Former Celtics players pollinate nearly all the playoff teams in the NBA, bringing the luck of the Celtics to new places.

Thanks should go to Danny Ainge. Players he left in the gutter as roadkill have been resurrected. The roar of the crowd and the thrill of the primetime television coverage provide the Celtics castoffs with new life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

Diehard Celtics fans are left in Beantown, watching Shannon Allen cooking up meals for her mother-in-law and Amber Rondo, Rajon’s mother, on the local sports network's idea of Celtics coverage. 

Five ex-Celtics, divorced from Ainge unceremoniously, are cooking up their own winning menu. These five were special fan favorites and their departures made some fans see red, not green.

Not only will the discarded Ainge rejects win some extra money from playoffs, but they have increased chances of pursuing happiness more than with the Big Three, who now start to look like the green version of Jurassic Park.

Who would have guessed that Danny was giving his discarded players their United States Constitutional guarantee?

Declared independent of the Celtics, the roll call of recognizable faces may make some fans wince, and others will feel some satisfaction that these onetime Celtic workers have not toiled in vain.

Little House next to MacMansion!
Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Aiding and abetting the Big Heatles Three, Eddie House has found a home that may be mortgage-free in Miami.

Brian Scalabrine may at last find D-Rose smelling as sweet as a leprechaun’s pot of gold, next to the stockyards of Chicago. 

Tony Allen, grizzled now, made a run at stardom with a new venue, and he will return. Neither hell, nor floodwater, will stop Memphis next season.

Nate Robinson now makes commercials for energy drinks, as the sidekick who bumps around Kevin Durant in Oklahoma. No longer is he wearing Shaquille O’Neal’s castoff clothes.

And, last, but no means least, Kendrick Perkins is all smiles as he has found another Squiggy to play to his Lenny. Yes, the savage breast of Kendrick may be quieted by success along side the spiritual peace that Kevin Durant offers. So long, Rondo! 

With bittersweet irony, Celtics fans can watch 33 percent of the Boston Celtics scramble onward to their destiny, thanks to the foresight and generosity of Danny Ainge.