behind.
I know you. Aimee Teegarden. Loved you in FNL. And the jersey? Lovely.
Hey Kendra, remember that time your husband let a game-changing on-side kick bounce off his face in the Super Bowl?
Oh wait, this is not a Saints trash-talk slideshow. Sorry. Move along.
You look lovely.
Do not worry about holding onto your hat.
It is not your hat whose ability to stay in place concerns us.
Again, concerns about the heals. And the lack of protection on the legs.
Oh, wait, we're not judging these girls on the efficacy of their equipment?
Okay. Never mind. Game on.
Don't ask us why, but we love Holly Madison. Just love her.
And she is fabulous here.
Does the fact that she is wearing a Las Vegas 51's jersey add to the overall allure?
We think so.
Okay, new rule.
From now on, if the Yankees and Red Sox finish the season in a tie for first in the AL East, we have these two girls engage in a paddling contest to see who wins.
Or maybe we could just have these two girls replace every Red Sox-Yankees game. Most people outside of New York and Boston are sick of those teams anyway.
By the way, this is how the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry always plays out with my friends.
In an effort to cajole their perennially lackadaisical fans to the ballparks, the Flroida Marlins are one of the few teams in baseball with cheerleaders.
Hey, Marlins, if two championships in seven years ain't gonna do it, nothing will.
By the way, that's just a big pile o' girl, isn't it?
Less is more.
Anna Benson, the incredibly unpleasant wife of former major leaguer Kris Benson, is perhaps one of the worst envelope pushers of all time.
Nice bat, Anna, could you be any more suggestive?
A beautiful day at the friendly confines as swimsuit model Marisa Miller gets ready to throw out the first pitch..
She really knows how to wear a jersey.
We're not kidding:
This is exactly the scene at every food truck outside of Citizens Bank Park on game day.
Man, you thought the girls in A League of Their Own had it bad.
At least they got skirts.
Up in the sky:
It's a bird . . .
It's a plane . . .
No, it's . . . Super hot girl in a Phillies jersey!
(Okay, we may need a more catchy name.)
Don't mess with Texas.
This girl could be a Bond girl.
Is she this generations Ann-Margret?
Tampa Bay, one of the true sources of beautiful women in our country, where they grow on trees, would seem to have no shortage of hot girls in Rays jerseys.
Unfortunately, most of those girls do not realize there is game in town.
At every home game, dozens of Rays fans cheer on these lovely ladies.
Yeah, we couldn't believe the gall of that last girl either.
Boston Red Bras.
Such a shame:
All these girl wanted to do was to get into their underwear and play baseball, and a fight had to break out.
Again, we are forced to criticize.
Yes, the dress may be a little short, but we can live with that.
And her hat is on backwards, but who cares?
Our question: what, oh what, is she going to do when it comes time to field a ball with that glove, which looks like a reject from the Michael Jackson Pink collection?
In case you cannot tell, we're a fan.
This is really "sexy picture taking 101."
Blowing a bubble? Nice.
But what really brings it all together is the baseball glove. What's going on there?
It is what we all want to know.
At the end of the day, the fact that she is actually wearing gear she can actually play in does have its appeal.
And by the way, does anyone have a scorecard for this game, which apparently matched the Grand Ole Opry against another team? We'd love to see the rosters.
Okay, you can play.
Class and style. She's talkin' 'bout New York.
As we cast our eyes upon former Miss USA Rima Fakih wearing a Mets jersey and swinging a bat, we are forced to wonder:
Is it time to add a baseball jersey competition to the Miss USA pageant.
The Yankees get all the best stuff.
Girl, how old you is?
Alyssa Milano is the patron saint of hot girls in baseball gear.
Indeed, you could probably do a "Top 50 Photos of Alyssa Milano in Baseball Gear" Pictorial.
Anyone who spends time trying to keep up with the Kardashians will no doubt end up seeing Kim keeping up with various sporting events or professional athletes.
Here she is keeping up with the Dodgers.
A classic girl-next-door look, Audrina Patridge throws out the first pitch at a less than full Dodgers Stadium.
Imagine having Hollywood starlets throw out first pitches at games all the time.
In Philly, half the time it is some toothless member of the 1972 Philadelphia Flyers.
There is something so all-American about this girl, almost like she should be eating appie pie and dangling an American flag. It just feels right.
There is a weird soccer-plus-baseball-at-a-race-track thing happening here.
Ever notice how sportswriters cannot pass on the opportunity to use certain cliches at certain opportune times?
For example, whenever we refer to the Baltimore Orioles, we must call them "the Once Proud Baltimore Orioles."
And whenever we are referring to a guy like Matt Millen, one of the great failures in the history of professional sports management, we are required to note what a good guy he is.
Well, we feel that from now on, every picture of Eva Longoria must be accompanied by the following statement:
Man, can you believe what an idiot Tony Parker must be?