French Open 2011: Power Ranking the 25 Hottest Players in Tournament History

Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

Ah, the French Open and its quirky, clay court. While Wimbledon has always been my favorite tournament, there is no denying the unique nature of the French Open.

Thus, in homage to this wonderful tournament and the lovely ladies who play in it, I present the 25 Hottest Players in the History of the French Open. There are only two ground rules for appearing on this list—the player played in the tournament, and the player was hot when they did so.

Interspersed within the article you'll find the highest finish for each lady listed, as well as some quirky facts about the French Open and tennis itself.

To the slides!

25. Martina Hingis

Highest French Open Finish: Finals Runner-Up (1997, 1999)

French Open Fun Fact (from Tennis.com):

After the 1999 women’s final, [Hingis'] mother had to convince her to return to the court to receive the runner-up trophy.

24. Bethanie Mattek-Sands

Highest French Open Finish: Third Round (2011)

Yeah, we all know what that dude is looking at.

Her racket—he is an admirer of a nice tennis racket.

What did you think I was talking about?

23. Steffi Graf

Highest French Open Finish: Champion (1987, 1988, 1993, 1995, 1996, 1999)

French Open Fun Fact (from Tennis.com):

In 1996, Steffi Graf beat Arantxa Sanchez Vicaria in the longest women’s final in French Open history.

(In this context, longest means most games played in a French Open Singles Final.)

22. Sania Mirza

Highest French Open Finish: Second Round (2007, 2011)

French Open Fun Fact (from USAToday):

The French Open is 110 years old. It first took place in 1891 in the form of a national championship and became international in 1925.

 

21. Caroline Wozniacki

Highest French Open Finish: Quarterfinals (2010)

The world's number one player was upset in the third round of this year's tournament by Daniela Hantuchova.

Not only that, but as you'll see, Hantuchova beats her on this list as well. Clearly, this has been a tough day for Caroline Wozniacki.

20. Gisela Dulko

Highest French Open Finish: Fourth Round (2006, 2011)

Did you know that a game in tennis played by three people—one player on one side, two players on the other—is known as Canadian Doubles?

I will now be referring to the menage a tois as "Canadian doubles."

19. Serena Williams

Highest French Open Finish: Champion (2002)

French Open Fun Fact (from USAToday):

American Althea Gibson was the first black player to win a Grand Slam tournament in 1956.

18. Amanda Coetzer

Highest French Open Finish: Semifinals (1997)

Did she miss her serve here, and that's why the ball appears to be falling toward the ground?

Or is she going for the most feeble backhanded attempt possibly ever?

For the record, Coetzer was referred to as "The Small Assassin" given her 5'2" frame, so chances are this wasn't a feeble attempt. Even if "The Small Assassin" is a condescending, backhanded compliment of a nickname.

17. Barbara Schett

Highest French Open Finish: Fourth Round (2000, 2001)

Announcers had to be very careful saying Schett's name, as any slip of the tongue risked divulging too much information to the crowd.

"Wait—Barbara did what? Why is he telling us that? We all do it, but I didn't have to know about it, I just want to watch some tennis!"

16. Daniela Hantuchova

Highest French Open Finish: Fourth Round (2002, 2006, 2010, 2011)

Did you know that winning a set without losing a single game, 6-0, is referred to as a "bagel?"

However, winning an entire match without losing a single game is not referred to as a "bagel with cream cheese."

It's simply called a "double bagel."

Frankly, I'd prefer a "bagel with cream cheese" to a "double bagel" any day of the week.

 

Photo from Flickr

15. Carling Bassett

Highest French Open Finish: Quarterfinals (1984, 1986)

Weird '80s Hair Alert! Weird '80s Hair Alert!

For the most part on this slideshow, I've been showing these lovely ladies actually playing tennis, or on the court.

But for those players from the '80s—a strange decade of odd fashion and gawd-awful hair styles—I had to resort to modeling pictures.

Trust me—it's better this way.

14. Elena Vesnina

Highest French Open Finish: Second Round (2009)

Vesnina is one of 4,532 totally hot tennis players in the world today.

Obviously, that is a made-up number. But I bet it's pretty close to being accurate.

13. Chris Evert

Highest French Open Finish: Champion (1974, 1975, 1979, 1980, 1983, 1985, 1986)

Clearly, the clay surface at the French Open did not bother Chris Evert in the least.

Also, she is the only '80s player with a haircut that wasn't too appalling to feature on this slideshow, which only adds to her legacy in my book.

12. Olga Puchkova

Highest French Open Finish: Second Round (2007)

Remember that comment I made about all of the hot Russian players in the world two slides ago?

I present further evidence on this slide to prove my point.

11. Alona Bondarenko

Highest French Open Finish: Third Round (2010)

Possibly my favorite tennis outfit of all time.

10. Marta Domachowska

Highest French Open Finish: Second Round (2005, 2008)

If commercials for the French Open were like the "talking basketball" commercials the NBA is using for its playoffs this year, I would imagine the "talking tennis ball" would say the following:

"Frankly, it was the greatest moment of my life. I thought Marta and I really had something—I thought we had love. And we did, until she served me and eventually won the point. Then she was up 15-0, and I was just another ball in her career. But we'll always have that moment where I brushed against her thigh. It was magical."

9. Elena Dementieva

Highest French Open Finish: Finals Runner-Up (2004)

Perhaps Dementieva is now retired because of that fateful day she completely forgot she was playing tennis and resorted to soccer tactics, ultimately falling in an embarrassing "double bagel" defeat.

8. Sorana Cirstea

Highest French Open Finish: Quarterfinals (2009)

Did you know that hitting a volley in doubles that should have probably been hit by your partner is called poaching?

Ironically, players who consistently poach become endangered species in the world of doubles tennis.

7. Tatiana Golovin

Highest French Open Finish: Third Round (2005)

A tip of the cap to tennis photographers everywhere.

6. Ashley Harkleroad

Highest French Open Finish: Third Round (2003)

Did you know that Harkleroad was the first professional tennis player to ever pose naked for the American version of Playboy?

Actually, chances are that's the only thing you know about Harkleroad, as she never ranked higher than No. 39 on the WTA Tour.

5. Gabriela Sabatini

Highest French Open Finish: Semifinals (1985, 1987, 1988, 1991, 1992)

Weird '80s Hair Alert! Weird '80s Hair Alert!

Another victim from the worst decade for hair in American history.

4. Ana Ivanovic

Highest French Open Finish: Champion (2008)

The hottest champion in the history of the French Open, hands down.

3. Maria Sharapova

Highest French Open Finish: Semifinals (2007)

Only in women's tennis could a beauty like Maria Sharapova ever finish third in a list of hot female athletes.

Not only that, but she isn't even the hottest Maria on the list...

2. Maria Kirilenko

Highest French Open Finish: Fourth Round (2010)

...because in my opinion, that honor goes to Maria Kirilenko.

I was going to compare picking a favorite between the Maria pair to a time in either the NBA or NFL draft where there were two obvious can't-miss prospects at the top of the board that ended up having equivalent careers.

But honestly, the closest I came was the 1992 draft, when Shaq went first-overall and Alonzo Mourning was the second pick. And even in that scenario, Shaq was the clear number one.

In almost every other draft, some team screwed up my analogy (like the Blazers in 1985, taking Sam friggin' Bowie at No. 2 instead of Michael Jordan).

Ugh.

1. Anna Kournikova

Highest French Open Finish: Fourth Round (1998, 1999)

The clear No. 1.

 

Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger)