Ann Arbor, MI — In a recent telephone interview, Rich Rodriguez lashed out at West Virginia University President Mike Garrison and his staff saying, "You don't want any of this! If somebody wants a piece, come and get it."
Rodriguez expressed amazement that WVU officials continue to ask him to pay four million dollars in a contractual buyout agreement.
"Four million of my money? Line up, 'cause someone's got an ass whoopin' comin'," said Rodriguez from his office on the University of Michigan campus. "Do they realize how much cash we're talking about here? I could bail out two third-world countries with that and still have change left over."
"You think I'm letting go of that without a fight? Who wants it first? Are they gonna send some kid off the staff," asked an infuriated Rodriguez. "Don't send some of those third year law students out this way either 'cause I promise you I will hurt three or four of those double-talking bozos," growled the new dean of Michigan football.
Displaying a rare sense of business savvy Rodriguez offered the following: "I've got that money buried so deep in offshore accounts a West Virginia coal miner couldn't dig it out! This is big business and they want to play around like children. I wouldn't give 'em back four dollars, much less four million!"
In an effort to drive home the seriousness of the situation the former WVU coach said, "I don't want to see it in the papers. I don't want to see it on TV or hear it on the radio. Because, I swear, if I do I'm going to snap it off in somebody. I'm gettin' in the car and driving over there. And when I get there someone's getting a foot right in the ass!"